The Gate

Hello everyone. Please call me Sylvia. Before going further, allow me to say for the last last 2 years, there were repeated occurrences, when speaking about myself, "I" made reference to "me" by writing "eye" and not "I". it didn't stop until consciously forcing myself at work, to focus. The more eye said "I", eye began to feel selfish, so eye adopted it as a sign to keep seeing and not fall asleep to illusions of this world again. Eye say that, so every one understand why it's used when typing.

It took me all day to finally create a thread when eye got home tonight, though eye registered this morning. eye can honestly say, for the first time in a while, eye felt fear. Eye have been seeking (not sure of what anymore) but still can't shake the feeling that there's more to life than this. and worst of all, now that eye feel eye have been getting the grasp of things, a little, that the rug will be pulled out from under me again.

the other day eye sat on my bed and asked something in me, be it an inner God, the Universe, etc., to please reveal something more to me on this journey. The next day a friend on my Youtube channel told me to check our your site. eye took that as a sign too.

When eye read the faqs and a few threads, it made me recall a man on another site ( 7 years ago or more) who used to host his own chat room and people could take the mic and chime in. His concept too was that "there is no me". my mind wasn't on a level to absorb that yet so the questions rattled in my head "no me? how come eye feel physical and emotional pain; why do eye awake to the same daily cycle of my life every day, the same people; feel the turmoil of the chaos of this life"? so of course eye moved on. He said lots of things that many years later, eye *now" can see. eye feel this one is one of them and though uncertain, eye feel eye must, before my frustrations with how things are going in this world, can no longer be bared.

eye would love nothing more than to have a guide. Thanks :)

Hi Sylvia! Welcome to Liberation Unleashed. Here we help people see through the illusion that there is a separate 'self' in reality, that lives life.

How we operate is I ask questions, and you respond with 100% honesty. We agree to check in every day, even if only to say 'I can't work today'.

If you agree, let's begin.

What do you expect/hope/wish will happen when you see through the illusion of self? What is supposed to happen?

Looking forward to your reply,
Nona

Hello Nona :) Thanks so much for the willingness to assist. Currently at work and was just taking a quick peek in. when some more idle moments come up, eye will respond and in the meantime, ponder your question.. Thank you again and agreed to the daily post.

Okay, back for now. what eye feel eye would like to experience is a sense of lifted frustration, confusion and have the ability to fully breathe. to let all false illusions - or as many as possible - fall away. it feels like many have already done so over the years but still more to go. in essence, eye want to find out what it is that eye am, if eye am if there is no me, then who/what am eye and what purpose is served by me being here, as often enough eye feel too much sorrow for the world and take things personal as far as what's going on currently, in the world.

what eye feel eye would like to experience is a sense of lifted frustration, confusion and have the ability to fully breathe

Have you had this experience previously? What is stopping you from having this experience now?

to let all false illusions - or as many as possible - fall away

The experience here is that 99.99% of gatecrashers come through the gate with their conditioned thoughts and behaviours intact. However, once 'self' is SEEn to be an illusion, the process of seeing through the illusion of other conditioned thoughts becomes simpler. Merely asking "Who is believing this?" can become a pointer for Looking at whether the illusion is true.

in essence, eye want to find out what it is that eye am, if eye am if there is no me, then who/what am eye and what purpose is served by me being here, as often enough eye feel too much sorrow for the world and take things personal as far as what's going on currently, in the world.

What we do here is point to the illusion that there is a separate self at all. We don't ask "who am I" because there is no 'who'; the question is meaningless. There is no 'you' to be anything at all.
Since there is no 'you' here at all, asking what purpose is served by 'you' being here is simply confusing. It's like dividing by zero: it is an invalid operation.
When you see there is no 'you', the world you believe you feel sorrow for is seen to be simply Life experiencing itself in different ways that we call 'others'—when we see through the illusion of a self living life, we also see the unity of life itself. With no 'you', it is seen that Life is entirely impersonal.

So I think we will be able to meet your expectations. If you notice another expectation, or desire, arises, please mention it. Expectations are the greatest block to SEEing through the illusion of self that there is.

SEEing through the illusion of self is simply a shift in perspective. You will have to LOOK with the eyes in your head; one cannot Think one's way to liberation.

While we chat, try not to read about these things. Your source, for the duration of our conversation, is your own honest investigation into what’s going on inside, your direct experience, and not anything in a book or on a website, no matter how profound.

Now we begin!
This is the simplest, most logical, most obvious truth—there is no such entity as self. There is no self at all, no nothing, but life flowing freely, all is one reality, one life. Life just IS.

