The Gate

What brings me here is that I want to be free.

I've had glimpses of no-self and dis-identification with the body and mind, but I haven't realized this permanently.

I ask the above question because we've heard from many people what "freedom" means, and purchased these points of view. We hear that we are identified with with body and mind. Then we are given (or sold) practices and techniques that allow us to feel that we've had glimpses of no-self and dis-identification--but we're not there yet, and then it always seems out of reach, because it appears that we have to make extraordinary efforts and make something go permanent. All this is contrivance. All this is manipulating points of view to contrive a state of dis-identification. It's based on an idea that there's someone to be identified. And it's based on an idea of causality. Like "Meditate for 20 years and as a result, you'll dis-identify and reach enlightenment." And if you're not one of the rare ones who makes it, "Well then, meditate harder for another 10 years, and do selfless saintly deeds, and get the blessings of the greatest living guru in the universe, and become an expert in holy texts, and show everyone that you're always kind, and wise, and glowing, and zapping people with shakti, etc. etc.

These might not be your exact points of view, but I think you see what I'm talking about regarding adopting and engaging causal, spiritual points of view. It's very unlikely that you'll achieve "no-self" through causality. Why? It's already so, and there's already full awareness of the fact. As soon as you reach for this through causality, you're turning away from the evidence. Question 2: Are you willing to put aside any hope in causality, for now?

I expect to see who and what I really am. I expect to permanently realize that I am not the body, thoughts, emotions, sensations. I expect freedom.

You may have heard this, since you're in CA. But please hear this deeply: you already realize that you are not the body, thoughts, emotions, and sensations.
• Look at the body now, the sensations coming and going. Is that a you?
Take a few minutes to look and sense....Question 3 is: is that a 'you'?
• Look at thoughts now, thinking happening, cognitions coming and going. Is that a you? Question 4: Can you be found in thoughts that come and go?

What if there's no you to be found in any physical, energetic, or mental field?

I find that I still identify with thoughts, desires, sensations, fear, pain, and can still be drawn into life's dramas. I wish to be free.

Question 1: Would you say that you want freedom deeply enough that you would be willing to try putting aside all and any ideas you have about freedom, the benefits, and what it should look like?

Question 2: Are you willing to put aside any hope in causality, for now?

You may have heard this, since you're in CA. But please hear this deeply: you already realize that you are not the body, thoughts, emotions, and sensations.

Look at the body now, the sensations coming and going. Is that a you?

Take a few minutes to look and sense....Question 3 is: is that a 'you'?

Look at thoughts now, thinking happening, cognitions coming and going. Is that a you?

Question 4: Can you be found in thoughts that come and go?

Question 5: Look very deeply at what you call you. Take as long as you need to really focus on exactly what you mean by "I". Tell me about it. What do you honestly find?

By the way, there's no rejection of spiritual practice implied. Just an invitation to look beyond the assumed causality & self-agency.

BTW, I work Monday - Friday, so I might not respond as frequently during the week as I can today. Just know that I'm in this conversation until the end, whatever that may be.

Now I'm seeing that there's an idea that realizing this should feel a certain way, and I don't feel that way.

I don't find anything tangible. What I mean by "I" depends on context. When speaking to others, "I" means the collection of body, personality, thoughts, emotions, awareness, the whole human package. The fleeting as well as the non-fleeting.

When I look within, "I" means awareness. Awareness is as deep as I see. It seems to be the most permanent aspect of me. Is there something deeper?

BTW, I work Monday - Friday, so I might not respond as frequently during the week as I can today.

Feel free also to respond to just one Q, or respond briefly and spontaneously without editing. If we can touch-in each day even briefly, it may give us some continuity. If you have any moments during your day when you can stop and look into these matters, it may give us some depth.

The word "I" is completely contextual, and thus cannot point to anything tangible. It really just indicates a context. Q2: Keep pressing in the direction of that intangibility for the feeling of a 'you'. Try to catch it and stare at it. What's going on there?

Great! Did an "I" read or inquire in such a way that a light was produced? (Multiple choice for a busy man: Y or N)

Q4: When you say you see awareness, what is it? Is there an "it" there? If so, describe it.

Q5: If "you" are something looking at awareness, can that awareness be a "you"?

Q6: We saw that thought can't be a real you, and we saw that the body can't be a real you. Where else do we need to look, if we're going to find a real "you"?