Inspired by Jed

[Merrick]

Oh I just thought maybe you didn't see my updated reply lol. Please take all the time you need to reply, I didn't mean to rush or anything!

Oh, got a short question for you:

Do you feel a kind of shift (however small) happened?

Yes I do. I don't really know how to describe it, but a shift (rather small) is definitely there I feel.

[Bananafish]

Great! Anything still unclear?
Please let me know, if any.

[Merrick]

So what is this? This isn't what Jed McKenna/Enlightened Masters has right? Is this simply the beginning of a new journey by truly seeing that there is no 'self'?

[Bananafish]

There’s a zen saying that suits your situation now.
“When you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.”



The “Enlightened Masters” is your image of masters and has nothing to do with enlightenment. They shouldn’t be capitalized. lol



Why make such a fantasy so important? It feels good to have a kind of guru to look up on, but has it helped so far? Throw away all of them. I haven’t read Jed Mckenna, but if he truly sees truth, he would say the same thing.



And conversely, by doing it, I can truly pay respect to the great masters, as you can meet them directly. They are here, now, in this moment.



And yes, this is only the beginning.
Now you know how to look at reality, don’t you?
Then live it, and truth will be lived. :)

[Merrick]

There’s a zen saying that suits your situation now.
“When you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.”

I understand what you're saying

The “Enlightened Masters” is your image of masters and has nothing to do with enlightenment. They shouldn’t be capitalized. lol

lol yes

Why make such a fantasy so important? It feels good to have a kind of guru to look up on, but has it helped so far? Throw away all of them. I haven’t read Jed Mckenna, but if he truly sees truth, he would say the same thing.

Yes.... Jed McKenna says the EXACT same thing as you did LOL

And conversely, by doing it, I can truly pay respect to the great masters, as you can meet them directly. They are here, now, in this moment.

:)

And yes, this is only the beginning.
Now you know how to look at reality, don’t you?
Then live it, and truth will be lived. :)

Thank you for everything you have done for 'me'. I do feel like a new beginning or rather like this new beginning started a few weeks/days ago, and I just didn't realize it lol.

I do have 1 final question though, hopefully you can clarify a bit for me? I know we basically went over it, but is awareness possible without any content?

[Bananafish]

I do have 1 final question though, hopefully you can clarify a bit for me? I know we basically went over it, but is awareness possible without any content?

Let's have a look at this together.


Stare at anything that's around you; keep staring and please investigate.
Is it a content of something? What does it tell you?

[Merrick]

There are no 'contents'. There's nothing around 'me'. Just emptiness/nothingness. I now see that the mind makes things out to be 'contents of this/that'. This is weird and funny at the same time lol.

I guess my question came as a form of wondering about what happens at "death". For example, as they say 'returning back to oneness with Brahman'. Now I wonder, was I ever separate from Brahman? I think not.

[Merrick]

Look at the questions I'm asking lol. The conditioned mind is still there (it's supposed to be, I know), so it seeks security. But who is it that seeks security? No one.

As I now truly see that there is no 'self', it feels easier to let go now of security and just remain in wonder. The questions feel like they're going away, cause there was never any legitimate questions to begin with. I'm starting to understand why they say TRUTH is nothing special. It's not bad neither. It just is.

[Bananafish]

It's a pleasure to read your recent posts!

Anything for further exploration?

If not, would you like to proceed to the final questions?

[Merrick]

Let's proceed to the final questions

[Bananafish]

Hi Merrick, sorry for the late reply again.
I’ll post the questions tonight. Please wait for a while.

[Merrick]

No problem!

[Bananafish]

Hi Merrick! Here are the questions:


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was
there ever?


2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from
your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.


3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.


4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?


5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen?
How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.


6) Anything to add?

[Merrick]

Hi Merrick! Here are the questions:


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was
there ever?

No, there is no separate entity 'self' or whatever you wanna call it. Never was.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from
your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of a separate self is honestly something I could have answered better before this conversation with you. I don't know how to answer it anymore. This is because, the 'self' makes so little sense now, I don't even know how to comprehend it anymore. I'll try though...

The illusion of the 'self' is just unexamined/unquestioned assumptions that we have been taught. It seems to start from this assumption that there is a source of awareness behind the eyes in the head, doing the seeing/thinking/hearing/experiencing, etc... It seems to work by the mind that is conditioned to think and respond in certain ways.

