ready to wake up now

[sonicfaery00]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
I understand there is no I. The I or sense of self is a collection of thoughts claiming every experience, creating a story. I had a glimpse a long time ago but it has long gone. I understand this but haven't realized it fully.

What are you looking for at LU?
I am looking for guidance to go home. Someone who can help me see through the veil. I have been a seeker for a long time while knowing there is nothing to seek out there or in the future.
I have a lot of fear and anxiety and this feeling I am going to get crazy. I have a big fear of death.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I hope that a guide can help facilitate the process and guide people. Someone to help me look at beliefs, identities and fears. Someone who can challenge me to look deeply everywhere, and help with awakening

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I have done some inquiry, listened to a lot of Adyashanti over the years and done a few short meditation retreats and a long one. I have also done a lot of psychedelics as well.
Now mostly looking and feeling my experience but the narrative is so strong. the fear is strong.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 11

[Sonofnature]

Hi!

My name is Marius and I’m glad to connect with you and explore this inquiry together. Before we get started, I’d like to check in about a few things:

1. Please take some time to carefully read through the following LU documents. Let me know if you have any questions, doubts, or reservations about them:

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2
http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

2. I work best with people who are motivated and willing to engage consistently—answering questions and reflecting on exercises almost daily until we complete the process. Flexibility is key, and exceptions for vacations or other priorities are perfectly okay. What matters most is a shared commitment to staying engaged.

3. Honesty is crucial in this process. I encourage you to be as open and truthful as possible when answering questions, even if it feels uncomfortable at times. This level of honesty is what allows real breakthroughs to happen.

Additionally, I’d like to explore your expectations of "awakening" or "enlightenment" more deeply. Please answer the following questions as honestly and openly as you can:

How do you believe life will change if enlightenment is realized?
How do you think you will change?
What will be different?
What do you feel is missing right now?

Looking forward to hearing from you!

[sonicfaery00]

Hi Marius,

Thank you for your email! Sounds good, yes I am ready!

1. I checked the documents

2. I am actually away for a few weeks but I have reception here for another week, then off the grid for a week then back home.

3. How do you believe life will change if enlightenment is realized?
How do you think you will change?
What will be different?
What do you feel is missing right now?

I'd say my expectations are: life, stories will be less personal, there will be more acceptance of what is actually happening, no more fear of death or fear of suffering. Those last 2 are big ones. Seeking will stop. There is definitely a part of me that wants to escape from the suffering and is secretly hoping that this will help with that.

How will I change: I think I will feel less contracted, more at peace.

What is missing now: the shift..seeing clearly that there is no me. A lot is understood at the level of mind, still caught in the story.

Talk to you soon and thank you again for your email.
Marie

[Sonofnature]

Hi Marie,

It’s nice to hear that you’re ready to explore! Since it’s been a while since I responded to your post and I didn't hear back until now, I’ve committed to guiding others.

However, I’ve made sure that another experienced guide, Lubo, will take over and support you in this process. I’m confident he'll provide you with excellent guidance. Wishing you the very best on this journey!

Warm regards,
Marius

[Lubo]

Hi Marie,
My name is Lubo,
I would be happy to support you on this journey, if you are OK?

I am so familiar with your experience:

I'd say my expectations are: life, stories will be less personal, there will be more acceptance of what is actually happening, no more fear of death or fear of suffering.

stories will be less personal- You will see that every story is personal - that is the end of all stories

there will be more acceptance - acceptance of all your emotions and enjoyment YES,

acceptance of what is happening - becomes acceptance of your desires every moment

no more fear of death or fear of suffering - become playing with parts in us that are enjoying the juiciness of this energies

What comes up when you read this a few times?

So much love to you,
Lubo

[sonicfaery00]

Hi Lubo,

Thank you so much for your email :)

Ok so..
what comes up is : yes!! wanting the relief from acceptance, the end of all the stories AND also at the same time feeling in the dark, longing for this to be seen fully. lots of doubts and nothing to do, nowhere to go uggh. seeking is not happy about this.

This part I didn't understand very well:

no more fear of death or fear of suffering - become playing with parts in us that are enjoying the juiciness of this energies

do you mean: fear of death and suffering are playing with parts of us that enjoy this energy? energy of fear?

Thank you so much for your help.
Marie

[Lubo]

Hi Marie,

Thank you so much for your email :)

I am so exited to play with you.

yes!! wanting the relief from acceptance, the end of all the stories AND also at the same time feeling in the dark, longing for this to be seen fully

I hear you. You are not alone anymore!
You are free and safe, you can rest <3
There is nothing bigger than you.

do you mean: fear of death and suffering are playing with parts of us that enjoy this energy? energy of fear?

Yes, energy of fear is the energy of excitement.
When we were children, we knew how to enjoy this energy. Remember the fairy tales you loved as a child?
Mine was "Little Red Riding Hood"—so much fear! А little girl in the woods, a terrifying wolf, the grandmother being eaten alive, the little girl alone with the wolf in the grandmother's bedroom...
As children, we adored this energy—the thrill of it, like the rides in amusement parks. The teenagers pay for it :)

Now someone has told us we need to act like adults, and we've forbidden ourselves the ability to enjoy this energy.
We've shamed this natural capacity... and now we wonder how to deal with this energy, when in fact, we've known how to handle it since we were little—and we were really good at it.

I want to invite you to see this mechanism.
Just to see, without doing anything at all.
Notice first the shame that covers the fear and says "This shouldn't be here". Just see without judging or trying to fix anything.
notice the juiciness of this energy?
The teenagers pay for it, re-label it with "excitement"
What is it like to see this?
How the experience is changing?
:)

So much love to you,
Lubo

[sonicfaery00]

Dear Lubo,

I have been reflecting today on this: the fear as energy and what you mean with the example of the fairy tale..

