Searching for truth

[WhoWell]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this? My understanding is that 'no self' means that we are not separate from one another or life. We feel separate because of the thoughts we use to interpret everything. I'm not exactly sure because I feel like a very separate self.

What are you looking for at LU? I am looking for peace. Even though my life has been pretty good by many standards something still feels very unsatisfying. There can be a great deal of mental suffering going on inside even though outside I appear fine. I'd like to know the truth of who I am and why I am here.

What do you expect from a guided conversation? I expect someone to confront my limiting beliefs so that I can let them go. I'm not quite sure where that will take me. I am hoping for relief from suffering and ultimately to be at peace with everyone and everything around me.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry? I was raised in and have been surrounded for most of my life by a Christian church that encourages its members to seek the truth for themselves. Some of the teachings have felt off for me since I was a child, and some have taken on different meaning over time. After studying some other religions from around the world with my children, I realized that although the symbolism was different they all seemed to be pointing to the same thing - waking up to a higher self and becoming one with all. I started exploring what this meant and found Angelo Dilullo's website, which led me to other teachers such as Eckhart Tolle and Adyashanti. I've now read many books, watched many videos, and have done some self inquiry. I'm still struggling with feeling like I am not making any progress in my search though, but feel drawn to whatever this is.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

[Anastacia42]

Good morning (here in Colorado)

found Angelo Dilullo's website, which led me to other teachers such as Eckhart Tolle and Adyashanti.

Those are all good.

My name is Stacy and I can be your guide, if you would like.

One thing that is helpful is to come to this forum
& post every day. Sometimes the site goes down. It will be back. Just come back later.

Yes, if once in a while you must post later, please post a note telling me when you will return.

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

Some housekeeping guidelines:

1. Post at least once a day, or every second day. If you need more time, or are unable to post for several days, just write a quick post on your thread to let me know please.

2. There is no one judging answers given, so please be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.

3. This exploration is based on actual experience (AE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and observed thoughts. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.

4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading and so on for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily meditation practice, it is fine to continue that but is not necessary for this exploration.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run!

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration. In your own words (not from actual experience, but just honest answers), could you please answer the 4 following questions:

How will life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?


Loving,

[WhoWell]

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?

Thank you, Stacy. My name is Whitney. I appreciate you helping me with this. I am in Mountain Time (Idaho).

How will life change?

I'm not exactly sure, but I imagine it being more peaceful. If there is nothing separate, then there would be nothing to fight against. I've also heard about shadow work though, so that seems like more of an eventuality.

How will you change?

I think I would become less reactive/more accepting of everything. Maybe more compassionate towards others.

What will be different?

I suppose what I think most is that it will be something like an aha moment where a truth is seen. Things that are untruth no longer seem relevant or even seem funny, so you just can let them go.

What is missing?

Peace. I'm always searching.

[Anastacia42]

Hi Whitney,

Good. Your expectations are mostly reasonable.

Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.


Loving,

[WhoWell]

Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.

Frustration. Tears want to well up. I don't understand.

[Anastacia42]

Awww. It will be okay. Are you alright?

That question checks for fears.

Fears and expectations are the only 2 things that can keep you from seeing that there is no "self."

This is how to LOOK for no self in the exercises - we call them "pointers' - that we will be doing here:

Colored Socks

There is a big difference between knowing that there is nothing to give up and seeing that there is nothing to give up.

Here is an example to illustrate the difference:

If I ask you what color socks you are wearing right now you have two ways to come up with an answer:

• You can think about it, you can think back to this morning and try to remember putting your socks on, and you can probably tell me what color you think they are.

• Alternatively, you can take a quick look at your socks and tell me what color they actually are!

Hopefully you would agree that you can only be 100% certain by looking.

For the purpose of seeing this "no self" idea, it is very important that you are clear about this difference.

Knowing is about knowledge which is all in the mind and we are not interested in that

We are only interested in looking at and seeing what is actually going on in your present moment-to-moment experience. We are only interested in your Direct Experience in the moment..

Direct or Actual Experience is

Seeing
Hearing
Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)
Tasting
Smelling
Thoughts Arising (but not their content)

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.



Loving,

[WhoWell]

Are you alright?

Yes, just tired of seeking and not getting it. Also maybe some fear that if I see it, what's left of my religious beliefs will fall away and my family won't get that. Fear that to some degree I will lose them.

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.

Yes, this makes sense.

[Anastacia42]

I hear you.

Yes it is likely that religious beliefs will fall away.

There is a Direct Looking process for fear.

https://youtu.be/jKX1llYtlKE?si=jHXuuyyVtp7c-1R2

And this one:

https://youtu.be/fSTT8nc8cvQ?si=Alcukpbi7SUlXpfi

Fear and expectations are the only things that can keep you from seeing that there is no self.

Let me know how those work for you.

