Thread Title It is what it is - or is it?

[CtrlAltDel98]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this? I understand the concept that there is no self. I think I am choosing to do or not do, but in reality Maddie (the body) experiences thoughts, feelings and sensations without “me” or “I” creating/ prompting them.

I get stuck, perhaps I’m labelling this idea of feeling stuck as something that is my fault? My choice?
What are you looking for at LU? The big questions I have, after a decade of addiction, how do I learn that there is no choice. Why would a body let this path happen to them? How do I change paths? I haven’t worked for over 2 years, I don’t have a routine that I can just “watch” happen. I feel if I don’t make plans to do things, they won’t get done? If I don’t plan to get a job, or to go to therapy, or to work on breaking bad habits and addiction, won’t they just continue?

What do you expect from a guided conversation? I’m intrigued, but have a distinct gut-feeling of disbelief that I hope can shake. (Almost wrote “help me shake”, but starting to reword phrases into just statements rather than something that is done, which I react/ go forward and act upon). I hope someone calls me out when I’m being evasive or using intellect/ words to force myself to believe. I need someone to be direct, transparent, as I have a habit of using “concepts” as theories.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry? 10 years of therapy, inpatient to online. No formal meditation (I strongly dislike any practice I’ve ever done and do my best to avoid).
I also avoid “traditional” self-help, as I have a habit of spiting, if I am told something is true and MUST be correct, without experiencing it firsthand, I resist/ seek to prove wrong?

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

Let's check a few things first, ok?

First questions:

1. Are you using any addictive substances now, including legal ones, such as alcohol or marijuana?

2. If not, how long have you been clean & sober?

Thank you,