Inherited suffering

[StephanvWyk]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
Me, myself, I. My self. These are separate parts of the whole. My self could be my conscious as the 'me! Is my ego. I am God. I am not my self. To se the I in me and be present with the I is to be present without time and space limitations.

What are you looking for at LU?
No idea!. It was suggested by a good friend I met on Vipassana. I'm honestly open to exploring the truth and engaging. Lets see where this goes. I have alot to learn from other opinions and knowledge.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
An adventure. And engagement. A connection on a interlectual level that will keep me stimulated in my persuit for truth and understanding. A mentor that will help me trancend the obstacles of transferring my help to orhers … being kind and generous to all beings.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I meditate 1 hour ton1.5 a day. I am constantly aware and contemplating my spatial awareness without judgements. (Which is what awareness is). I explore evedence of extraterrestrial life forms. I am absolute on truth, even though it is impossible for me to live by it.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 11

[graceabounds]

Hello dear,

Thanks for your patience in waiting for a guide, I know it has been a while since you registered. I’m happy to be present with you here.

To begin with, could you tell me more about this?

I am absolute on truth, even though it is impossible for me to live by it.

With gratitude,
Becca

[StephanvWyk]

Hi Becca,
Well, for me truth is another word for GOD and it is abolute (i.e. not relative). Truth does not change. Also, Truth is not my opinion and frankly Truth doesnt care what I think anyway. Being absoute, truth of existance, truth as being, well, it just is... and we (as humans and spirit) are part of the whole truth. Now our mind / ego / self wants to be in control and live a different path. We are born that way. Even the great sages talk about the battle of being close to truth. I cannot. I am nowhere near able to live a life engaged in absolute truth. I can get the occasional moment when clarity hits me and I feel one with Truth; one with God, one with Being. A fleeting moment. but to live in a state of being absolutely connected is not possable. My esperience can only be relative. If this makes any sense!

[graceabounds]

You’re caught in a web of spiritual storytelling. All of it. The talk of “my self,” “the I in me,” “I am God,” “I’m open to the truth,” “I want to help others,” and even “I can’t live by the truth”—all of this is selfing.

Right now, can you find any actual, inherently existing self in this moment? Not a thought about you or a story or a sensation interpreted as “mine,” but the actual thing itself.
Where is it?

To se the I in me

What exactly do you mean by “the I in me”? Where is it? How is it found? Without any spiritual interpretation go to your raw, direct experience and show me.

[StephanvWyk]

Thats the conundrum. My mind knows about the truth of existence, of infinite and the awareness of non-self. But I dont find it in me (or as me) unless im in deep meditiaton. The I (the God in me) is separate from me. Yes I metion I alot . What I really think of as "I" is the GOD part of me. Although often its the EGO part of me trying to be the "I". Its like "I AM" is both God and ME and "I" on its own is GOD. So in many instances when I say I it is referance to the AM (the self) of me. One is vocabulary I (me) the other is a symbolic reference to GOD , the "I".

[graceabounds]

In this moment, right now, where is this “God” you claim is “in you”?
Where is this “ego part” that is trying to be “I”? Can you find them outside of the thoughts describing them?

Not imagine them or describe what they feel like.
No theory.
But in direct experience can you point to any of that?

You say “I” is God. “I AM” is ego and God. That these are different things.

But who is it that sees this split??
Isn’t that just more “I” underneath it all?

Watch carefully. What happens if you refuse to name anything as God, ego, or self… and just look?

Close your eyes.
Drop all the spiritual meaning.
Don’t meditate. Just sit. Be absolutely still.
Don’t name. Don’t analyze. Don’t describe.

And ask: What is here that is not thought?

Stay there. For minutes.

The thoughts will swirl. Don’t believe or follow a single one.

Then tell me:
Was there a split?
Was there a God-self and an ego-self duking it out?
Or was there just thought content labeling, dividing, interpreting?

My mind knows about the truth of existence, of infinite and the awareness of non-self

We aren’t interested in knowledge, it is the trap of knowing that blocks seeing. Let all the philosophy go… Are you willing to do that and look at what is actually here?

[StephanvWyk]

There is only now.

Thought is prepared. and cant be from "the now." I see that.

In pure awareness / nowness I see only truth. But I cant stay there. I dont know how to stay there for more than a brief moment.

Urgh!

[graceabounds]

Great. Let’s begin.

Here at LU we assist in the exploration of the idea of a separate self. This is actually not a debate or even a philosophy — it is a guiding based on experience that brings a shift in perception. We point directly to what is through simple exercises, questions, and dialogue.

What is expected from you is to LOOK carefully into what is being pointed at. It is this simple LOOKING (not thinking, not imagining, not remembering and definitely not philosophizing) that brings a shift in perception. We call this Direct Experience (DE): looking into what the senses report here and now, stripped of thought-story.

So for this process to work, your answers need to be 100% honest, not relying on thought, memory, or imagination, but reporting only what is directly seen in experience.

Next please read and say to yourself several times: *There is no separate self, there never was, there never will be*

After each time you read or say it, notice what happens, feelings, sensations, thoughts, movements... And write here what is noticed.

Don't try to get anything right, just share what is seen, unfiltered. Generally this process will be driven by seeing what is already happening, what is already the case. What is effortlessly seen while engaging questions and exercises is what is important. What you actually write me is secondary to that.

[StephanvWyk]

Thanx, I do try this... I think I should have mentioned earlier... my meditation practice is Vipasanna.
I am aware of the illusion of self and "self" as construct.

Will keep trying....

[StephanvWyk]

The reason my title is "Inherited Suffering" , is not only from the suffering of gernerational trauma (e.g The Father wound) and trauma passed down in DNA (Coded trauma), but also past life trauma. This is whats bothering me / distracting me / my burden and challenge. So I have the sankaharas from past life suffering that have kept me in fear and anxiety for most of my life. I am free from them now but the scars are still present.

[graceabounds]

What is here that is not a thought?

Where does inherited suffering live in the body when it isn’t labeled with a cause?

Do the exercise and report back what is noticed…. if all that is noticed are these thoughts and nothing else let me know.