Weary seeker ready to see there is no gate

[Jellycat]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
You help people see through the illusion that the little I, we believe ourselves to be (run by thoughts and feelings) is not actually there at all. As it is never actually in our experience and is an illusion.

What are you looking for at LU?
To find liberation. I had a traumatic childhood and have done a lot of shadow work. But now there a deep sense of a light within a deep peace that wants to be at the forefront not in the background. I want to be in the world and moving through the world, but from intuition and sensing from spirit/true nature, not driven by the ego. I want to serve and be of service in the world. To fullfill my potential - as in shine my light in the world.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Honest directness, clarity, respect for experience. Patience and kindness along the way. Im very self critical and have a lot of self doubt so really appreciate a gentler, more compassionate approach. Having said that, I do really appreciate and honour truth. There is also awareness there, that it is probably my ego that is critical and self doubts so needs to be challenged.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I journal and do self enquiry most days. I also speak to god and have a devotional aspect to my self enquiry.
I first started seeking with earnest after a dark night of the soul when I was 23. I'm now 50. Starting out with self development and then moving to a more spiritual path. A great deal of body work and shadow work. A sense of needing to clear my vessel after the first awakening - up and out (falling away of all thoughts, all reactivity just a profound deepening silence and peace) thrn the second awakening was down and in (experienced as spirit descending into the body) there were thrn a lot of downloads but a sense that they couldn't be brought through as cleanly as I'd like because thr ego always seemed to hijack them. There been a deep sense of a calling since the first awakening and I'm tired of my egoic self being the reason I'm not moving into that calling with grace and ease so I can help humanity.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
10