Vacío y Libre

[Uliwen]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
I understand, conceptually for now, that when inquiring deeply into our inner experience, a self, something that is there aside from the actual experience and can be referenced as "this is me" will not be found. I trust that this is possible but I am not finding this truth inside.

What are you looking for at LU?
I am looking for guidance or pointing to help me do inquiry properly and to double check the experiences that I am having because most of the time I feel stuck. I have had some experiences like the following:
-When asking what am I? or who is listening to the sounds? I see that the immediate answer is purely conceptual, in the mind space. I can actually see a constricted form full of boundaries that is "me", something purely conceptual that I can see from a distance. However, after seeing that, I get stuck and I keep asking, ok, what do I do next?
-I have had two different experiences of something that I would call unbound consciousness, like glimpses of something entirely different of how I usually experience reality. In one of tham, I suddenly dropped into an inmense space that was what I would call consciousness, and every experience (a sound, a thought) were like tiny drops or atoms in that inmense dark space. I felt like there was no way I would lose it because it was clearly always there. However, some minutes later I went on with my life and even if at thte beginning it was still there, I lost it and now I am fixated with the memory of that and willing to go back
-I have also been able to feel something similar but not as intense, like an equanimity towards everything that was happening in my surroundings and just neutrality, as going into a different experiencial state. It is not easy to describe. I lost it as well
-I am not patient and I am not having that much time to purely meditate, so I would like to focus on inquiry but I think I have not fully grasped what inquiry is. (Inquiry as the exploration of a question such as: "what am I?" and trusting your instinct and rest waiting for the "answer" and not going to the thought/mind).

Just in case this helps a bit, I have some familiarity and interest in western mysticism as well as zen practices.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I am looking forward to grasping a practice and knowing that that practice is the way to go. I am afraid I have been reading and listening to pointers to a point where I think I have many options to work with and I don't seem to find what suits me in terms of practice. It would also be amazing to have someone pointing out my "mistakes" or what I am not seeing or just helping me look to the important.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I don't have a long experience with any spiritual practice. Very recently I have started deeply focusing in this and currently I am inquiring and meditating everyday, not for too long though. But I am afraid I keep most of my practice on the conceptual realm reading and listening to videos, that is my default mode, I overthink and overconceptualise everything. Even the things I feel are deeply true and instinctively important, my mind overconceptualises them and it's exhausting but a difficult pattern to break. I am determined though and I have faith that this can and will be broken

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11