The Gate

What brings you to Liberation Unleashed?:
I 'woke up' at the age of 28 in 2008. Since then, I have been committed to my spiritual path and journey. I am in an interesting space at the moment and a friend referred me to Liberation Unleashed as an avenue to explore on my path.

What are you looking for? What do you expect from this?:
I have no expectations. I have a good sense of my potential contribution in this lifetime and I sense that joining this Forum will aid me in fulfilling my Divine life purpose.

What is your background in terms of seeking and inquiry?:
I first started to wake-up through yoga. Then I participated in the entire Landmark Education Curriculm, which brought much transformation to my mind. After Landmark I started to have spiritual experiences. I have had several experiences in the past where the Universe showed me that there is no separation between myself and everyone/everything else.
After Landmark, I found Vipassana meditation (taught my Goenka) and have been practicing regularly for the past 5-6 years.

I also found an energy-healing technique called Access Consciousness, which transformed my relationship to energy. Since receiving and teaching this modality, I began to see internal visions, had stronger insights and have experienced 'bends' in my reality.

Recently I learned and studied Past-Life Regression. Hypnosis has also allowed me to experience internal visions.

How ready are you to question your beliefs about who you are and see the truth no matter what? On a scale from one to ten (ten being most ready). : 10

Hi,
my name is Lawrence, and I can be your guide to help you, if you wish.
Firstly I would like to have a name that you like to be called as we would find it a more naturel conversation to flow from both directions.
Secondly I would ask you to refrain from all other practises till this processis over because the more you relax into this the easier and more natuteral the process will be.
Finally I would ask you to respondonce at least once a day and I will endeavour to do the same.

Clarification

I have been committed to my spiritual path and journey

I have a good sense of my potential contribution in this lifetime and I sense that joining this Forum will aid me in fulfilling my Divine life purpose.

There are one or two points to consider in your opening statement and I refer you to START HERE Posts.
Specifically
The method of inquiry used on this site may actually work, unlike many spiritual practices. It will likely change how you regard your self, your relationships, and your world. Neither you nor we can predict how this will turn out for you.

Enter into this process if you are ready and willing to question all your beliefs and assumptions about awakening, if you are ready to face your fears, and if you prefer truth to comfortable lies. Do not enter if your goal is to fix the parts of your life that you think are broken, to embark on a self-improvement project, or to gain some kind of spiritual certification. Spiritual tourists will be taken to the the airlock and launched into deep space.
i.e
The result could meen a loss of everything the processes above

Before entering this process you need to be prepared to lose any sense of

fulfilling any Devine life purpose.

All you will find is the truth WHATEVER the cost.

Please consider in your own time. There is no time limit.

Regards
Lawrence

Hi Lawrence,

My name is Keri.
That's fine, I can give up my sense of having a Divine Life Purpose.

ill take the Truth, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. I want the truth.

I will respond once a day.

Hi Kert
Lovely
Just so I know a little bit more about you , I live on the south coast of England. It would feel good to get agood connection to know where you are writing from.

OK
let us crack on

I 'woke up' at the age of 28 in 2008.

Can you give me more details on this so to understand the experience described
Give as much detail as you can even if it seems to make no sense

I have no expectations.
I have a good sense of my
I first started to wake-up through yoga.
I have had several experiences in the past where the Universe showed me

As you can see I have higfhlited some of the many "I"s that you have written about. There are many "I"s in your statement
1)Can you tell about this "I" ?
2)Tell me where this "I" is located ?
3)Who is this "I" ?
4)What is "I" ?

Forget perconceptions , everything you have assumed
Don't think it. Just look
The more you LOOK, the easier it will flow

Go into as much detail as you like, again,even if it makes no sense once you write it down.
There is no wrong answer. This is about your experience of looking. You can only experience what you experience while you are LOOKING
Regards
Lawrence

Hi Lawrence,

At the moment I'm writing to you where the land and sea meet, from the very eastern tip of Hawaii island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Before the age of 28, I had no sense of God, or a higher consciousness. I was not able to witness any thoughts, in fact there were too many thoughts occurring at once inside of my head to even know what I was thinking at any given moment. I experienced a high level of anxiety in my body and mind, which resulted in panic attacks, and taking actions that would result in pleasing others or to prove that I was good enough, with no little sense of what was my Truth. I wasn't present, and when people would talk, instead of listening to them I was thinking about how to respond to what they said.
And then my experience of reality shifted after practicing yoga. I was able to start witnessing my thoughts and actions. I started to become more present. Instead of constantly analyzing myself and my life, I started having insights about reality. I remember feeling like I was a character in a movie and understanding that my conscious choices were creating each scene of the movie...that was the beginning of several experiences where I have seen past the illusions of this reality.

Regarding the "I": this feels like my "Lower consciousness"...the one that doesn't always remember that there is no I, no me, no my.

The I is the ego that separated itself from God. Yes, it doesn't exist...and yet we're made to feel like "i" is the only thing that matters.

The "I" makes me sad. It feels like the broken piece of existence. The Cosmic Joke.

