In time and out of it.

[JanineJanaki]

Hi Alan!

the commentary committee

Love it !!
How many on YOUR committee?!?!
“They” don’t like to be counted!! Each vies for #1!!!

Yes - it is doubt. So clear !

And the emotion that you previously experienced when thought crowded in when pondering the statement there is no separate self seems to be the way doubt was expressing so viscerally. Doubt was not just a thought but DEEPLY FELT.
Does that ring true for you Janine or am I off beam here?
Yes, deeply felt.

Here is the statement again for easy reference.

There is no such entity as a separate "me" never has been, never will be. It is a figment of the imagination.
As you read the statement again I am so curious about the qualities of that intense emotion now. Is there a difference?
Yes, quite a difference! It’s rather comical now!!

What about the feeling of devastation you spoke previously of - is that still the same? Tell me how it compares now
There is laughter bubbling up from inside! It had all seemed so serious!!!

Gentle moment by moment acknowledgement of what you truly are - CLEAR SEEING of this - is all that's needed.

Does thought have anything to say to that?
Still the laughter, probably quelled because there’s a contractor in the house. Feeling like laughing and crying simultaneously! “This endeavor of awakening is seeming silly,” presently. "You've been here before." Thought is reaching for a conclusion about the current state of affairs. Don’t care to indulge.

How does your heart respond - what is the FELT response to that?
Heart knows only love, inside and out. Calm, warm swirling.

Thank you, Alan!!

Love,
Janine

[Alless]

Oh Janine,

It’s rather comical now!!

There is laughter bubbling up from inside! It had all seemed so serious!!!

Still the laughter, probably quelled because there’s a contractor in the house. Feeling like laughing and crying simultaneously! “This endeavor of awakening is seeming silly,” presently. "You've been here before."

The "cosmic joke" right there !
And did you DO ANYTHING for this to happen?





What you report is such a palpable example of the power of illusory thought. We take thought on board - in this case doubt - so that doubt is believed to the extent we believe it is "me." And it IS the "me", not who we REALLY are, but the "me" who we THINK ourselves to be. And it is believed so convincingly that any attempt to approach it results in visceral emotional reaction.

But when we LOOK the peace that we really are is right there. Always there. What a relief !

It is a good time to reflect on the investigation thus far Janine.
Is there any aspect that stands out for you?


Is there any aspect you would like to revisit or dig deeper into?


With love


Alan

[JanineJanaki]

Hi Alan!

Still the laughter, probably quelled because there’s a contractor in the house. Feeling like laughing and crying simultaneously! “This endeavor of awakening is seeming silly,” presently. "You've been here before."

The "cosmic joke" right there !

And did you DO ANYTHING for this to happen?
Thoughts speak about “willingness to lean into…” and “this happened before after the psychedelic retreat in Canada and…”
Thoughts attempting to occlude What Is.
Sensing another thought attempting to sardonically seize the humor for later use against itself.
And more stories… “it had to come to this… extreme anguish with my sister, necessary to expel her from my life for sanity… for awakening…”

It is a good time to reflect on the investigation thus far Janine.

Is there any aspect that stands out for you?
Reliance upon direct experience, over the thought stream, is key, not pushing thoughts away or eradicating them, simply overlooking their serious nature.

Is there any aspect you would like to revisit or dig deeper into?
Not sure… strange, it seems like a lie to say, “the self has been seen through.” Then again, are thoughts not lies? “What next?”, another thought… Urgency is no longer present. Gone is the seriousness of the awakening quest… No conclusion…

Thank you!

Love,
Janine

[Alless]

Hello again Janine

As I've felt into your last couple of posts I get the sense that something has shifted for you. However you are the only one who really knows if that is so.

Also as I look back at the thread I am feeling we have covered most of what is necessary. But help is at hand to look at what we've done through some questions which are very useful , and which other guides will take a look at, to help us check if anything has been missed. It also gives other guides a chance to come back with any questions of their own or suggestions of where we might dig in a bit further

As you go through the following questions make sure you are not tempted to go to thought for an answer but ONLY Report from your Actual Experience in this very moment when you reply to each question. Do not reply from memory or a previous experience.

No need to rush, come from the heart and not your head, take your time and have some fun !!

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?



2) Share in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.



3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.



4) Can you remember any specific moment where there was an epiphany? ....a before and after seeing the actuality of no self? Was there a point when you ‘got it’ or was if more of a subtle unfolding of the truth which culminated in this realization?