So at first I was thinking well I always had a lot of fear and anxiety since always but the more I reflect the more I get a sense of the excitement you are talking about. Maybe a vague memory...the energy is just energy without a label but it can so intense..and it doesn't take much for the thoughts and labels to attach to it.

Just to see, without doing anything at all.
Notice first the shame that covers the fear and says "This shouldn't be here". Just see without judging or trying to fix anything. notice the juiciness of this energy?
The teenagers pay for it, re-label it with "excitement"
What is it like to see this?
How the experience is changing?

Yes I have noticed that before, the "this shouldn't be there" and yes there is a lot of juice there, juice for many lifetimes!!!

I will try to pay attention next time something comes. up...
Right now I am on vacation in the sun and it has been very relaxing from the usual anxiety and being so focused on the seeking.

Tell me more about shame covering up fear.

Much love back and thank you!!

M

[Lubo]

Hi Marie,

So at first I was thinking well I always had a lot of fear and anxiety since always but the more I reflect the more I get a sense of the excitement you are talking about. Maybe a vague memory...the energy is just energy without a label but it can so intense..and it doesn't take much for the thoughts and labels to attach to it.

Awesome! Energy + story= "I want to sober from the story and energy"

Yes I have noticed that before, the "this shouldn't be there" and yes there is a lot of juice there, juice for many lifetimes!!!

I like your sense of humor :). Now you see that fear and story about fear are all made up.
Something like sobering from this pattern, Right?

I will try to pay attention next time something comes. up...
Right now I am on vacation in the sun and it has been very relaxing from the usual anxiety and being so focused on the seeking.

I think you already see the script :)

Tell me more about shame covering up fear.

My seeing is that fear is just a projection and shame cover that with " Don't look at the fear - Try to fix something on the outside so that fear doesn't arise.

Love,
Lubo

[sonicfaery00]

Hi Lubo,

I was out last night and didn't get a chance to respond.

the last thing you said:

My seeing is that fear is just a projection and shame cover that with " Don't look at the fear - Try to fix something on the outside so that fear doesn't arise.

I feel there is lot there to unpack. Fear is a projection, do you mean about the future?

And shame: don't look at fear, fix something on the outside to avoid feeling fear.

Could you please tell me more about this?

Thank you so much!
Much love.
Marie

[Lubo]

Hi dear Marie,

I feel there is lot there to unpack. Fear is a projection, do you mean about the future?

I mean, If you look around right now, can you find a tiger or anything else dangerous? and the experience of the fear (if it is here) is just imagination, projection.

And shame: don't look at fear, fix something on the outside to avoid feeling fear.
Could you please tell me more about this?

Look at the body, then with eyes closed notice the emptiness where the body appear
and check - what is wrong with this body, why should live under fear?
What the body prefer freedom from fear or ...check for 0.5 sec what is to live without fear?

notice that the body is worthy of living without fear, shame, and worry?

Love,
Lubo

[sonicfaery00]

Dear Lubo,

Thank you for your clarification.
I understand what you mean by projection.

I am still thinking about what you said about the body.
The body identification confuses me a lot still. I know we are talking about direct experience but it still feels like me!!

Also l wanted to let you know that l am driving back to California and it will take me 5-6 days with limited internet. I hope it’s ok. Once l am home it will be more easy to communicate.

Much love
Marie

[Lubo]

Hi Marie,

I am still thinking about what you said about the body.
The body identification confuses me a lot still

Yes, I know.
Look at the body as empty can, nobody's can. to see that there is only NOW and you are Vast, God notice that nobody's body is moved by nobody's consciousness/Love - and love appear as body and life experience.
Notice with eyes closed what is "behind" the body? Notice the softness and DMT nothingness there?

Also notice that the main "problems" are thoughts stories + emotions.
For now just find what is going ON.
Notice is there "persona" running the show at this very moment?
You are here to realize the Absolute.
Make sound "Hmmmmmm" notice where this sound is known? Who is here? :)
Noice that sound is known not only ""in the head" but also from something bigger?
Notice the vastness you are.
So much love to you,
Lubo

[sonicfaery00]

Hi Lubo,

I am finally back home after the week long drive home and can be back online regularly. Hope it didn’t complicate things for you.

Look at the body as empty can, nobody's can. to see that there is only NOW and you are Vast, God notice that nobody's body is moved by nobody's consciousness/Love - and love appear as body and life experience.
Notice with eyes closed what is "behind" the body? Notice the softness and DMT nothingness there?

Feeling very much mind identified or self absorbed.
with my eyes closed it seems like vastness but how l do l know it is not a mental image? Like l am imagining vastness?

Also notice that the main "problems" are thoughts stories + emotions. For now just find what is going ON.
Notice is there "persona" running the show at this very moment?

Yes l can see that thoughts and emotions are the big problems. It feels very much like there is a me running the show until l look. I can see it is a construct sometimes and sometimes the pull of the thoughts stories seem to take all the space!!

Much love,
Marie

[Lubo]

Hey , Hi Marie,

Feeling very much mind identified or self absorbed.

Yes, it is so hard for us not to believe the mind—that there is nothing wrong with the Self, that this is entire beingness. The Self is whole, and there is nothing wrong or in danger.

with my eyes closed it seems like vastness but how l do l know it is not a mental image? Like l am imagining vastness?

With eyes closed, without imagining what you are—no body, human form, thoughts, images, or ideas—*“look”* at you. Not at what is found, but at you.

Where is the looking happening?
What does it feel like to be with you?

Love to you, Marie.
Lubo