So what's authentically there for me is a question: how does one exist in a state where they are not attached to "I" and still exist in this reality? How do you live the Truth and pay the bills or overcome feelings like Fear? How do you operate without the "I" amidst so many people who don't understand "I" doesn't exist?

I'm afraid to drop my attachment to the "I" even though a part of me knows this IS TRUE liberation...
What would my parents say if I stopped living a "normal" life? How would I handle it if someone wanted to induce violence on me?
What if I ended up homeless and living on the beach? What if people would think I'm crazy?

I was raised Jewish and am not identified with a religion, but I keep thinking about Jesus. Maybe he lived an existence of no-I. And look what happened to him, he was stoned to death! There's that fear again...I'm afraid of being killed. Afraid to disappoint my parents, who find so much joy and meaning in my existence.

I feel sad by this looking.

Hi Kert
Thanks for telling me your past experience. This helps to form a picture of how you got to this forum. Your past experiences seem to have been very spiritual and certainly have had flashes of self-realisation. The truth is really simple. Do not expect to relive some divinity of great flashing signals in the sky or mind that will explode within you as some warm conduit into some imaginary higher plane it is just ordinary. It is just about SEEING the world as it really is.

These questions after that I posed requires Looking NOT thinking. I will explain the difference. If I held an apple behind you and asked you what an apple looks like you could think about the answer and describe it from memory.That is thinking. Looking means turning around and seeing the apple and describing exactly what you see here now today. What you have replied is thinking not looking.

1)

1)Can you tell about this "I" ?

"I"is the ego that separated itself from God.

Is there any difference between "I" and ego.
2)

Yes, it doesn't exist...and yet we're made to feel like "i" is the only thing that matters

If "I" does not exist who is there to feel that anything matters ?
3)

The "I" makes me sad.

What is the difference between "I" and "me"?
4)

It feels like the broken piece of existence.

This is mind candy. How is this looking ?
5)

I'm afraid to drop my attachment to the "I"

What is there to be afraid of as you say it does not exist. How can you be afraid of something that does not exist ?

So what's authentically there for me is a question:...

Again last three paragraphs help to see again where you are thinking and I thank you for your time and trouble for sharing, but you are slipping from the line of enquiry. This is about LOOKING and following the line of enquiry.

6)Tell me where the "I" or ego is located.
Can you find it ?
Tell me ONLY where it is.

Now read this till the end first and again you to look and not think.
This time close you eyes. Look, don't think, through those closed eyes. Concentrate on looking. Forget all thoughts. Just look. Notice what is happening in your experience through those closed eyes. Relax into it. When you do this you will see just darkness, maybe will flashes of lights dotted here and there. You will notice sounds passing through, you will notice where your body is in contact with the earth or chair. Read this several times untill you understand the process. Don't think, just follow. If you follow this proceedure as described automatically you will notice that there are no boundries to what you notice, because there are no boundries here. The deeper you look, the longer you look, the more you will fall into the awareness of boundlessness Do this as often as you can for as long as you can.Enjoy it, because it is an enjoyable process. Soon you will notice that all is just a boundless awareness. As it is boundless , how can there be anyone looking , because if it is boundless so who is there to look. A boundless awareness. The longer you do this the more you will notice this. Just keep looking. Don't think.
Open your eyes and this time just look through open eyes. There are colour shap and form added and as you look there are no boundaries, through open eyes. Just look and listen experience, a boundless awareness. Eyes open, eyes closed both boundless awareness. There cannot be two boundless awarnesses. So it is one boundless awareness. Then ask yourself the following questions
7)Where is "I"
8)Who am "I"
9)What am "I"?

There are 7 questions here and may take you some time to answer. You do not have to respond to them all within the day. Take your time and experience the questions. DONT THINK. LOOK


Regards
Lawrenec

.

I am looking at your last three paragraphs again Kert and I seem to have skirted over your fear in favour of the looking process.

how does one exist in a state where they are not attached to "I" and still exist in this reality?

We are questioning what is reality here. No one can say what will happen when you let go except to say there will be support, but no-one can guarantee you will not want to let go of everything...it happens

I'm afraid to drop my attachment to the "I" even though a part of me knows this IS TRUE liberation..

again if there is no "I" who or what can be attatched to "I"

What would my parents say if I stopped living a "normal" life? How would I handle it if someone wanted to induce violence on me?
What if I ended up homeless and living on the beach? What if people would think I'm crazy?
How do you live the Truth and pay the bills or overcome feelings like Fear?
How do you operate without the "I" amidst so many people who don't understand "I" doesn't exist?

We all approach this matter in different ways. I do not worry about other people and only talk to those who know or are prepared to listen. Who can say how we will end up. Most are working living a normal working life and keep quiet about this truth. Fears are thoughts, just thoughts. They come and go.

I was raised Jewish and am not identified with a religion, but I keep thinking about Jesus. Maybe he lived an existence of no-I. And look what happened to him, he was stoned to death! There's that fear again...I'm afraid of being killed. Afraid to disappoint my parents, who find so much joy and meaning in my existence.