Describe what thoughts and feelings come up when I tell you "There is no self at all in reality. No you that lives your life."
Watch, wait, notice, write—what comes up? Is there fear? Is there doubt? Resistance? Frustration? Or maybe there is wow, joy, relief?
Notice all that is going on inside and just put it down in writing here.

Cheers
Nona

Hi Nona and thanks for continuing on with this :) It is very appreciated.

You asked: "Have you had this experience previously? What is stopping you from having this experience now? "

Yes a few times eye have experienced it before when this realization came up and what's stopping it is denial that there is no me - equaling fear that eye don't exist and therefore don't have hold of the reigns of this experience

We don't ask "who am I" because there is no 'who'; the question is meaningless. There is no 'you' to be anything at all. Since there is no 'you' here at all, asking what purpose is served by 'you' being here is simply confusing. It's like dividing by zero: it is an invalid operation.

It's so simple seeing it laid out that way and even thoroughly understood. Part knows and part is stuck in what eye think is "my" head/brain that thinks eye am "me". The truth stares back but it's blurry.

When you see there is no 'you', the world you believe you feel sorrow for is seen to be simply Life experiencing itself in different ways that we call 'others'—when we see through the illusion of a self living life, we also see the unity of life itself. With no 'you', it is seen that Life is entirely impersonal

This is within reach. It's comes across as if it's "this life" being one of the billions of cells comprised of one organism (not sure if that was expressed as well as intended :)

Yes, eye will leave all outside sources out of this process other than honesty of what comes up from direct experience

Describe what thoughts and feelings come up when I tell you "There is no self at all in reality. No you that lives your life."
Watch, wait, notice, write—what comes up? Is there fear? Is there doubt? Resistance? Frustration? Or maybe there is wow, joy, relief?
Notice all that is going on inside and just put it down in writing here.

Would it seem bizarre if eye were to say all eye felt all these things? a "battle" if it makes sense. it feels like life would become a little boring if eye realize there is no me to have a "mind" that had nothing to do. it may sound stupid but it's what came up. The sadness is there too. Lastly, a feeling of wonderment of how to refer to the life in this body in general conversation with others, without referring as the one speaking without saying "me" or "I" without feeling it will drag this one back into those thoughts of existing again.

Thank you for all the time Nona and eye am really pushing hard to do this - this time around and it's my wish that you will bare with. It's time to shut down the pc for now. back tomorrow (:

Regards
Sylvia

P.S. forgive any typos please, if there are any. the eyes have worked on the computer at work, far too long today and are aching to "not" proof read at the moment lol good night

Good day to you Nona :)

Sorry to post back to back before your return but some thoughts and more feelings came up that want to get chronicled while still fresh. Eye will not do this again if it causes a problem of being too much to soon.

Something relatable to this truth of "no me" popped up as thoughts today when thinking about a 3D game eye play sometimes when bored (the thought of this game is not an outside idea/theory/etc) but something that eye think assisted with connecting the dots. eye thought of my 3D avatar/character in this 3D world that "this body" controls when playing. this female avatar/character is not real and only sees and does what "this body" directs her character to do, say or see in the game when interacting with others of the human experience that control their avatars in the same 3D interactive community. it kinda slapped the hell out of me that this also might be mirroring back to "me", "my own" experience. And nutty as it may sound, thoughts went to.... if even the pixelated avatar thinks it's real and doesn't realize it is only a character as well when eye program it to do what eye want.

then thoughts about this one's exhaustion of searching, seeking, all these years and how fun and exciting it was to be on a quest for this mystery and revelation, in the beginning, while others around me were stuck in the material things of the world, but now it feels like that of a dog chasing its’ own tail.

more fears and feelings that popped up are that "this one's" non-existence means eye am not unique, eye am not special because there is no "me" - only the body which suddenly feels like a vehicle only. it feels like the life in this body is only a figment of some thing or someone elses imagination.

Eye feel eye get it but eye just don't "feel" it in my gut yet. it's that type of knot in my stomach this body feels when a loved one passes away and the knot holds one together from falling apart and facing the pain. there are still many questions that desire clarification but they are on the back burner for now. eye get too excited sometimes lol look forward to hearing from you. Much love.

Namaste

Hi Sylvia,

I apologise for not getting back to you right away! Your responses had me smiling and I wanted to take time with them. It seems you did some really deep LOOKing in my absence! I'm so excited that you are Burning! Please post whenever you have something to say!!

it kinda slapped the hell out of me that this also might be mirroring back to "me", "my own" experience. And nutty as it may sound, thoughts went to.... if even the pixelated avatar thinks it's real and doesn't realize it is only a character as well when eye program it to do what eye want.

YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! Not nutty at all; you are LOOKing. Please say more. Do you notice that Sylvia is also only a role-play character? How does that work? Is there anything directing that character to do, say or see in Life? Is there a Programmer of Sylvia?

searching, seeking, ... now it feels like that of a dog chasing its’ own tail.

Indeed! What we are searching for is so obvious that we overlook it. This is the cosmic joke!

"this one's" non-existence means eye am not unique, eye am not special because there is no "me"

That's right. Is this realisation fearful?

it feels like the life in this body is only a figment of some thing or someone elses imagination.

Check it—is there something that is imagining Sylvia? Or is Sylvia just happening? If something is "felt", does that mean it's true/real?

Would it seem bizarre if eye were to say all eye felt all these things? a "battle" if it makes sense. it feels like life would become a little boring if eye realize there is no me to have a "mind" that had nothing to do. it may sound stupid but it's what came up. The sadness is there too. Lastly, a feeling of wonderment of how to refer to the life in this body in general conversation with others, without referring as the one speaking without saying "me" or "I" without feeling it will drag this one back into those thoughts of existing again.

You don't need to qualify what you write; it's not bizarre or stupid or nutty. I'm not judging what you write, so do continue to simply be honest.
Yes, all those feelings can be present, and it can certainly seem like a "battle"!
Life would become boring without a 'me'? Are you sure? Here it's noticed that Life is more surprising! Without any direction or control from 'me', there's no expectation of cause—>effect. I never know what's going to happen next!
Mind does not disappear; mind is a collection of thoughts that simply arise.
Does the sadness have a message for you? Ask it what it wants you to know.
As for language, it is seen that these labels "I", "me", "you", are empty; you will notice I use these in writing to you. They are merely conventions that make it possible for us to communicate. And any time self-ing is experienced, one need only LOOK again to notice there is no self and never was.

How is it going today?
So excited for you,
love
Nona

Hello Nona! Willing that the day was great for you.
No apologies needed here. Just so glad you keep returning lol
Just wanted to drop in for now and read your response. Eye will mull all this over tonight and partly tomorrow and get back to you then with what comes up. Your response made me smile too because it encourages that eye might be on the right track, if only a little :D

Eye will share this tho: it’s been very interesting interacting with “others” face to face of the bodies – eye to eye and over the phone the past 2 days. In the physical, they must think it strange how the eyes have been “seeing” *others* with quizzical looks and as if these hands just wanted to reach out and touch in a new way but eye know better, especially in NY (laughs) but seriously when “others” speak to me now in the physical or on the phone - the ears hear, but the thoughts are, “is this life talking to itself? Does it realize it is? Let’s say if – per chance - there was a me, it would be me, talking to myself, thinking eye am separate from the other”?

So yes, eye looked quite lost wandering around to and from work and on lunch break, like a tourist in a new town (:

Many thanks again, Nona, for assisting me in peeling back the layers. Eye cannot express how much it means! A pleasant evening and sweet dreams to you.

Much Love!
Sylvia (Namaste)

“is this life talking to itself? Does it realize it is? Let’s say if – per chance - there was a me, it would be me, talking to myself, thinking eye am separate from the other”?

Great questions!!! So LOOK! When talking is happening, is there anything separate from Life doing the talking?
:-)

Do you notice that Sylvia is also only a role-play character? How does that work? Is there anything directing that character to do, say or see in Life? Is there a Programmer of Sylvia?

Yes eye noticed it after making the analogy with the 3D avatar. Not sure how it works yet but the thoughts arising are that it’s like one entity/thing controlling “me” and all “others” at the same time - sorta like one puppeteer, unlike the many different controllers in the 3D world

That's right. Is this realisation fearful?

is there something that is imagining Sylvia? Or is Sylvia just happening? If something is "felt", does that mean it's true/real?

Yes it’s a little fearful, because the “mind” rather liked being unique and special in one’s own way, as “my” thoughts were that we all are. It makes “me” feel that eye don’t matter - Yet there is no me to have those feelings so it means it’s not real (blah *hitting up against the wall there a bit*) Anger arises too, as imagined feelings of - “being used bye *life*” surface :/

Check it—is there something that is imagining Sylvia? Or is Sylvia just happening? If something is "felt", does that mean it's true/real?

Sylvia is just part of the cycle of life, so she is just “happening” but the awareness is not clear if her life is just happening because of some thing/entity/energy imagining her or not. And eye would have to say no to “if something is felt does it mean it’s true/real” - because there’s no me to feel it

Yes, all those feelings can be present, and it can certainly seem like a "battle"!

