liberation for Zaya

[zaya400]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
I understand that the "self" is a construction generated by the mind but that it is not actually who we really are. Who we really are is unbounded, open awareness. The "self" consists of thoughts, emotions, beliefs, ideas, and identities that we create and confuse for reality. However, we are much more than the constructed "self."

What are you looking for at LU?
I'm looking for guidance in shifting my perception from the "self" to awareness itself as my operating system. I would like to experience interconnected wholeness instead of the way I currently experience life--as a separate self that's disconnected from the whole. I understand it conceptually, but I don't experience it as my default. I understand there's nothing wrong with the "self" and I don't want to (and can't) get rid of it.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I would be grateful for someone to point out where I am confused, to suggest exercises that would help and give me guidance that helps me to see reality clearly. I already have a meditation practice, so my mind is stable and my concentration is good, but I haven't been able to break free of the self. I would be grateful for a guide who can help me with practices outside of meditation as well as some in meditation.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I am a long time meditator. I've had experiences that feel like unity or peace, but they end when I get off the cushion. I still have a solid self structure in place, although I don't believe that it's actually real, but it still feels like it and I operate from it. My concentration and focus is strong and my mind is stable. I'm in a good place in my life--lots of support systems, loving community and stability. I used to be afraid of awakening and it held me back, but I am very ready now.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 11

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[zaya400]

Hello! I'm glad to be here and am so grateful for any assistance on this path of awakening. :)

[Lubo]

Hi dear Zaya,

Welcome to the forum.

I can be your guide here if you are OK with that? My name is Lubo.

Do you have something to share before we start?

So much Love to you,
Lubo

[zaya400]

Thank you for being my guide Lubo!

Yes, let's use the name Zaya. Thank you, I'm ready to begin. :)

[Lubo]

Nice, Zaya. Ok. Let's begin.

Notice that this is Self-inquiry. You are not looking for knowledge, books, gurus, or someone else's ideas—there is no liberation coming from the outside. You are looking Only at You—OK?

Now, do this literally. No imagination. Just trust your guide: Take a piece of paper and write on it a few thoughts that are present right now, such as: "I am Zaya, I am a persona, and because I am a persona I am scared of this or that... I see other bodies as personas too, and they did this to me or to others."

Write the whole flow from the perspective of the "Me-persona." Stop reading and just do it!

...

Are you ready?
Have you filled the paper with these thoughts? If No, please go and do it!

If Yes:

Put the paper on the table and notice: Without the table and the light (daylight or a lamp)—is it possible for the paper to be there? If we remove the table, what happens to the paper and the thoughts? If we remove the light, can the paper be read or known?

Now, turn the paper over to the blank side and write the answer you found: Without the table and the light, can the paper hold itself in this position? Can it be known at all?

Does the paper have its own light, or is it the light that makes the paper appear? Are the table and the light influenced in any way by what is written on the paper?

Answer this, and I will send you the next place to look.

So Much Love to You,
Lubo

[zaya400]

Thanks, Lubo. I finished the exercise and here are the answers to your question:

1. Without the table and the light, can the paper hold itself in this position? Can it be known at all?

No, without the table the paper would fall to the floor. Without the light, it couldn't be seen. In this specific context, they wouldn't be known at all.

Does the paper have its own light, or is it the light that makes the paper appear? Are the table and the light influenced in any way by what is written on the paper?

No, the paper doesn't have it's own light. The light allows the paper to be seen. The table and the light aren't influenced in any way by what is written on the paper. I could have written a novel or drawn a picture and it wouldn't have mattered a bit.

Thanks,
Zaya

[Lubo]

So nice, Zaya,
Step 2: The Shift
Now, lie down on the floor or your bed. Close your eyes.

Identify: Notice thoughts, face, and the surface of the skin. Label this: "This skin, this surface, is the paper. These thoughts are the text being written on it."

The Shift: Now, notice the vast, dark space beneath the skin and behind the face.

Label it: "This is the eternal space in which the body-paper appears. This space holds everything effortlessly."