5) From your own experience of no self please talk about ...

decision, & give examples from experience.



intention, & give examples from experience.



free will, & give examples from experience.



choice and control? & give examples from experience.



What makes things happen? How does it work?



What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.



6) Anything to add?




With love


Alan

[JanineJanaki]

Hello Alan!!

As you go through the following questions make sure you are not tempted to go to thought for an answer but ONLY Report from your Actual Experience in this very moment when you reply to each question. Do not reply from memory or a previous experience.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
Smiling, ready to laugh and cry. No separate self; a glorious game of hide and seek!!

2) Share in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.
It’s a persistent ghost, insubstantial, and imprisoned in time. The ghost claims identity, gets very serious, and sets about on all manner of escapades in the world, in the name of freedom and the “pursuit of happiness.” A “win some, lose some” game, with death and peril around every corner. The ghost doesn’t care whether it’s very good or very bad, as long as it’s special, and of course, believed (by itself!)
Finding The Stillness much more delicious than the thought stream. Leaning into It much of the time, and setting aside thoughts when they are not needed for practicality.
Don’t know how this happened, but days ago, in the dentist chair, during a root canal, The Stillness and Calm reigned. Thoughts were minimal… and when they did appear as doubt and concern, they were seen as such, and therefore felt pretty impotent. The day prior for the consultation, was experienced quite differently, with great anxiety and elevated blood pressure.
Also at the dentist, just before the procedure, when discussing the probability of success and potential pitfalls, I asked, “Is there a time, after this procedure is complete, when I no longer have to worry about infection returning?”
The dentist replied, “No… unfortunately not… it could be a day, a month, or a year. There’s no guarantees.”
Strangely, this was quite comical to hear. Finally, someone telling it straight!! No certainty!! And I found delight in that!
Also, the statement, “There is no such entity as a separate "me" never has been, never will be. It is a figment of the imagination,” invoked much visceral reaction during most of the investigation. Now there’s only laughter!! The game of hide and seek!!

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Lovely. Gone is the sense of urgency and desperation.


4) Can you remember any specific moment where there was an epiphany? ....a before and after seeing the actuality of no self? Was there a point when you ‘got it’ or was if more of a subtle unfolding of the truth which culminated in this realization?
A subtle unfolding. Clues began to arrive in the form of song lyrics, concepts, helpful at the time. The game was “seen” during a psychedelic/meditation and self-inquiry retreat in Canada in September 2023. But the ghost crept back in, thoroughly believed. During a recent stay in the hospital, Alan advised “me” to be aware of the stories being spun. I watched stories and connected to Stillness; sometimes stories seemed to play out, sometimes not. The contrast between Stillness and stories was captivating. After being discharged from the hospital, Alan and I had a phone call; there was much direct pointing. And then, the following day, Space, and Calm, and Stillness at the dentist!


5) From your own experience of no self please talk about ...
decision, & give examples from experience.
Thought may think it decides, but really, it’s All That Is spilling out of Alive Calm. Take today for example – there was a general idea of how things might flow. I had a Physical Therapy Appt several towns away and thought I might be able to help my friend sign a necessary medical release to get the necessary documents to his attorney (the nursing facility was in the area). I had phoned Andrew about this tentative plan the evening prior, but he seemed reluctant to go in-person to a disorganized facility, where he had experienced some measure of trauma. After my appointment, I left a message with Andrew, explaining that I was on my way to the facility to get the release form (that was supposed to have been emailed to me days ago!), but would be happy to pick him up. While en route, Andrew called, quite nervous about the matter. Undismayed, I turned the car around and went to retrieve Andrew. Together we enjoyed lovely conversation, and the experience at the facility (though I had been previously annoyed by perceived incompetence) was simple and peaceful. There was no “me” orchestrating any of this. This is The Flow.
So, the initial intention? To help Andrew? Mine? Not really. It just seemed like the next obvious thing… no need for any more thought than that!

intention, & give examples from experience.
There is no intention… just the next obvious thing. Like present hunger being soon addressed by supper. Just Flow. The less commentary, the easier!

free will, & give examples from experience.
No free will, only the illusion of free will, which binds terribly. Feeling freedom when there’s no orchestration. Walking with our new greyhound, she is kept by my side for safety, not control. Do “I” have the right to dictate “the way” any more than “she?” We just go together.

choice and control? & give examples from experience.
No choice. No control. The ghost clings to snapshots, frozen in time, imposing the sense of “cause and effect,” oblivious to the countless co-arising variables that are part of the moment. I think I can choose to pick up this cup of tea. I see no controller, as the cup still sits by my side. When the cup is picked up and tilted to the lips, as in Now, there’s only taste, still on the tongue. “I” could consider some of the infinite snapshots that ushered in the moment, the town’s water system, the workers who made the cup and processed the tea bag, the doctors who prescribed the medicine and dentist that helped heal the infection in my jaw, the mechanisms of the body… but details of the thought stream feel irrelevant.


