Dearest Alternate Carpark...
It is with great gladness I drop out of this thread. You are in a thread with another, and it has my blessing, which of course it does not need. The gladness is for the potential it presents.
You commit yourself to help, then back out of this commitment.
You give my other discussion your blessings which you also state it doesn't need.
As Spock would say...Interesting.
Take the blows from StepVhan. Gasp for air.
Blows, as in, hot air?
Gasp, as in, smelly hot air?
If you mean psychological blows to my psyche....I offer this story...
It's from the first Eastern philosophy book I bought back in 2007.
-----------------------------
"Gautam Buddha was surrounded by a crowd that was abusing him,
using ugly words, obscene words, because he was against the organised religion of the Hindus
and against the Hindu holy scriptures, the Vedas.
He had condemned the priesthood, saying that these were exploiters, parasites.
Naturally, the Brahmans were enraged.
This was a Brahman village through which he was passing, and the Brahmans surrounded him
and said every kind of bad thing that they could manage.
He listened silently.
His disciples became angry, but because Buddha was present,
it was not courteous for them to say anything.
The master was standing so silent, and listening as if these people were saying sweet things.
Finally Buddha said to them, "If the things that you wanted to say to me are finished,
I would like to go on to the next village where people are waiting for me.
But if you are not finished, after a few days I will be returning and I will inform you.
Then I will have enough time to listen to all that you want to say."
One man said, "Do you think that we are saying something? We are condemning you !
Do you understand or not? Because anybody else would become angry, and you are standing silently..."
The statement that Buddha made to these village people is immensely significant.
He said, "You have come a little too late. If you had come ten years ago when I was insane as you are,
not a single person would have left here alive."
Ten years ago he was a prince, a warrior, one of the best archers of his time,
a great swordsman, and those Brahmans...
he could have removed their heads with a single blow, without any difficulty,
because those Brahmans know nothing about swords or arrows or being a warrior.
He would have cut them almost like vegetables.
He said,
"You have come too late. Ten years ago if you had come...
but now I am no longer insane; I cannot react.
But I would like to ask you one question.
In the last village, people came with sweets, fruits and flowers to receive me;
however, we take food only once a day, and we had already taken our food. And we don't carry things, so we had to tell them,
"You please forgive us, we cannot accept these sweets, fruits and flowers.
We accept your love, but these things you will have to keep."
"I want to ask you", he said to the angry crowd,
"What must they have done with the sweets, fruits and flowers they had brought as presents for us?"
One man said, "What is the mystery in it? They must have distributed them all throughout the village."
Buddha said, "That makes me very sad. What will you do,
because I don't accept what you have brought, in the same way I did not accept the sweets, fruits and flowers that the people brought me in the other village.
If I don't accept your obscenities, your ugly words, your dirty words...if I don't accept them, what can you do?
What are you going to do with all this garbage that you have come with?
You will have to take it back to your homes and give it to your wifes, to your children, to your neighbors.
You will have to distribute it, because I refuse to take it.
And you cannot make me angry unless I accept your humiliation, your insult.
Ten years ago, I was not conscious; if somebody had insulted me, he would have lost his head immediately.
I had no idea that insulting me is his problem, and that I have nothing to do with it.
I can simply listen and go on my way."
-------------------------
I stopped being insane in 2009.
Bleed buckets on the floor.
I can only bleed if i am cut.
I have already observed and regard StepVeN's tactics are blunt and i've never been into self harm so i won't be cutting myself.
Whatever it takes to stop putting up your mind-shield to protect yourself. Let it all go...
Who stops putting up my mind shield, who let's it all go?
Oh...that would be me, i , my self. the vey thing you guys continue to fail to show me doesn't exist, but continue to confirm to me through your words that a self does exist.
And by fail i mean you give up.
Chance of a lifetime here. It could come again sometime, but since you never know....
But since you also never know, your declaration that it's a chance of a lifetime is merely a woeful salesperson's ploy pitched at the emotional level.
ie trying to induce fear by stating i may miss this once only opportunity.
Much love, even though it won't help a bit (and I really mean both of those things).
Lisa
Interesting, you regard love as a useless force.
And that you really mean both, that you love me much, but love is useless.