The Gate

Hi,

Still there?

Yes I am still here.

At what age do you think making up a "self" starts?

How does that happen?

When we start say I and mine. Then there is a certain sense of ownership that continues throughout life, if not challenged.

It was through non duality teachings that I first encountered this no self talk. Probably would never have assumed that being a perspective.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels freeing. It feels expansive and spacious. I have had a lot of glimpses before our talk, but I always try to frame it and believe those concepts and then loose it.
What is different this time is that it has become clear that the only access is direct experience. In direct experience I see that this experience isn't new. I have seen this before. Direct experience connects with earlier direct experiences.
The cool thing about it is that it has nothing to do with beliefs. But a lot to do with trust.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

That you kept asking the same question. Can you say with 100 % certainty that there is no separate self?
I didn't like that question. But then I asked how many times I needed to see it to trust it. Now I am trusting it :)

Blessings

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
That you kept asking the same question. Can you say with 100 % certainty that there is no separate self?
I didn't like that question. But then I asked how many times I needed to see it to trust it. Now I am trusting it :)

Okay, but "trust" is about thinking. We want you to experience it, to SEE that there is no self when you LOOK.

Is this the case? Do you SEE (yes, with your eyes) that there is no separate "self?"

When you have answered all 6 questions, please gather them together in one post. Quote each question and place you answer underneath. Other guides will have to read these and we want to make it as neat and concise and convenient for them as possible, please?

Loving,

Here is an invitation for April’s meeting with Ilona. Everyone is welcome. If you have a question, an issue, an emotional difficulty, or anything else you would like to explore bring it with you.

Sunday, April 9, 7 pm to 9 pm Mauritius Time

On Zoom

To join email me at admin@ilonaciunaite.com or use the old link.

See you there.
Ilona

Okay, but "trust" is about thinking. We want you to experience it, to SEE that there is no self when you LOOK.

I meant to say to trust what I see instead of habitual thinking.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

I don't think I understand this question. Do you want to know how I experience decision?
For a long time I have felt that decisions make them selves. I can't make myself believe something I don't believe in. I can't decide to like something I don't like.
When I try to convince myself of something I can sense that it is not true. I mean this on a fundamental level.
I can't decide to see that there is no self. Either it is seen or not. The trick is to stop believing and start seeing.

This is what comes forward trying to answer a question I might not have understood.

When you have answered all 6 questions, please gather them together in one post. Quote each question and place you answer underneath. Other guides will have to read these and we want to make it as neat and concise and convenient for them as possible, please?

I will :)

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

It feels like decisions make themselves. It feels less like struggle and more like observing a decision being made and then letting it manifest. It feels simple and quite thoughtless.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

How do I experience intention? I feels more like tapping into a deep longing for freedom and truth and not avoiding what is uncomfortable. Intention moves it self. It's just part of an orientation.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Free will is a funny concept. What does it mean? If there is no separate self, is there choice? I experience a certain level of choice. But that feels more like a choice between letting life unfold or interferring. Staying in push and pull seems like a choice, but that feels much more like staying in unconscious autopilot, following the patterns of habit.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

I am letting choice make it self. The choice as seen here are between sleepwalking and listening to what naturally picks itself.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

I need to examen this one a bit closer.

Stay well and safe 🙏

Hi

I need to examen this one a bit closer.

Same as all of the others.

Here is a recent video on doubt that may also be helpful:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_8N331jpA4

Loving,

Thank you for the video.

I am trying to answer the questions so truthfully as I can. It's not that easy. We often use words to hide behind. And I have been listening to non-dual talk for many years, so I can use it in a unknowingly dishonest way.

Language can help the realisation but can hide reality from being seen. So I am trying to say what is experienced as precise as possible without hiding in the non-dual jargon.

I will post my answers soon. Thank you for your patience

Good.

Don't over think it.

Much love,

Good morning,

Are you ready to gather your answers into one post?

What did you find about "control?"

Loving,

Same as all of the others.

Okay. I'll look at it again.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

This is actually an interesting question. Because it isn't that simple to answer that question. I used to believe that I was the person I imagined myself to be. I sometimes would see myself and hear myself (inner voice).
I don't believe that any more. I am not at two places at the same time. So I've come to see that I can't see myself. And the voice in my head is not my voice. It's just thoughts who loose energy when not believed in.
My life has become much more simple after this insight.
But there seems to be an experience of experience.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

It starts with the words me and mine. And it becomes habitual to believe that reality is the way I think it is. There is a me that is having experience. But when looked at closely it is seen that there is no separation between experience and experiencer. Actually the experiencer is imagined.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

I have had loads of glimpses before. What differs is the importance of staying on point. Staying in the senses. The mind has a lot of words for what is going on. But having a guide that doesn't allow these trappings and asks you kindly to stay on point.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I could see the contraction in the belief of self and the freedom and simplicity and truth of no self.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

The reason I haven't written anything is because I don't know what to write. Like at all. At the moment I remember what I thought all those words meant. But now I don't know. Decision and intention are not here at the moment. I just follow what feels most natural. It doesn't feel like intention or decision. It feels like listening and moving. I don't feel like there is a direction or any non direction. It feels more like here and now something needs to be looked at and attention goes there.

Am I awake? I don't know what that means.
Life is. Both hard and beautiful and all the rest.

Sorry I can't put these current experiences into words at the moment. I will return when I get a better grab on them.

Thank you for putting your time and effort here - That's beautiful 🙏

Okay.

Revisit Question 1 - we need to see that you are 100% certain there's no separate. "self."

That it is your lived experience, not just a logical conclusion. Maybe you know that, but your answer is unclear.

#2 is clear.

#3 is okay. Was there an experience when you *knew* or was it gradual?

#4 is probably fine

#5 is better than you think.

I think I'll go ahead and run your answers by other guides and see what questions they have.

Loving,

Another guide asks:

It feels like listening and moving."

Are the listnening and moving separate?

Is there anything that listens and responds appropriately to the circumstances?

Are there "cause" and "effect" without thought content?