Loving,

Loving,

[WhoWell]

I don't really understand when she says to ask an emotion questions. I noticed the thought arise that I'm searching for unconditional love. I also noticed that while there are different sensations in the body that can be felt, emotion didn't seem to be there unless thoughts were arising.

[Anastacia42]

It's all a metaphor. Just a visualization.

Right. Emotions, Including fear are Sensation plus a label & a thought story. That's all.

Does that help?

Loving

[Anastacia42]

Here is your next pointer:


Direct Experience - Labeling Daily Activities

Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:

Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all Actual/Direct Experience) and report back with lists exactly like the one above.

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please.

Refer to the green list of Actual/Direct Experience in the prior post if that helps. Those are the only items any experience can be.

Loving,

[WhoWell]

Does that help?

I think I understand. My fear is telling me that there is going to be something painful or uncomfortable that I should avoid. When I check in with direct experience I can see that there is no real danger. It's just the thoughts arising that make it seem so.

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please.

Thoughts about breakfast, simply = thought
Seeing melon in fridge, simply = image/color
Removing cold melon from fridge, simply = sensation
Slicing melon, simply = sensation
Sweet smell, simply = smell
Knife hitting board, simply = sound
Tasting melon, simply = taste

Sitting at table, simply = sensation
Hearing footsteps, simply = sound
Thought about child out of bed, simply = thought
Child comes into room, simply = image/color
Child climbs into lap, simply = sensation
Child whines, simply = sound

Looking through car window, simply = image/color
Feeling vibrations of car, simply= sensation
Worries about school, simply = thought
Smell air freshener, simply = smell
Kids talking in back seat, simply = sound

[Anastacia42]

Good. That's the first step. Here's the next one:


Mind Labeling Experience

Here is an exercise which examines the way in which the mind labels experience - it takes about 20 minutes and you will need a pen a paper.

This exercise is broken into 10 minute lots. For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation i.e. is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

For the first ten minutes write down what you are experiencing right now using the word “I”.

For example:

I am sitting on a chair,
I am hearing a clock ticking,
I am looking at a computer screen,
I am feeling hungry.

Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just a plain description of your experience right here and now.

Then for the next ten minutes continue writing down what you are experiencing but this time without using the word “I”. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs.

For example:

Sitting on a chair,
typing,
breathing,
blinking,
hearing the clock.

(Again, watch what is happening in the body.)

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labelled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

2. What is here without labels?

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?


Loving,

[WhoWell]

For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation i.e. is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

1st 10 min:
I am sitting in a chair
I am feeling my arms against the table
I am feeling a tight spot in my back
I am noticing thoughts arise
I am looking at the cat
I am watching pen move across paper
I am looking out the window
I am seeing leaves move in the breeze
I am noticing tension in my jaw
I am scratching my nose
I am checking the timer on my phone
I am hearing water run in the kitchen
I am hearing my daughter speak
I am hearing myself reply
I am hearing the clothes dryer
I am feeling my shirt sleeve against my arm
I am hearing an engine outside
I am hearing a second engine
I am noticing thoughts arise
I am hearing my daughter speak
I am replying
I am seeing the mail car drive up
I am hearing heavy machinery beeping

2nd 10 min:
Hearing water run
Feeling arm on paper
Watching trucks
Hearing truck
Hearing light switch
Feeling fingers on page
Watching pen write
Eyes closing
Feeling legs against chair
Hearing things put in sink
Stretching neck
Hearing chopper
Feeling shoulders
Feeling sleepy
Noticing thoughts arise
Checking timer
Leaning back in chair
Noticing thoughts arise
Looking out window
Feeling jeans against tummy
Seeing table
Feeling sleepy

There must have been some relaxing in the second ten minutes, because my eyelids kept drooping and I was feeling very sleepy by the end. I didn't notice any significant relaxing event though. I noticed i carry alot of tension in my body in general.

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

The second seems more true. In the moment there is only the hearing, seeing, etc. I am not finding an I to reference and then seeing that the body doing the sensing belongs to me with each experience. There is only the awareness of a sense in the moment. Thinking about this becomes confusing though because there still seems to be an I that is aware of the experience.

2. What is here without labels?

Only the experience. Any thoughts are just labels.

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

No, the labels don't change the experience. They only describe it.

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

Just that I became sleepy

[Anastacia42]

Good.

Thinking will always be confusing Ignore the content of thoughts. There is awareness but that is not a self.

This should help some.

Here is how to distinguish truth from lies.


We often lie every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes. there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you were grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lied, "I'm fine."

Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind if lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body Sensation that accompanies lying.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie.

This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body Sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body Sensations & able to clearly express them in words. This will help.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.

First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.

What is found?

If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

I will give you a clue: it is not that peaceful Sensation you felt before when you omitted "I." (refers to an exercise I gave before this one)

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

"Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body Sensation, not the Sensation itself, for example.

Do you see that?

Loving,