The above answer took me a while to write and still, the answer came out horrible. I don't even know wtf I'm writing lol. I could have written an essay on the 'self' before all this.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

It feels like life is a bit 'lighter'. The differences so far is that, I take things less personal. I don't take things as an experience happening to "ME". Less need for security. Bunch of other stuff too that all originate from having the sense of an "I".

Here's an example. Before, when I would do something embarrassing, I'd get... embarrassed. Now when I do something embarrassing, I just feel like "oh well, this universal cosmic show can use some humor" lol.

I sense "myself" in others. I find myself sometimes, just looking at some random person, and being aware that there is no difference between that person and me. I feel "love" a lot just looking at random people lol.

Everything feels empty. Like nothing is real. And that's ok. Cause it never was.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?

I think the biggest catalyst was when I was just out in nature and doing some of the exercises. I was aware that there is an awareness of these surroundings, the trees, birds, etc... I sensed the all too familiar, but never questioned assumption, that this experience is happening from inside my head. Then realizing that this sensation is simply another part of my field of awareness. Looking out from my head is a part of my awareness. I then pondered on where awareness originates from. I had a sensation of feeling that awareness is nowhere. Empty. I found it in everything for a brief moment. It felt like the empty space all around me was alive for a second. It felt like awareness transcends space/time. I realized this head/body/and thoughts are all part of 'awareness' just as much as this tree was a part of 'awareness'. In that sense, there was no difference between me and a tree.

Another big one was the 4-5 experiences I had that lasted for a few seconds where "I" was gone, and there was just an impartial/impersonal observation of life happening. It felt like the universe does its thing whether there is an "I" or not. And it's all just a ride. A show. My spaghetti ate itself. The gym goers were all working out. It was not 10 different people having 10 different experiences. It was all 1 singular process of the universe.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen?
How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

I really don't know. There is no "I" making choices, that I know for sure. All choices, and decisions, and "free will" seem to just be based off a flow of where life goes. "Life" being the totality of everything. There is just ONE 'happening'. The 'self' thinks it's an individual happening in a universe of billions of happenings, but it's really just one. It's just a ride.

I am not responsible for anything as there is no "I". But at the same time, I am responsible for everything, as everything is "I".

So this following example is something I have been doing a lot lately. I just give up all control and go with the flow. I don't plan anything. I just allow things to unfold. Now to some people, this may sound like sitting in a room doing nothing, but of course that's not true. Yesterday I went to the park with my dog. I had no planned route. I was just there. And the flow just takes "me" on a path. I trust it. I found my self following this path to this park bench overlooking a vast green field. I thought to my self "I'm Eckhart Tolle at the park bench LOL (from his book)". I thought it was hilarious.

Now, did "I" plan this experience? No. This moment right here right now, just unfolded into that. I have no idea how this works or what this is. I don't really care. Will all experiences unfold this way? I'm sure life will unfold 'negatively' too. Can't have the ups without the downs. But behind all this dualistic roller coaster, I can find the sense of peace behind it all that is unshakable. That it's just a ride. The downs, nor the ups, are happening to "me". It's just a happening. The conditioned mind may still react badly in some cases, but the suffering is different. When the suffering is attached to an "I" it is true suffering. Without an "I", it's a part of the ride that is accepted.

6) Anything to add?

I also think it was silly of me now for being a bit 'scared' to realize all this lol. I thought I might lose my passions, my goals, my life. There is still the mind, still the drive, still the everything. Just that they have no 'owner'. But if there never was an "owner"/"self" those things belonged to, then why would they be gone now? They all existed without a 'self' in the first place.

I am content and happy right now. I am excited for my life. The past few weeks have been great. I feel like I dropped a million pounds of attachments I have been carrying around with me. I'm freely expressing myself these days in my life. I do this without a care in the world because there is no "one" to care. There is still emotional responses of sorts sometimes, but I just recognize, yeah the mind and its conditioned patterns and such are still there but it's all a part of awareness just like the tree over there is. It's not ME.

Lastly, thank you Bananafish! Funny set of events that took place that lead me to liberation unleashed and got connected to you as my guide. Life is funny. I am grateful for this free service by wonderful people like you. I love you!

[Bananafish]

Hi Merrick. :)

I had our thread checked by another
guide, and there are no more questions to
be asked.

Thanks for your beautiful answers,
and congrats on your successful gatecrashing!

I will send you a private massege, so
please have a look at it.

Warm regards,

Bananafish