The Gate

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
From the age of about 2 when the ego starts to form, we are told we are the name we were given - Sarah or Tom, Manuela or Fritz - we start to believe we are something we are not. "Me Tom" from a 3 year-old becomes "I am Tom and I am a mechanical engineer" in adulthood. The layers that have built up in order to individuate are false =>suffering.

What are you looking for at LU?
I am offering my time as a guide to assist earnest seekers to see through the illusion of the separate self. I performed 55 years of self-enquiry and in 2012 had a dramatic energetic awakening directly into the emptiness of No-Self precipitated by decades of trauma and torment.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I would hope to show seekers that suffering is rooted in an idea that is false. In the idea that they ARE what they have constructed in terms of energetic scaffolding to be or become something in the world.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
Please see above. I was left completely without any understanding of what had happened, except that I had a shining clarity that remained within the now, and a brain that works entirely differently.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

Hi dear Selima! Welcome to the forum! Glad to connect here :)
Let me post your beautiful writing about what happened with you here. http://markedeternal.blogspot.mx/2017/0 ... g.html?m=1

Could you answer a few questions for us. First would be how do you see, is there a separate self, was it ever?
What is the illusion of I?
How would you describe it in your words from your experience.

Much love

Hello, dearest Ilona!

I am sorry I took time to find my way around the LU site! The joys of technology!

If my writing of what happened in my case can assist anybody in any way, that brings me great joy. Today, I see what is before my eyes as shapes and forms - moving, flowing, dancing, playing. Sound is also just that - sometimes birdsong, sometimes traffic noise, sometimes the wind. But the actual experience is without description, without labels, without interference of the mind. What is in front of me is a picture upon which I may gaze, all arising from something intangible that holds me within Itself in the forever present moment.

I have no need to do anything. To speak, to talk, to describe. I need nothing in this moment. It is perfect; no reflection on the past, no concern for the future. They don't exist. The body may go to the kitchen and make a cup of tea, the mind might write to Ilona on LU. There is no ownership, no judgement, nothing possessed. Problems in life are not seen as anything more than circumstances arising which may need attention. They are then immediately forgotten. Spirit is flowing slowly enough to be seen as matter, that's all. Matter moving through consciousness; spirit dancing slowly to manifest and accelerating to disappear. The Divine Cosmic Dance.

I see things often in 2D as they actually appear, aware that the brain will provide the 3rd D to prevent me from misjudging space. This moment cannot be altered as it is perfect.

There is no such thing as a separate self. What builds up from early infancy is an idea of who we are told we are, which then develops and refines further ideas to substantiate this first false idea. This forms a collective enmeshed network of pulsating, vibrational sensations which we can call a sense of self, the referral, synaptic mechanism, which is completely false because it is based on an entirely invalid belief.

This fake armour (also known as the I) distorts the world that we perceive and causes great suffering because deep within our beings we know we are living an untruth, and in searching to find ourselves or God, we are actually attempting to rid ourselves of accumulated debris - attracted by the false notion of an I. In its desperately fragile existence (because it is unreal), the I will manifest every kind of drama conceivable to man to validate itself, to feed itself, to maintain control. The grip of this invader is so strong, it ruins lives and prevents true happiness.

In my experience as I have described, the dropping of my sense of self, the last vestiges of who I thought I was, was extremely physically and mentally dramatic because I was unprepared after years of great challenge. I did not know what had happened until it was all over - something which took almost 5 years. Never would I wish such an experience on anybody, particularly if there are familial responsibilities and duties.

It is with great respect and love that I offer any insights to seeing through the mist of confusion caused by the illusory self to anybody sincerely seeking their wholeness and return to who they really are.

Only love,
Selima