Bring it on
Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2024 1:05 am
LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
The sense of 'i' or 'me' that appears so frequently in thoughts and seems to be running the show is actually a false perspective. Once that false sense of self falls away then the truth of it all will become the predominant way of being.
What are you looking for at LU?
I've been meditating a lot over the past few years and while it has been fruitful and rewarding, I am hoping for something a bit more direct that will cut through all the conditioning and expectations of the false sense of self.
What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I think I'm hoping for insight into a more direct path along with help navigating blind spots or any de-railing tendencies (doubt). I don't have anyone around who is on a similar path so I think a guided conversation would also help normalize this entire process and keep it moving forward.
What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I had a self-development and therapy phase in my late thirties that lasted a few years. That naturally led to reading 'The Power of Now' and that was my entry point into spirituality. But I was still trying to solve it all intellectually and I was probably seeking to just feel better about life and myself.
Then about five years ago I got into meditation and I feel like that is when I was officially all-in and willing to see what is beyond the ego. I started with 'The Mind Illuminated' but quickly moved onto a style that was more open, like putting attention on the simple feeling of existence. About four years ago I started experimenting with meditating more than I thought I was capable of, two hours a day or so. Shortly after starting that I had an experience where I felt an extraordinary, undeniable sense of okayness in my chest area. It was much stronger and more real then any emotion I've ever felt, and it was also different somehow, as if it was not built from human emotions. It lasted a half day and I interpreted it as proof of "something else" or evidence of what is underneath the false sense of self.
Since then I have been meditating 1-2 hours a day, but also with occasional patches where meditation feels forced so I take a couple weeks off. I've gone through stretches where I work on concentration and will get piti/sukha arising during sessions -- but eventually I find concentration practice too rigid and will go back to something like just sitting. When I'm meditating frequently I usually feel different throughout the rest of the day -- there is a softness to the world and to "me". Visually the world will also look different, like sharper or more vivid, and nature is saturated and overflowing with something like perfectness.
That's probably what sustains my practice lately, but I also feel like it has me in a loop of chasing pleasant states, both in meditation and off the cushion. Lately I am becoming more conscious of the "doer" and the "meditator" and have been questioning the perspective of the one seeking enlightenment. I've experimented with self-inquiry over the past few years but it has never lasted for me, it seems to trigger the ego and all its intellectualizing and that leads me to dropping it. But I'm drawn to its directness and it feels like a natural next step for me, that is probably what has led me here.
On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10
The sense of 'i' or 'me' that appears so frequently in thoughts and seems to be running the show is actually a false perspective. Once that false sense of self falls away then the truth of it all will become the predominant way of being.
What are you looking for at LU?
I've been meditating a lot over the past few years and while it has been fruitful and rewarding, I am hoping for something a bit more direct that will cut through all the conditioning and expectations of the false sense of self.
What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I think I'm hoping for insight into a more direct path along with help navigating blind spots or any de-railing tendencies (doubt). I don't have anyone around who is on a similar path so I think a guided conversation would also help normalize this entire process and keep it moving forward.
What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I had a self-development and therapy phase in my late thirties that lasted a few years. That naturally led to reading 'The Power of Now' and that was my entry point into spirituality. But I was still trying to solve it all intellectually and I was probably seeking to just feel better about life and myself.
Then about five years ago I got into meditation and I feel like that is when I was officially all-in and willing to see what is beyond the ego. I started with 'The Mind Illuminated' but quickly moved onto a style that was more open, like putting attention on the simple feeling of existence. About four years ago I started experimenting with meditating more than I thought I was capable of, two hours a day or so. Shortly after starting that I had an experience where I felt an extraordinary, undeniable sense of okayness in my chest area. It was much stronger and more real then any emotion I've ever felt, and it was also different somehow, as if it was not built from human emotions. It lasted a half day and I interpreted it as proof of "something else" or evidence of what is underneath the false sense of self.
Since then I have been meditating 1-2 hours a day, but also with occasional patches where meditation feels forced so I take a couple weeks off. I've gone through stretches where I work on concentration and will get piti/sukha arising during sessions -- but eventually I find concentration practice too rigid and will go back to something like just sitting. When I'm meditating frequently I usually feel different throughout the rest of the day -- there is a softness to the world and to "me". Visually the world will also look different, like sharper or more vivid, and nature is saturated and overflowing with something like perfectness.
That's probably what sustains my practice lately, but I also feel like it has me in a loop of chasing pleasant states, both in meditation and off the cushion. Lately I am becoming more conscious of the "doer" and the "meditator" and have been questioning the perspective of the one seeking enlightenment. I've experimented with self-inquiry over the past few years but it has never lasted for me, it seems to trigger the ego and all its intellectualizing and that leads me to dropping it. But I'm drawn to its directness and it feels like a natural next step for me, that is probably what has led me here.
On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10