Yes it does! What thinks it’s my mind, truly wants to hold on to the illusion that it runs itself. It’s been deeply indoctrinated over a long period of time. My wish is that it won’t take nearly that long to undo that.

Life would become boring without a 'me'? Are you sure? Here it's noticed that Life is more surprising! Without any direction or control from 'me', there's no expectation of cause—>effect. I never know what's going to happen next!

No, eye am not sure. What you described as your experience is a taste of what eye have been hungering to experience! Spontaneity of life!....to just let it flow. There will be no satisfaction until eye do!

Mind does not disappear; mind is a collection of thoughts that simply arise.
Does the sadness have a message for you? Ask it what it wants you to know.
As for language, it is seen that these labels "I", "me", "you", are empty; you will notice I use these in writing to you. They are merely conventions that make it possible for us to communicate. And any time self-ing is experienced, one need only LOOK again to notice there is no self and never was.

It’s a relief to learn that the mind is just playing out its’ intended role, because eye was beginning to think it was just “me” not knowing how to shut it off like “others” say they do/can when needed. Eye can stop hitting the head against the wall now regarding the mind chatter (: The sadness seems to say “it’s okay, you are not alone in this….”you” were not aware as your thoughts led you to believe” The thoughts of one-ness this “mind” thought it knew the meaning of, seems way off the mark now!

How is it going today?
So excited for you,

It’s a new adventure, only really stimulating this time around! Eye feel like a new born, feeling my way around this new experience – still crawling though 

Great questions!!! So LOOK! When talking is happening, is there anything separate from Life doing the talking?

No, nothing separate as all is one. Now the thought comes up that there’s no me so there’s no “you” that eye am talking to so this is life – yet again – talking to itself, trying to work things out.

Hoping not to drive “you” up the wall as eye go through this process. It does seem a little like that comedy skit “Who’s on First” when eye try to sort it out. Eye laugh inside or make little jokes outwardly, now and then but it’s just a nervous thing :p Be having a wonderful & peace-filled day Nona ((all love)) <3
Namaste

"Grimacing"! Expressing honesty is one thing but baring what "my" thoughts think is "my" soul - is not as easy a task as thought, to do it outwardly. However, since this is all about honestly sharing what comes up..... just now the biggest fearful thought that suddenly surfaced and made the stomach of the body clench, is that "the mind" now thinks that "I am" here (or nowhere) "all alone as life, since there is no me, nor any "others". not sure if that sounds like a tongue twister - or not expressed clearly as intended. but it kind of freaked "me" out for that thought to arise.

<3

it’s like one entity/thing controlling “me” and all “others” at the same time - sorta like one puppeteer, unlike the many different controllers in the 3D world

In the 3D world, how do you know there are different controllers? Do you see any controller controlling? Or does the avatar just move.
LOOK at the screen with your eyes, and point with your finger to the controller.
Same as Sylvia; check it! What can you see 'controlling' Sylvia? Point to the controller and tell me what you SEE.

“mind” rather liked being unique and special in one’s own way, as “my” thoughts were that we all are. It makes “me” feel that eye don’t matter

Nothing has changed; 'you' were never "unique and special in one’s own way" before now either! You are merely becoming aware that there is no 'you' to be 'unique and special in one’s own way' at all!

there is no me to have those feelings so it means it’s not real

Does it?? There is no 'you', and there are feelings being experienced! A sensation occurs, and it is felt. By whom? By no one. Feelings just happen. They are real. Only the 'me' they appear to be happening to is not separate from the feelings themselves.
Check it! Anger arises. Is it arising to something?? Or is it just arising. Is there anger without feeling? Are they separate at all? Point to the dividing line between anger and feeling, between Sylvia and the experience of feelings.

Sylvia is just part of the cycle of life, so she is just “happening” but the awareness is not clear if her life is just happening because of some thing/entity/energy imagining her or not.

So Check it!! LOOK with your eyes; do you SEE a Sylvia being imagined? Do you think she might be imagined? Check if there is a Real Imaginer! We have thoughts about unreal characters all the time: Santa, Batman, tooth fairy. The thoughts are Real; the characters are imaginary.

“if something is felt does it mean it’s true/real” - because there’s no me to feel it

Hmmm. That sounds like a belief. We are not wanting a new belief of "there is no me". What we want is to SEE beyond a shadow of a doubt that 'me' is an empty label, and not a separate entity at all! This is Reality!

Here. Do this little exercise—close your eyes and imagine you are holding a large watermelon in your hands. Imagine it so vividly, that you feel its weight, shape, temperature, smooth texture of the skin, its scent, the hollow sound it makes when you knock on it. Hold it there, sensing it vividly. Got it?
Now open your eyes.

