THE JOURNEY IS NOT MINE

[Orez]

Greetings,

I started self-inquiry some 25 years ago. Then in the 90’s I would get up every morning at 5am to repeat “Who Am I?” over and over like a mantra. Not ultimately useful. Relaxing maybe.

Then, after many years of that I found a group retreat setting with a structured format for self-inquiry. That was extremely helpful.

With a simple process, the mind got corralled and quiet during just one three day weekend. More quiet than ever before. The most incredible weekend in my life.
I am you!! OMG, I am you!! Disbelief while knowing it’s absolutely true. Regardless of the appearance, it’s True!! Breakthrough! Elation and Joy!!
For the first time in my life, I felt truly happy. Truly!! Then more later… I Am Everything!! Incredible!! No separation any where, any time. Never separate.
I AM one with everything and everyone!! Absolute Bliss!!

I wanted to help. I wanted to support others to discover this same thing. So, I became a leader. I helped others in beautiful retreat settings stay focused on self. Keep bringing them back. Helpful to them and helpful to me. But, that of course also helps entrench the sense of self. “I am helping others see through the lie of separation.” More false identification. “Look at me, I am a leader.” Blah, blah, blah. Helping others truly happens when “I” get out of the way, then there is just helping.

About three years ago I was introduced to Jed. He burst my bubble. Where is this “me” or “I” that is one with everything? “Who is helping?” Jed did not ask this directly. But, Jed asked that I get quiet and find out what’s True, AGAIN. Absolute Truth. Damn!! Sit down, shut up and ask yourself what’s True until you know. Damn!!! There’s even more? Or, less? Damn!!

Months of soul searching to find no soul. No one here!! Not anyone here, ever. Damn!!
Depression…. Emptiness…. Nothing…. There is no one here to be one with everything.
There is no one here to be one with everybody. No one to be anything at all. No one present.
No one ever existing here. Seems like someone. Nope! Nothing. Zero. Zilch!! Damn!!!!!

A recognition comes that the pure unseen silent emptiness cognizes all objects and mistakenly identifies with those objects, especially a body, and then needlessly suffers due to the false identification. What a joke!!

What ever is seen or sensed in any way can only be an object to that which truly is. It’s a very simple test really. If a thing can be an object of attention then that object can not ever be what truly IS, but only an appearance. That’s exactly why Truth cannot be known! If a thing is known, it cannot ever be Truth! The Truth is looking but cannot be seen. As one wiser than me stated, “We are looking for that which is looking.” Which of course is not ever a me or I, because no such thing as me or I exists EXCEPT as an apparent object, a concept. My worst fears have been confirmed!! Gratefully!!!!

And, we all have to go through the gate alone. Support can be very helpful up to the gate, and then it’s a solo step to go through. No one can do it for us. Stepping through alone; it’s the only way.

It's nice to be here with all of you.

With Love and Gratitude, I support you all.

[Kali]

Orez

I want to say that I really enjoyed reading the unfolding as it happened for you.
True, ultimately we need to see and check for ourselves and no one can make us see thrue our illusions of self.
It seems to me that we may come from different paths and illusions, but at some point we are just right at the gate with the illusory ""I" wanting to know how to get through, and is the blessing of a site like this one that gives us the final nudge to dissolve it all.

Awesome!
Kali

[Life]

And a very warm welcome orez!

Love this bit: ''There is no one here to be everything'' That is it right there! To finnish it of wanna add, no one here to be everything... Just everything.

[Ilona]

Orez, it's an absolute pleasure to have you here. What colour do you claim, blue or red? If red, please write in detail about the experience with helping others through the gate.

Even though there is no one here. ;)

[No_One]

Welcome orez. Really cool to see people with that level of clarity around. Nice to have you here ...

[Damon Kamda]

Welcome to LU, Orez.