The Gate

deborahs only responsibility is to learn and be open to the unfolding.

Are you in control of this responsibility to learn or be open?

no, i see that i am not and cant be

no, i see that i am not and cant be

What does it feel like to see / realize all this?

No. when i review some past actions and think i wish, with the benefit of hindsight, i had done something different, i realise that if i were to be put back there with the same knowledge, feelings etc that i had then, i would not do anything differently and i have seen how i can plan and that plans dont happen or happen differently. what is happening is the flow and deborah has no control over it.

Does this change your view of other people?

Looking back before our conversation here at LU, have things changed in everyday life? What is different and what is the same?

Is seeing that there is no inherent self like you expected?

hat does it feel like to see / realize all this?

Its a bit crazy to see through the illusion in a good way, liberating!

No. when i review some past actions and think i wish, with the benefit of hindsight, i had done something different, i realise that if i were to be put back there with the same knowledge, feelings etc that i had then, i would not do anything differently and i have seen how i can plan and that plans dont happen or happen differently. what is happening is the flow and deborah has no control over it.Does this change your view of other people?

I think more tolerant and accepting - flow is flow, if i have no control, neither does anyone els. . understanding there is no separation, i think has made me feel more loving to the apparent other

Looking back before our conversation here at LU, have things changed in everyday life? What is different and what is the same?

Everything is the same, im just experiencing it differently

Is seeing that there is no inherent self like you expected?

i think it is more pragmatic than i would previously have thought.  and i love being in direct experience.+

Its a bit crazy to see through the illusion in a good way, liberating!

Nice! Yes :)

I think more tolerant and accepting - flow is flow, if i have no control, neither does anyone els. . understanding there is no separation, i think has made me feel more loving to the apparent other

Great to hear. Also one good thing to remember is that triggers may still surface, but there's less stickiness to them because there is less protection of the self. I can give you resources for the triggers after we're done. There's no rush in getting to them. It's nice to just enjoy this.

i think it is more pragmatic than i would previously have thought. and i love being in direct experience.+
I think more tolerant and accepting - flow is flow, if i have no control, neither does anyone els. . understanding there is no separation, i think has made me feel more loving to the apparent other

Yup exactly.

So those are all the checks I wanted to make. Next I'd present you with the final questions if you are interested and don't have anything else you'd like to explore?

Id love to have a go at the final questions.. im not sure what i would ask to explore but maybe by answering the questions that may become evident

Yes, I feel like most has been covered.

Here you go. Take your time and enjoy :)

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

there is no separate entity self, me or i and never was

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.

Describe it fully as you see it now.
the separate self  is first realised when children recognise or respond to a name/label that they learn seems to belong to them.  it then believes that everything that happens is happening to it or because of it and that it has some control over whats happening.   this is reinforced by my culture and not questioned.  there is a belief that the  separate self seems to have individual wants and needs and accommodating these also reinforce being separate, creating competition making the apparent other seem like most definitely the other.  the competition for attention, resources, love, affection and so on  creates disharmony where there is only common 'being' 

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

its a relief to be able to put down the sword and shield and embrace the wholeness of the experience becoming more accepting and tolerant, less affected by 'drama' and feeling love.  

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

i had a break up with a partner.  the last of many.  each experience seemed to be more extreme.  it was pretty painful.  i thought. thats it, ive had enough. there has to be another way.

5

) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

 

these are all illusion, ideas and concepts that dont always play out in the happening.  when they do, it can be believed that they are real - it was my intention or decision and thats why it happened.  like proof creating a belief they are real.  the story of choosing the clothes, the plan for getting ready/getting there and so on for the get together yesterday happened in a completely different way in the happening.  if i had free will, i would not have been late, the plan would have panned out.  the unfolding just unfolds.  i am resposible for nothing that happens.  it was very peaceful.

6

) Anything to add?

  thank you henri :-) look forward to your reply

Thank you for the answers!

I'll now share these with other fellow guides to see if they have any questions or feedback, in case we missed something.

I'll be back :)

Hi Deb,

One guide would like to know the answer to question #4 as it pertains to our inquiry.

Here's Q4 again:

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

In other words: What was it during our conversation here at LU that pushed you over? If there are several things, feel free to list them all.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?In other words: What was it during our conversation here at LU that pushed you over? If there are several things, feel free to list them all.

Gosh, everything has been helpful - the videos, your approach, the different exercises and how theyve flowed.  i think the direct experience, especially having had  'the bed experience' that is where i could see.

Thank you for the answer. Glad to hear that :)

I'll be back if anyone has anything else, otherwise we can wrap up.

That was quick. No one had anything else..

We can wrap things up. You'll receive an email from the admin inviting you to the LU FB group.

And if at any point in the future you feel confused, you can always email or PM me through the forum. Just go to my profile and there are links there on how to contact me.

Mostly just enjoy this. Curiosity will naturally deepen this. No need to do anything. It unfolds.

Here are some resources in case something resonates:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj3-Nn2nXL8 - What's Next? - A video from Ilona.

https://www.simplytheseen.com/explore-each-fetter.html - Great resource if you want to explore the next layer of selfing. In your case it would be fetters 4 & 5.

https://perfectlyokay.org/ - A free community that has an excellent 10 fetters group that meets up almost every week. They also have recordings from previous meetings that are excellent. Instructions on how to join are on the homepage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvAnoARCEtA - A good video from Scott Kiloby if more emotional stuff is coming up. He goes through the embodiment of awakening.

Henri, im having a lovely sensation of gratitude, thank you for all your pointing :-)

Thanks, Deborah!

I enjoyed our conversation :)