Male from Finland

[Tuoli]

Hmmm... Is anything enabling experience?
Meaning, is there experience and something behind it making it possible?? Can that be found?

No. The dreamer dreaming the dream, - and the character experiencing the dream, is a thought and a memory of the experience.

Ah, so it is not neutral? The word awareness as you define it is a state that comes and goes? Joy, openness, etc, these are experiences. They come and go.

Are 'you' oscillating between:
1 “Awareness” (which feels good, open, peaceful)
2 “Just experience” (which feels empty, or sometimes with resistance)
...and subtly preferring #1?

That's in the past now, a pleasant memory. With this guestioning the oscillation is between submergion in thoughts and feelings, and emptiness of direct experience. There's preference to nro 1 than second but also preference to 2 than the drama experienced currently as submergion in thoughts and feelings.

Is there any inherent problem with whatever is appearing directly as 'resistance'? Or is that a thought about it layered on top, that it shouldn't be happening or that awareness would be preferred?

Yes, it was like that. Pleasurable experiences are preferred to unpleasant. Just experience happening is void of quality. 🙏

[graceabounds]

Right now, when preference appears is there someone preferring?
Or is preference itself just appearing? :)

A pull toward pleasant. A push away from unpleasant. Does that require a “you”?
Or is it just another movement like a sound or a sensation?

Just experience happening is void of quality.

Is it actually “void” or is that a thought describing it as void? What is the experience?

[Tuoli]

Right now, when preference appears is there someone preferring?
Or is preference itself just appearing? :)

Preferring is like a thought or a feeling. It may or may not be acted upon. It appears.

A pull toward pleasant. A push away from unpleasant. Does that require a “you”?
Or is it just another movement like a sound or a sensation?

No it doesn't. It's more like sensation.

Is it actually “void” or is that a thought describing it as void? What is the experience?

With this I've taken some time to investigate. This seems to be brief, glimpse type of experience when there's the experiencing experienced even that sounds abit stupid. Then thoughts take over, - or they are what is experienced. They can describe it freedom and liberating type of experience.

[graceabounds]

This seems to be brief, glimpse type of experience when there's the experiencing experienced even that sounds abit stupid. Then thoughts take over, - or they are what is experienced.

Are these 'glimpses' actually special?
Or is the mind labeling certain moments as “clear” “free" etc
…and other moments as “lost” or “taken over by thought”

When thoughts are present is there still seeing, hearing, and sensation happening?
Does experience disappear? Do thoughts take over?

When you are “fully in thought” is that outside of WHAT IS?

[Tuoli]

Are these 'glimpses' actually special?
Or is the mind labeling certain moments as “clear” “free" etc
…and other moments as “lost” or “taken over by thought”

They are special in a way that they feel different and are uncommon. Other moments are what they are. Lost would be a label thought.

When thoughts are present is there still seeing, hearing, and sensation happening?
Does experience disappear? Do thoughts take over?

When "thoughts take over" there is nothing else experienced than them. Most potent type of experience of this sort is negative reminiscence. Atleast that's the way they are remembered. - It might be different type of experience than with other people because I most likely have undiagnosed attention disorder.

When you are “fully in thought” is that outside of WHAT IS?

It's not.

[graceabounds]

They are special in a way that they feel different and are uncommon.

Good. Honest. Now look again.

What makes them “special”?
Without the labeling are those moments actually different in what they are?
Or only different in content and interpretation?

When "thoughts take over" there is nothing else experienced than them.

Right now don’t rely on memory... Wait for thoughts to become active again then check, in the middle of it:

Are thoughts the only thing present?

Or, at the same time:
is there still a faint sense of the body?
is there still sound in the background?
is there still visual field (even if ignored)?

Is it true that thoughts replace everything else? Does experience disappear?

[Tuoli]

What makes them “special”?
Without the labeling are those moments actually different in what they are?
Or only different in content and interpretation?

It's hard to describe. It's like trying to describe difference of a dream and lucid dream. It's the same but with realization. It's wonder of existence, no interpretation.

Right now don’t rely on memory... Wait for thoughts to become active again then check, in the middle of it:

Are thoughts the only thing present?

Or, at the same time:
is there still a faint sense of the body?
is there still sound in the background?
is there still visual field (even if ignored)?

Is it true that thoughts replace everything else? Does experience disappear?

Experience doesn't dissappear as thoughts are experienced. When thoughts are experienced, it's hard to say if there's anything else or does it oscillate between thoughts and sensations. Oscillation seems to happend when thought context is not heavy. But during the most potent heavy thought cycle about something that is remembered or is imagined to happen, there is nothing else than thoughts, sounds and images that don't come from senses. It's dream type of imaginary existence.

[graceabounds]

Next time a heavy thought loop happens, Look.
Are those thoughts appearing somewhere else? Or are they appearing right here?

Be very precise. The images, the inner voice, the emotion... are they happening in a separate “dream space”?
Or are they appearing in the same place as the room, the body, sounds etc?


It feels like you enter a dream, but do you actually go anywhere?

:)

[Tuoli]

Good point! This took some time as there wasn't heavy thought loops happening. And when it happened, it was noticed later. When I finally noticed mediocre angry thought loop, it disintegrated allmost instantly to thoughts and emotions, and then was felt as sensation in the body. And poof it was gone!

It's happening where all thoughts are experienced. Here
🙏

[graceabounds]

Hooray!