Partially there maybe? Looking for a guide
Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2014 12:43 am
Hi, I'm Jayson and looking for a guide to help me identify and go past what I am hung up on.
Here are some of the things I have seen so far:
1. Intellectually, I see no self, experientially however, it still feels like things are happening to a separate me.
2. Occasionally I feel a veil dropped and there is just this happening, usually only lasts a short period of time before the I gets reconstructed.
3. Many times I see my body had completed actions with no thought to do so and no decision to do so: walking, grabbing a sip of water, moving body parts for which I can only explain afterwards that it was uncomfortable.
4. My thoughts can't be the controller of my actions and I see clearly I can't even begin to think I control my thoughts
5. Most of the time it still feels like there is a witness of all these happenings, although if I inspect it closely it just seems to be happening. As soon as I stop the witness concept comes back.
6. Sometimes I see everything as a happening and sometimes I see separate people and things out there to piss me off.
Expectations I am thinking this might give me:
1. Seeing through the illusion of self fully, as well as feelings of why is this happening to me. Not getting caught back up in the illusion of an I.
2. Knowing that bad experiences and emotions will still arise, but not getting sucked back into the dream of a self during this. I know I will still get angry, depressed, irritated, in pain, happy, sad, but to not have those states revert me right back into the dream which I feel I've caught a few glimpses of not being real.
Thanks in advance to all
Here are some of the things I have seen so far:
1. Intellectually, I see no self, experientially however, it still feels like things are happening to a separate me.
2. Occasionally I feel a veil dropped and there is just this happening, usually only lasts a short period of time before the I gets reconstructed.
3. Many times I see my body had completed actions with no thought to do so and no decision to do so: walking, grabbing a sip of water, moving body parts for which I can only explain afterwards that it was uncomfortable.
4. My thoughts can't be the controller of my actions and I see clearly I can't even begin to think I control my thoughts
5. Most of the time it still feels like there is a witness of all these happenings, although if I inspect it closely it just seems to be happening. As soon as I stop the witness concept comes back.
6. Sometimes I see everything as a happening and sometimes I see separate people and things out there to piss me off.
Expectations I am thinking this might give me:
1. Seeing through the illusion of self fully, as well as feelings of why is this happening to me. Not getting caught back up in the illusion of an I.
2. Knowing that bad experiences and emotions will still arise, but not getting sucked back into the dream of a self during this. I know I will still get angry, depressed, irritated, in pain, happy, sad, but to not have those states revert me right back into the dream which I feel I've caught a few glimpses of not being real.
Thanks in advance to all