What makes things happen? How does it work?
Nothing makes things happen. From the Calm Aliveness, pregnant with possibility, spills everything, naturally, simply. When a cup is filled to the brim and more water is added, the water overflows. When pushed by the thought system and accompanying sensations in the body, when the pressure is great, it releases. Simple. Contraction. Expansion.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Nothing. Responsibility is found only in thought/judgment. Thoughts, plastered over reality As It Is, invite responsibility, commandeering a piece of The Flow. An illusion, and simply not possible.

6) Anything to add?
Aware of the frustration in “trying to get it right,” invited by the dissonance between instructions, “Do not reply from memory or a previous experience” and the questions which ask to give examples from experience (found only in memory). Aside from these thoughts, peace reigns.

Much love!!
Janine

[Alless]

So beautiful Janine,

Direct from the heart !

Have invited other guides if they have any questions

Stay tuned and I'll be back to you !

With love


Alan

[Alless]

Dear Janine,

Just a quick note to let you know a number of other guides have seen our conversation and your responses to the questions you covered in your last post.

They have no questions as what you wrote is so very clear and directly from the heart. They certainly have felt the truth and beauty in what you wrote of your experiencing.

I will write more tomorrow as I am heading to bed right now but wanted to let you know that you will be getting a couple of messages from some of our admin people before they actually landed !

More tomorrow

With much love


Alan

[Alless]

Hello again Janine

Welcome to the doorway to home !!!

And here is something that is most probably so clear to you and is worth pointing to again and again

Wherever we "arrive" is ALWAYS only the beginning

One of the guides here at LU recently beautifully described the continuing unfolding.

'"When the core belief has been busted, a lot of other beliefs will still be hanging around. What you want to do at this point is LOOK and LOOK again and again. Keep your eyes open, let the beliefs come to the surface. Keep looking. They will come up one by one ready to be examined and released. Don’t fight them. Hold on to nothing.

As soon as you start holding on to beliefs and ideas, you get stuck - you feel right about something and feel like you have an opinion. To unstick, just let it be fully experienced consciously and let it all fall off. That means question everything you are certain about. It may take some time to settle in, but everyone is different, so there is no way to know how long it will take to be totally content and settled in the "new" way of being in the world. Sometimes it is intense, sometimes it’s gentle, but there is no finish line, only falling deeper and deeper into peace.

LOOKING is the tool that is always at our disposal to be used over and over again.

“Crossing the gate” is only the beginning of infinite integration and insights. All the old conditioning has to be seen for what it is. The best part is that the clearing out, this unbinding, happens on its own – it takes care of itself with authentic clear SEEING. When triggers are experienced (typically emotional,) it just shows that there are areas that are calling to be acknowledged and be explored directly."

It is also worth reminding ourselves that one of the fundamental truths here is to be able to continue to see the story AND the sensation in emotions that arise - as you are already doing. Sitting with sensations is absolutely key to this on-going unbinding. FEELING into sensation without interpretation is another approach to experience that we need to use again and again. Sometimes we can drop straight into it. Other times we find it really challenging. If you feel some extra help is worthwhile here just let me know and I will respond by private email.


And just before I wrap up here there is something that Adyashanti wrote which is at the heart of living

It is this......

“The inner teacher is a rather subtle and obscure inner force. It arises in deep inner silence when you are truly humble and sincere. It is your deepest being reaching out to you. It often has the paradoxical feel of being deeply rooted within us but also has the feeling of otherness to it as well.


One of the functions of the outer teacher is to help orient you to the inner teacher by either confirming or questioning what you feel to be the inner teacher. Listening to your own deepest wisdom is the inner teacher. And learning what is and isn’t wise through trial and error is how you more precisely hone in on the authentic inner teacher.


It is a delicate and uncertain path to discover what is wise within you.



But it is essential.”



How beautiful !!! This inner knowing - this priceless, ultimate teacher and guide.

The love of truth will carry us all the way !!

It has been an absolute joy to be with you in this discovery Janine.


With love


Alan