Who am I?

[Lauren22]

I just feel the same. I understand this is all just happening automatically. It seems like I learned these things over time. Like at some point I learned how to read because other people taught me, and that’s why it now happens automatically. Things in general are learned over time, like I’m already pre-programmed from generations before me - but this is just happening on its own? I think I’m confusing myself.

[Anastacia42]

like I’m already pre-programmed from generations before me - but this is just happening on its own?

YES, as you saw when you LOOKED.

I think I’m confusing myself.

Yes. Thinking will always confuse us. LOOKING will show us what is true. Remember Colored Socks? And this?

https://youtu.be/wyNwhK2Ur1c?si=TZwuFEst-7Hsadpu

Loving,

[Lauren22]

Hello, I appreciate you and the video reminder was also helpful. I conceptually understand. I am meditating and practicing rinse and repeat every day so that I can embody it and stop feeling like a separate self. I just wanted to check in and let you know, I really want this so much. Thank you.

[Anastacia42]

Hi Lauren,

Try these & be sure to listen to the Introduct first.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/k1ph01pt ... b03o&dl=0

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Do you still want to be guided?

[Lauren22]

Yes! I am following the meditations. I understand there is no “I”, it just feels like I’m not falling yet.

[Anastacia42]

Okay. Using only Direct Experience, please post here what is happening. Write what is true.

Much love,

[Lauren22]

Using only Direct Experience, please post here what is happening. Write what is true.

Breathing is happening. Thinking is happening. Typing is happening. Reading is happening. Hearing is happening. Listening is happening. Sensation is happening. Swallowing is happening.

[Anastacia42]

Err, good, but I meant when you do the pointers.

Thanks,

[Lauren22]

What do you mean by that?

[Anastacia42]

Very simple. Listen to one of the dozen pointers here & then write about (only) your Direct Experience. See Colored Socks above regarding what DE is.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/k1ph01pt ... ab03o&dl=0

Do you understand now?

[Lauren22]

Yes, I understand. I recognize the words are only pointers to direct experience. “Me” is a pointer to sensations in the body. It is a label, but “me” does not exist. The sensations exist as direct experience, but there is nobody experiencing them, they are just happening. Everything is just happening now in this moment without anyone controlling it. I have believed this “me” to be the controller of my experience, but I see “me” is just sensations labeled and repeated over and over again.

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

Do you notice how you didn't answer the question?

I am not interested in what you are thinking about. Re-read Colored Socks above. Thinking isn't what we're here for.

Please do the first pointer in the Dropbox and reply in direct experience what occurred.

Thank you.

[Lauren22]

Do you notice how you didn't answer the question?

Yeah I was describing my understanding, not direct experience.

Listening to the first pointer and seeing everything as God, my direct experience was of the sensations of tension and heaviness inside and thoughts coming up about it. And in the exercise the instruction was to understand everything in direct experience as God, even the observer of the direct experience. In doing this, I felt a new sensation of lightness and openness around the density of the “me” sensation and thoughts trying to figure it out.

[Anastacia42]

I felt a new sensation of lightness and openness around the density of the “me” sensation and thoughts trying to figure it out.

Fabulous! NOW you're getting somewhere. Stay with Direct Experience, which is "true" and you can find that there is no "self," which is also "true."

Let's keep going. Let me know how you experience the next one in DE.

Much love,