The Gate

Hello,

My name is Anabel Martin and I am looking for some guidance please.
since the age of 5 I have been wondering, what is this all about?. The questioning never stopped, even when I tried to stop.The wonder of it all is too powerful and in my face to ignore.
What is the real nature of my self? Even though I know interlletually, I don't really know.
A few times I have experienced that nobody is really here, before I even ever read about it. This scared me ,I thought I was going mad.But this nobody/nothing here never stayed. I went back to the illusion of my self as only this body with a soul.
At the moment all that is happening are shifts of awarness and moments where for no reason what so ever, there is a wide opening and I am not me anymore but consumed by every thing, which I can descibe as Love& peace and it feels that I am this. But it don't last.
So, I would like to really see the illusion of my self and drop it.
thank you.

kind regards
Anabel

Hello Anabel,

A warm welcome to LU.

Really enjoyed reading your post - it feels to me that you have seen a great deal.

I'd be happy to be your guide if you wish to work together.

There are a few agreements that really support the inquiry:

1. We both agree to post at least once a day - even if just to say we can't make it.
2. We take a break from any other spiritual practices for the duration of working together.

Let me know if you are committed to these agreements and would like me to be your guide.

With best wishes,
John

Hello,
My name is Anabel Martin and I am looking for some guidance please.
since the age of 5 I have been wondering, what is this all about?. The questioning never stopped, even when I tried to stop.The wonder of it all is too powerful and in my face to ignore.
What is the real nature of my self? Even though I know interlletually, I don't really know.
A few times I have experienced that nobody is really here, before I even ever read about it. This scared me ,I thought I was going mad.But this nobody/nothing here never stayed. I went back to the illusion of my self as only this body with a soul.
At the moment all that is happening are shifts of awarness and moments where for no reason what so ever, there is a wide opening and I am not me anymore but consumed by every thing, which I can descibe as Love& peace and it feels that I am this. But it don't last.
So, I would like to really see the illusion of my self and drop it.
thank you.

kind regards
Anabel

Hi John

Thank you, I would very much like you to be my guide:)

1. yes, I agree to post every day
2.I have recently moved away from other spiritual practices.

Kind regards
Anabel

Hi Anabel,

Hi John

Thank you, I would very much like you to be my guide:)

1. yes, I agree to post every day
2.I have recently moved away from other spiritual practices.

Kind regards
Anabel

Great! :)

So, tell me about your experience of your "self" right now.

Is it a feeling/sensation? An idea? A habit? Is there a judgement of like/dislike/neutral of the "self"?
On a scale 0f 1-100 with 1 being "self is a complete fiction and not me" and 100 being "it is real and it IS me", where would you be right now on that scale?

Write as much as you like. :)

With best wishes,
John

Hi ,

I experience my "self" right now as a sensation. I seem to sense everything.

I clearly see how I judge my "self" , it hurts but also it is astonishing and liberating. I also like my self :]
On the scale right now I would be 30.

Thank you

Aanbel

Hi Anabel,

Hi ,

I experience my "self" right now as a sensation. I seem to sense everything.

I clearly see how I judge my "self" , it hurts but also it is astonishing and liberating. I also like my self :]
On the scale right now I would be 30.

Thank you

Aanbel

Let's focus on the sensation. Sit with it, allow it. As you do, sitting with it, notice how it's been named "self". Notice how the label "self" chimes with the sensation.

Notice also that there another hidden notion. This notion is that the sensation + label "self" is you.

Become aware of this assumption.

Notice how the sensation + the label "me" + the notion that "this is me" work together to form an expression of the "I".

NOW...

Put the assumption to one side. Allow the sensation + label "me" to stay, but without the assumption.

Sit with that for 5/10 minutes. Allow space for it to exist AND not to be you.

Feel the space in and around.

Have a play...and share what you notice.

With kind thanks,
John

Hi John.

I have noticed that there is no separation .Sensation,me,self,in and around is the same. boundless !

many thank yous ;)
Anabel

Hi Anabel,

Hi John.

I have noticed that there is no separation .Sensation,me,self,in and around is the same. boundless !

many thank yous ;)
Anabel

Nice.

Is there any resistance left that wants to keep hold of the separate self of "Anabel"?

Best wishes,
John

Hello

No there is no resistance.

Kind regards

Anabel

Hi Anabel,

Hello

No there is no resistance.

Kind regards

Anabel

Cool. :) So where are you on the scale right now?

So, I would like to really see the illusion of my self and drop it.

Have you seen it?

Best wishes,
John

Well it looks like I am on 1, Lol

What I have seen is so simple, It was like "Wow" And "oh, Yes of course" the more I sat there I noticed that this is completely empty but full and then I realised that everything is in perfect order just as it is . It is just this! But I question this, how can it be just this so simple.
I felt something fall away when it was seen but my ego is still here( I think). Lol

Thank you John

Kind regards
Anabel

Hi Anabel,

Well it looks like I am on 1, Lol

What I have seen is so simple, It was like "Wow" And "oh, Yes of course" the more I sat there I noticed that this is completely empty but full and then I realised that everything is in perfect order just as it is . It is just this! But I question this, how can it be just this so simple.
I felt something fall away when it was seen but my ego is still here( I think). Lol

Thank you John

Kind regards
Anabel

LOL :) I'm sorry but that's far too simple. This work is complex and involved, requires struggle and heartache. How very dare you. :D

I felt something fall away when it was seen but my ego is still here( I think). Lol

Have a walk around Anabel - just seeing this, the sheer simplicity of it.

The ego is fine...in it's place. ;)

Have a wander and the come back and share.

With my best wishes,
John

Hiya John,

Well........Lol

Nothing has changed, walking is walking, doing is just doing. Things are as they are and perfect as they are. I have noticed that when I speak the sound comes from nowhere and disappears into nowhere( fascinating!), that is all. I am aware there is no separation from anything.When I look I see life but there are many emotions that come and go.

Kind regards
Anabel

Hi Anabel,

Hiya John,

Well........Lol

Nothing has changed, walking is walking, doing is just doing. Things are as they are and perfect as they are. I have noticed that when I speak the sound comes from nowhere and disappears into nowhere( fascinating!), that is all. I am aware there is no separation from anything.When I look I see life but there are many emotions that come and go.

Love the sound thing!

So, now, who is Anabel?

Where is Anabel?

What is Anabel? :)

With best wishes,
John

hiya,

Anabel is just a name. Lol


Anabel :D