The Gate

Hi there,

I am looking for a guide to help me see clearly and truly. My interest lies in knowing the Truth.

The mind is generally quite clear.

Many thanks,

John

Hi John, welcome.

What are your expectations about seeing that the I is an illusion?

To live in the truth, free from psychological suffering.

Expectations would be a subtle, final shift of perspective to the realisation of the illusion.

Perhaps another way to put it would be to experience life completely non-conceptually. Directly, in the flow, without fear.

What do you fear now?

I think I used that more as a turn of phrase. I'm finding it difficult to say with any certainty that there is anything I fear. I do feel tired of seeking though. I want to be at rest.

I feel like I fluctuate. Sometimes I'm in the story, sometimes I'm not. I find it annoying and frustrating. I would love it if you could help me see through? I feel quite desperate, exhausted somehow.

What are you when you are not the story?
How does this feel?

It feels light. I get it quite often in conversation with other truth-seekers. It is a sense of everything carrying on but without the element of personal ownership. As if I am watching things rather than directing. It feels natural, the most natural.

Sorry, I didn't answer what am I at those times. I would have to say I do not know. I am but I don't know what I am.

Is this I AM a state that is coming and going?
Is there the feeling to be a silent Witness?

It would probably be truer to say that the sense I AM is always here but sometimes gets obscured by association with thoughts and emotions. Yes there is sometimes this sense of being a silent witness.

Taste something sweet:
While tasting is there a witness present in the tastebuds or does this tasting happens by itself?
Do you see the labeling thoughts like ‘sweet’, ‘I like this’, ‘more of this’, coming after the tasting?

I am trying to do it slowly and see what happens. (A great excuse to eat more sweets).

I feel the sensation of a sweet in my mouth, I crunch it with my teeth, I sense a taste perception (it happens to be chocolately) and I recognise the taste.

From what I can observe there does not seem to be any commentary or labeling happening.

But I think there is a low-level sense that 'I am experiencing this sweet'.

I've realised what I'm afraid of. That if I really look honestly, I'll be disappointed at what I find, or that it won't be what I'm looking for. I have been afraid to be completely honest in case of disappointment. A kind of self-protective measure.