The melon was felt, but it wasn't real. The sensations were there telling you there was a melon present. The thought of a melon was Real; the melon itself was imaginary.

Even the body can get into the act: imagine a lemon. Get it really clear in mind's eye: its texture, its lemony scent, its ovoid shape. Wait til it's clear. Now vividly imagine biting into the lemon.
Most people experience a flood of saliva Really happening in response to imagining biting into a lemon.

Thoughts are real; they come, they go, we have them—but the Content of a thought is always imaginary.
For example, think of a cup.
See its shape, size, pattern and colour. You are having a real thought; the cup itself is imaginary. You cannot drink out of it.
Same as thought of Self. The thought is real; the self is imaginary—it's an image.

What thinks it’s my mind, truly wants to hold on to the illusion that it runs itself. It’s been deeply indoctrinated over a long period of time.

Yes. The idea that we have some kind of Control over a separate slice of Life is deeply ingrained. How did it get that way? How did Sylvia come to believe she was a separate self in control of some slice of Life?

Life would become boring without a 'me'? Are you sure? Here it's noticed that Life is more surprising! Without any direction or control from 'me', there's no expectation of cause—>effect. I never know what's going to happen next!

No, eye am not sure. What you described as your experience is a taste of what eye have been hungering to experience! Spontaneity of life!....to just let it flow. There will be no satisfaction until eye do!

You are already experiencing spontaneity of life; you are just labeling it something else. Life is spontaneously occurring all the time!! Only you tell a story that you are in control of some of it. Check it!! What part of Life are 'you' in control of?
Go outside into nature and spend some time just watching Life occurring spontaneously. SEE that Life is happening without any 'you' to control it. The trees and grass grow with no controller; the birds sing and fly with no controller. LOOK and SEE if you can find a controller of and part of Life anywhere at all!

eye was beginning to think it was just “me” not knowing how to shut it off like “others” say they do/can when needed. Eye can stop hitting the head against the wall now regarding the mind chatter

When you are deeply focused on a direct physical experience—for example FEELing feet striking the pavement during walking, FEELing hot soapy water on hands when doing dishes, FEELing your bum on the chair your back pressing into a pillow while sitting—what happens to the chatter? Check it.

The sadness seems to say “it’s okay, you are not alone in this….”you” were not aware as your thoughts led you to believe” The thoughts of one-ness this “mind” thought it knew the meaning of, seems way off the mark now!

No one has ever Thought his way to Liberation. And the mental awareness that 'you' do not exist is a step in the process.
That there is no "self", no "you", and never was must be SEEN, Experienced Directly. This is why I instruct you to LOOK, not think!!

Eye feel like a new born, feeling my way around this new experience

Good!! Does a newborn have a self at all? Check it!

nothing separate as all is one. Now the thought comes up that there’s no me so there’s no “you” that eye am talking to so this is life – yet again – talking to itself, trying to work things out.

Yes!! Now LOOK and SEE it!!

Hoping not to drive “you” up the wall as eye go through this process.

Hahaha!!! We are not separate. This is me going through the process.

It does seem a little like that comedy skit “Who’s on First”

Yes indeed!! It is very much like that!! It is so obvious that it goes completely overlooked, even when I TELL you.

eye laugh inside or make little jokes outwardly, now and then but it’s just a nervous thing :p

Check the nervousness. That's another aspect of fear. What is feared will happen if you see through the illusion that you are/have a separate self? Ask it!

just now the biggest fearful thought that suddenly surfaced and made the stomach of the body clench, is that "the mind" now thinks that "I am" here (or nowhere) "all alone as life, since there is no me, nor any "others"

Mind will do whatever it takes to shift your focus away from SEEing that there is no separate you; it will distract you with worrying thoughts. Check it: if there is no separate you, how are you alone?? If there is no separation at all, what does that mean?

loving your openness to the process,
Nona

Hello Nona :)

Many thanks for getting back to me. There is lots for me to look at/see. The process is challenging in a great way! Eye will get back to here tomorrow, as eye want to be able to experience the effect of everything completely, as per one of the exercises you gave, so will go outside tomorrow in nature in the back yard when it's day light (late now) :) that way eye can respond in full. Best of a wonderful evening to you and much love sent. <3

Namaste
Sylvia

will go outside tomorrow in nature in the back yard when it's day light

Haha Sylvia! Oh yes; you will see more in daylight. And Life is life-ing at night too.

Looking forward to tomorrow's response.
love
Nona