Julia illusion

[JuliaJulia]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
Me is an concept, Ego. What Julia sees or does is an allusion all concepts included on my perception. When i come close to the realisation that there is no ME, and nothing was real - very strong fear comes up and feels death then i cant go trough it, a blockage.

What are you looking for at LU?
Im looking for more clarity, more consciousness, less fears and pass that gate finally to be free. I gave up in all practices, yoga, concepts bit something holds me from realization, i accept it but also i feel that there is one step is missing wich im not consious about.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I expect more peace, clarity, consciousness. To open my heart and feel relief and no more seeking, to feel home. I know that everything is here already but i cant see it or very shortly and then back to illusion and this endless movie

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I am 25 years seeking truth, had oracticed all kind of meditations, also goenka vipassana meditation, yoga, volunteeting, living 3 years in india, different ashrams. I dont do any oractices anymore, not listening anything or following any masters but i cant move that gate by my self for some reasons, i feel stucked, accepted it but 3 years no any evolution

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

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[graceabounds]

Hello Julia,

Thanks for your patience in waiting for a guide. I am happy to be present with you in this inquiry.

To begin, could you tell me more about this:

When i come close to the realisation that there is no ME, and nothing was real - very strong fear comes up and feels death then i cant go trough it, a blockage.

What happens in the body with this strong fear?Energetically? Are there any repetitive thoughts that arise?

Has this happened once or more?

In gratitude,
Becca