Hello Hannes
Thank you for what you wrote of expectations.What you wrote is perfectly reasonable.
And now I am going to ask that you do your best to lay them aside !
The paradox here is that we come to this inquiry because of expectations and then we're asked to lay them aside ! Why is that? It is because they arise and exist in the realm of thought which is the domain of the illusion we are looking to see through.
Now while it is easier said than done, just do your best to leave them aside. The pointers that we will use help us do that.
And if we look honestly there is this over riding desire to "awaken." We even ask to lay that aside as it typically carries with it many assumptions about what it is.
The only valid expectation is the desire to see the truth of this that we call a "me." Once seen then other expectations will be touched. How they are touched is very individual and unique.
This notion of an "I" is the shakey (non existent) foundation on which so many of these expectations are built. This is what robs us of the peace we yearn for.
And another thing to be aware of. While we yearn to find the truth within us,
it is every bit as important to find that which veils the truth. Becoming aware of what veils the truth is what this inquiry is all about.
To find the truth of "no self" the approach here is to deconstruct the idea of the separate self. It is an unlearning, an undoing and for this reason the best way to approach this is to put aside everything you think you know or expect and just be with this exploration with an openness and a willingness to LOOK directly. By applying the exercises and questions given throughout this exploration in your day to day living - not just sitting and pondering or imagining what we are exploring - but actually applying the ideas to your life and seeing them in action…actually doing the work (practical application) every day, day in and day out, you will then be able to LOOK and see that even though the separate self seems to appear over and over, the truth is that it actually can never be found. It is this continual ACTUAL EXPERIENCE that is the key. Eventually it won't matter that the sense of a separate self still appears...there is simply a knowing that it is a concept - a fictitious imaginary character. This exploration is not about getting rid of the separate self or getting rid of anything, but seeing that there was never a separate limited self to start with.
All that is asked is that you LOOK every day and LOOK diligently…not for anyone’s sake but for your own – for you to be 100% committed to yourself (as we have talked about already) in order to see through the idea of being the separate self. It is through this diligent LOOKING that realizations happen. On the flip side, being gentle with one self is also necessary. Many years of thinking one is a limited separate entity with ingrained beliefs and conditioning isn’t necessarily going to disappear overnight. So being gentle with yourself and having compassion for yourself is very necessary.
If there is no separate self, what am I doing all day? The astonishment then turned into curiosity about the new experience.
Good question - what am I doing all day. We will explore this. And lovely to hear you expressing curiosity. This is what w eso much need in this exploration.
If everything is a story, why does it feel so real? What function do my 5 senses have or are they part of the story? If so, am I dreaming right now? What about the whole world and its history of seemingly separate selves?
And we will be exploring this and digging into it to see why it feels so real and how the senses function and how they are "covered" by the story
Thank you for being my teacher
This is something we need to be very clear about. I will not be teaching in the traditional way. We will not be introducing any doctrine or particular "models" We will be exploring things through exercises, your Direct Experience and your insights about things which will be pointed to. All in your own experience. And I will be pointing you to the only true teacher - the Inner Teacher. Some call it intuition.
So let us now look at one of the keys we will use in this exploration.
Direct or Actual Experience (DE or AE for short)
So many of us humans believe we are seeing clearly when in fact we are seeing through what might be described as a fog of thought (labels, beliefs, concepts, assumptions, perspectives and many other attributes of what we call mind) This can come as a bit of a shock and also a great relief to truly see the ways in which we do this.
So what is this Direct or Actual Experiencing? For practical purposes we can identify 6 aspects of experiencing. It is PURE
Seeing
Hearing
Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)
Tasting
Smelling
Thoughts Arising (
but not their content)
We are depending totally on DE to LOOK for no self.
Now here are a couple of exercises that help us experience what it is like to get out of our heads and see what is really going on in present moment experience - Direct or Actual Experience. (DE or AE)
If I was to ask you what color is the heel of your left sock or shoe, there are at least two ways to answer. One is you could answer from memory or alternatively you could go and LOOK.
What color do you think the heel of your left sock or shoe is?
Can you be 100% sure?
When you LOOK DIRECTLY is it what you thought it was?
Hopefully you would agree that you can only be 100% certain by looking.
One of the traps we can fall into without even noticing is going to memory (thought) for an answer rather than LOOKING directly.
Going straight to DE
EVERY TIME to EXPERIENCE an answer - no matter how simple - cuts to the core of this exploration so much faster.
One of the things that veils DE is the phenomena of labeling
Here is something Ilona wrote about labeling
https://markedeternal.blogspot.com/search?q=labels
Let’s use DE with seeing and hearing for a start
As you are sitting responding to this post describe……
What are you are seeing? (without labels.)
What are you are hearing? (without labels.)
And hugs back to you too !!!
Alan