The Gate

Hello!
I had attempted this once a few years back but was unsuccessful. I have recently experienced a strong restlessness which prompted me to start once again down this path. I was hoping I could do this on my own and have felt like i'm very close, but would be very appreciative if someone would be able to guide me. Answers to questions below…. many, many thanks!

1. LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
That life is just living itself. There is no separate I or entity who controls things and is in charge of a separate life. It's a thought or a word, part of language, a label, attaching itself to seemingly everything and mistakenly believed to be a real thing.
2. What are you looking for at LU?
I'm hoping someone here can point me (guide me) (push me) in the right direction so I can get to the bottom of this. There's just a very strong restlessness and unsettled feeling that i would love to resolve I know I have some blind spots, and fear and am not aware of all of the places I need to be looking for the self.
3. What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Well, I’ve read quite a few and I know that the guide poses certain questions and I’m supposed to answer them honestly by actually looking. I think my biggest expectation though is that the day to day engagement with a guide will provide some momentum and get me to look at/see whatever it is that needs to be seen. Also, the idea of engaging with someone who has been through this sounds very comforting.
4. What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I don't have much of a spiritual background at all, just a regular person. I have some knowledge of certain spiritual practices and people in the spiritual world. Most of what I know is from falling down the google rabbit hole of trying to end suffering. Seeking for me started about 15 years ago after having kids. I suffered a significant childhood trauma at around age 9 and dealt with intense depression and anxiety for many years. I lived a fairly normal life despite that and true seeking didn’t start until my early 30’s.
5. On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about ‘self?
10. I feel pretty ready to be done with this.

Hello,

My name is Rowena and I am happy to be your guide. Please let me know what you would like me to call you.

I am beginning with the initial LU information just for formality even though you are familiar with the forum.

1. Here at LU we assist in the exploration of the idea of the separate self. This is a guiding based on experience that brings a shift in perception and is not a debate. It directly points to what IS through the use of exercises, questions and dialogue. What is expected from you is to LOOK carefully to what is being pointed at. It is this simple LOOKING (not thinking) that brings a shift in perception.

2. Here, we are LOOKING directly into the experience of the senses, which is actually here and now, with the thinking stripped away. It is also known as Direct Experience (DE) or Actual Experience (AE). In this way, we are aiming to discover what is truly happening without the story we tell ourselves. For this process to work you have to answer with 100% honesty, and not relying on thought, imagination or memory - just reporting your direct experience. That would also mean leaving spiritual teachings, philosophies and science away during the inquiry. If you have a meditation practice, please feel free to continue with it as usual – it might come helpful.

3. Please read the following documents from LU *carefully* and let me know if you have any reservations or doubts regarding them:

http://www.liberationunleashed.com/register/disclaimer/

and "Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU.
http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041


4. Please make sure that you are subscribed to your thread. In the top left corner, next to "Post Reply" there is an icon that looks like a spanner. When you click on it there is a menu where you can select “Subscribe topic’. Click on it once. (To be sure that you are subscribed just refresh the page and if you click again should show “Unsubscribe topic”.)

6. Please answer all questions individually, not in a bundle, as this will assist us both in having a clear dialogue. Also it is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. It will save you time in the long run, if a glitch in the system wipes out your answer.

7. When replying to a question it makes it a lot easier to follow the enquiry using the 'Quote Function' to highlight the questions and answers. Here's a video link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fAToDNh9hQ

Throughout this exploration the questions that I would like you to answer are written in blue text. But please check and answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text!!

For the sake of the intensity of the inquiry let’s try to stick to a daily conversation. Of course, life happens, so if you need more time, please let me know. And I will do so as well. This daily conversation will help to slowly unravel the conditioned, conceptual way of looking at our experience and see through the illusion. I cannot stress the value of this more.

Lets get started:

"THERE IS NO SEPARATE SELF, NO ONE IN CONTROL, THERE NEVER WAS AND NEVER WILL BE"

Read or say out loud this sentence. Then pause and take a moment and look into your direct experience..
Can you find anything to name or identify that is truly yourself, that is constant and invariable that stands apart from all other appearances?

After doing it many times, let me know what was seen, felt, discovered.

Please share only your immediate experience when you say or read those words, take note of any thoughts that are emotionally charged, even if you think they might be irrational and any sensations that are noticed in the body. Look for any contractions in head, heart or gut. Please keep to your direct experience and stay away from discussing and thoughts or ideas that are philosophical or spiritual or conceptual.

Warm regards,
Rowena