I was raised Jewish too - who knows about Jesus, but where do you get the notion he was stoned to death ? As to the rest you need to resolve them with a councellor or within yourself. There are no answers here.

I feel sad by this looking

This process is about locating the "I" and seeing it for what it is. Sadness are just thoughts that come and go.

I caution you to look again at the START HERE specifically
Our guides are not therapists and cannot take responsibility for your mental health, before or after. If your relationships are unsatisfactory, they may improve, or they may not. If you have strong religious or spiritual beliefs, direct experience may support them, or (in our experience) not. You are at all times responsible for your honesty, integrity and focus. A leap into the unknown is just that. We will do everything we can to support it, insofar as we are volunteers working online, with attendant limitations.

Perhaps you need to step back from this process until you have fully considered this

Regards
Lawrence

However if you are happy to carry on we can talk further about fears and perhaps focus on any sensation of fear as it may be experienced bodily in tandem to the practical Looking , I have asked you to do.

Hi Lawrence,

I practiced the exercise you gave me many times since you sent it.

...and when I look, I can't find an "I" or "me".
When I look, I notice only awareness / consciousness. Only awareness -- inward when I close my eyes or notice sensations in or on my body, and outward when my eyes are open.

So there is no I...not when I drive my car, or brush my teeth, or talk to my boyfriend or even write this message. There is only consciousness, only awareness.

When you first posed the questions "what is I", "where is I" and I looked I thought maybe "I" is my thoughts, that "I" lives in my head.

But thoughts are a part of awareness too. "I" am not thinking the thoughts. Awareness is that thoughts are happening, amidst the boundlessness of awareness that you spoke of.

Thank you for gifting me this exercise. Every now and again throughout my day I have been asking myself "where is the "I" that is (and then I fill in the blank with whatever Is happening). When this happens, my experience shifts into observer mode. Consciousness is present. It's wonderful.

P.s. There is no more fear, it passed.

Wow, Keri ( apologise I seem to have called you Kert... the writing here is small and my eyes are not too young !)you are doing great and glad to learn the fear has dropped. If it arrises again we can talk about it further.
Looking at the two statements below you are letting thinking slipping in over looking

When you first posed the questions "what is I", "where is I" and I looked I thought maybe "I" is my thoughts, that "I" lives in my head.

So you looked and saw that thoughts were "I". Lets forget where they are at the moment, because you then allowed thinking to come in and deny what you saw.

But thoughts are a part of awareness too. "I" am not thinking the thoughts. Awareness is that thoughts are happening, amidst the boundlessness of awareness that you spoke of.

Thank you for gifting me this exercise. Every now and again throughout my day I have been asking myself "where is the "I" that is (and then I fill in the blank with whatever Is happening). When this happens, my experience shifts into observer mode. Consciousness is present. It's wonderful.

You experience that "conciousness is present" by looking. I assume you mean equally that "awareness is present" as I do not see adifference, unless you say so. If something is boundless awareness where does "I" fit in it anywhere. You looked and saw the "I" was a thought. You looked and became aware of conciousness or awareness being present. Then you thought about it and decided to fit in the "I" somewhere.
This is the "I" fighting its corner, resisting.
Imagine you are holding a spoon. Imagine form , size, weght. temperature. Keep it there, close you eyes and feel the imaginary spoon. Open you eyes. Is there a spoon there in real life ? So how did you see there is no spoon? What happened to the spoon. Did it disappear or it nevcer existed. Could it ever be part of awareness orconciousness ?

Regards
Lawrence

Hi Lawrence,

Actually when I look, my thoughts aren't "I". When I look, they are just another form of awareness.

The thinking part of me concluded thoughts are "I". When I look, thoughts are consciousness too, they are not "I"

I am using the words consciousness & awareness interchangeably.

Regarding the spoon exercise:
The spoon doesn't exist in my reality. It does exist in my awareness though. So what is the difference between "reality" and "consciousness"?

With Gratitude,
Keri

Hi Keri.

Actually when I look, my thoughts aren't "I". When I look, they are just another form of awareness.

Imagine its Christmas and Santa Clause comes to mind. Are you aware of Santa Clause or is he just a thought ?

T

he spoon doesn't exist in my reality. It does exist in my awareness though. So what is the difference between "reality" and "consciousness"?

Reality is that which is real. Conciousness is a state of being conscious.

Here you are using awareness in a different sense. You are saying that your are aware of the thought of a spoon, but that does not make it come into existance. It remains a thought doesn't it ?

Hi Keri
How are you doing with my question. I have been re-reading and think that there is a problem with the word awareness in that it has too many meanings. This process is about Looking. Let us swope Awareness to just Looking and my point may be clearer

You are so there I want to encourage you to follow through

So let me corrupt the last two statements that I quoted

Actually when I look, my thoughts aren't "I". When I look, they are just another form of LOOKING.

Fine

The spoon doesn't exist in my reality. It does exist in my LOOKING though.

So the spoon does not exist in your reality because when you look it is not there, is it ?

Does this clarify ?

Best
Lawrence