THE REALIZATION OF POWER
Let only the Light of Awareness remain. Turn your focus inward—not to the thoughts, but to the Dark Light. Notice how infinite you are. You are a vast, endless blackness. Notice the sounds, notice how vast you are how they appear in you?

Then Let your true Self declare:

"I am the infinite darkness.
I am eternal.
I am the Light.
Only my Will exists here.
I appear as everyone and everything, and I move them as I wish. I am Infinite Potential."
What is coming?

Step 3: Training the Mind (The Awakened Mind)
We must train the mind to recognize its true master. Let the mind repeat these words until they sink in: "I do not exist.
Only what is, this vast space is real.
There is no one here but the Space.
I have no power of my own; I am only thoughts appearing in the Void."
What is coming?

So much Love to you, Zaya
Lubo

[zaya400]

Happy 2026!!

Thanks for this exercise Lubo. I recorded myself so i could listen to it and follow along.

I recognized that the thoughts are like words on the paper of my skin and face. They have no power. I could sense the eternal space that is holding everything. It feels open and expansive. Sounds appear seamlessly. They just are.

Then I declared:

"I am the infinite darkness.
I am eternal.
I am the Light.
Only my Will exists here.
I appear as everyone and everything, and I move them as I wish. I am Infinite Potential."

But this didn't feel true to me. I was confused by who is the I that is saying this and believing this. It brought me back to a separate sense of self and thoughts.

Next, I repeated the words:

"I do not exist.
Only what is, this vast space is real.
There is no one here but the Space.
I have no power of my own; I am only thoughts appearing in the Void."

I understand this conceptually, but it comes across as a concept and like "I" am trying to brainwash myself instead of experiencing a truth. I understand that there is no separate I. I get this on the mind level, but it's not coming to me as an experience. I can access deep states of concentration where I witness thoughts arise and go and it feels like there are no boundaries between my body and the world. However, there's always a witnesser that feels like my conventional sense of me.

Thanks for your help. I really appreciate you.

[Lubo]

Happy New Year, Zaya,

I recognized that the thoughts are like words on the paper of my skin and face. They have no power.

Look at the face, the skin, the thoughts... they are just expressions.
If you don't identify with them, Only For 1 sec., what is coming?

Much Love,
Lubo

[zaya400]

When I don't identify with them, sensations are still coming but there's a stillness too. And then very quickly thoughts are back and they want to explain the stillness or make something out of it or try to get it back.

[Lubo]

Look at the face, the skin, the thoughts... they are just expressions.
If you don't identify with them, Only For 1 sec., what is coming?

When I don't identify with them, sensations are still coming but there's a stillness too. And then very quickly thoughts are back and they want to explain the stillness or make something out of it or try to get it back.

Excellent, Zaya!

This is a big breakthrough.

What is it like to find that you are not the face, the skin, and the thoughts?

[zaya400]

When I remember that it's true it feels wonderful! Very freeing and peaceful. How do I shift my experience to have this all the time?

[Lubo]

When I remember that it's true it feels wonderful! Very freeing and peaceful. How do I shift my experience to have this all the time?

Step by step, dear Zaya. :)

I want you to look without using your memory.
Right now, when you are not identifying with thoughts or the face—is there a 'persona' in any shape or form living a life?

Is there a body that is seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, or deciding...

[zaya400]

Thank you, Lubo, I'll try to be patient. :)

When I am not identifying with my thoughts or face, there is no persona living a life.

Is there a body that is seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, or deciding...

Yes, there is a body that is seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling or deciding. It does this automatically without my 'persona' directing it to do so. I experience this to be true. But I also experience a process of thoughts that seems to direct this body to do things. It isn't capable of directing the body to stop smelling or stop hearing, but it can direct the body to pick up a pen or to type this message or to focus on the directions you are giving me. So it feels like part of who I am is an automatic set of processes that just happen. And part of who I am is a set of thoughts that direct "me" to do things in the world.

[Lubo]

When I am not identifying with my thoughts or face, there is no persona living a life.

When you are not identifying with the body and thoughts—are you them?
Slow down and look. ;)