Trackless Bird

[Periwinkle]

Next, explore this in speaking with family, friends, colleagues. Observe words being spoken. At the same time, while its happening, observe a 'me' speaking. Give it yer best.

At work, questions were asked of me, and the answers appeared on their own. The 'I' wasn't there, commanding the mind to come up with the right thoughts. They just came.

Our car alarm accidentally went off last night, and thoughts sprang up instantly of how to deal with it, of what to then do. There was thinking, actually quite good thinking, that just took over, and spoke the right words to the right people. 'I' had nothing to do with it.

When I unexpectedly say something clever or insightful, the exact thing that I say isn't planned and executed by the 'I', it just appears to be an attribute of this particular body/mind.

Observing speaking was easier to do when looking back at conversations than when in the conversation. Today I'll try more to observe during.

Thank you.

[s-p-a-c-e]

Thank you! Great work. You are uncovering how it is.

[Periwinkle]

Hi,

Some questions are rising as I'm observing conversations.

I think I witnessed the 'I' jumping in and interpreting someone's comments as hurtful, or as an infringement on its/my freedom - or is this simply the personality of this particular body/mind?

Put another way, does the real person who is actually here, separate from the 'I', ever get upset?

My sense is that it appears to be upset in this 'movie' but there is nothing actually happening. In the same way that there is no 'I' on my side, there is no 'I' on their side either so those comments I'm interpreting as hurtful are just sounds.

Thanks.

[s-p-a-c-e]

I think I witnessed the 'I' jumping in and interpreting someone's comments as hurtful, or as an infringement on its/my freedom - or is this simply the personality of this particular body/mind?

If comments are seen as hurtful, then you can bet your bottom dollar :) there's a sense of a 'me' to which the hurt applies.
This 'me', being a fabrication, cannot be hurt.
But by identifying AS 'me', we work hard to make sure we are hurt.

Funny creatures aren't we. :)

Put another way, does the real person who is actually here, separate from the 'I', ever get upset?

No. Not in the sense of personally upset.
Chop an ancient oak tree down to make a car park for a kebab shop, and you can be sure, there'll be anger and sorrow.

My sense is that it appears to be upset in this 'movie' but there is nothing actually happening. In the same way that there is no 'I' on my side, there is no 'I' on their side either so those comments I'm interpreting as hurtful are just sounds.

Well, I'd leave 'their side' to them. :)

So, on your side, you can:

Observe hurtful comments aimed at 'you'.
Identify as 'you' and feel hurt. Be the target.
Observe 'you' and feel no hurt. See the target.
See that 'you' is made-up fiction. See no target.

Ponder on this, and continue to play with the exercise - see what shows up.

Ta!
John

[Periwinkle]

This 'me', being a fabrication, cannot be hurt.

This jumped out at me when I read it. Of course. This is hilarious. The lengths I go to to protect something that doesn't exist.

Chop an ancient oak tree down to make a car park for a kebab shop, and you can be sure, there'll be anger and sorrow.

Fascinating.

Observe hurtful comments aimed at 'you'.
Identify as 'you' and feel hurt. Be the target.
Observe 'you' and feel no hurt. See the target.
See that 'you' is made-up fiction. See no target.

Ponder on this, and continue to play with the exercise - see what shows up.

With pleasure.

[s-p-a-c-e]

This jumped out at me when I read it. Of course. This is hilarious. The lengths I go to to protect something that doesn't exist.

You got it. :)

[Periwinkle]

I'm seeing that all hurtful comments either come from 'me' or are imagined as coming from others by 'me.' It's almost impossible to see it while it's happening and I’m in it. After the fact, I am able to go back and reexamine it, which does remove the charge from it.

So help me understand the process. I go through a series of exercises and inquiries, which gradually loosen the concreteness of the “I” until… what? Does seeing just pop or is it more of a gradual thing?

Thanks.

[s-p-a-c-e]

I'm seeing that all hurtful comments either come from 'me' or are imagined as coming from others by 'me.' It's almost impossible to see it while it's happening and I’m in it. After the fact, I am able to go back and reexamine it, which does remove the charge from it.

Ok, we're not trying to remove charges or make things better. I know buddhists are obsessed with suffering and its eradication, but that is their problem.

I'm not sure how easy it will be for you to extricate from the buddhist mind-fuck you've been subjected to. But, it will help clear away the dirt if you can move in that direction, and keep our focus on how 'me' shows up, and what it is made of.

So help me understand the process. I go through a series of exercises and inquiries, which gradually loosen the concreteness of the “I” until… what? Does seeing just pop or is it more of a gradual thing?

There's no process, no steps to enlightenment, no guarantee, no thing.

Now, reading this there is likely a sense of looking out from behind the eyes.
Its a very compelling experience, looking out of the eyes.
Yet light is coming the other way.
There is receiving of light.

Sit for a while and receive light.
It is given.
Notice what that is like.
Notice how it contrasts with looking out.

With best wishes,
John

[Periwinkle]

Ok, we're not trying to remove charges or make things better.

Understood.

I know buddhists are obsessed with suffering and its eradication, but that is their problem.

LOL!

I'm not sure how easy it will be for you to extricate from the buddhist mind-fuck you've been subjected to. But, it will help clear away the dirt if you can move in that direction, and keep our focus on how 'me' shows up, and what it is made of.

It was a tough pill to swallow, but I think I’ve understood that my religious practice was superstition. And appreciate being kept on point!

There's no process, no steps to enlightenment, no guarantee, no thing.

!!!

Now, reading this there is likely a sense of looking out from behind the eyes.
Its a very compelling experience, looking out of the eyes.
Yet light is coming the other way.
There is receiving of light.

Sit for a while and receive light.
It is given.
Notice what that is like.
Notice how it contrasts with looking out.

Receiving light is just that, receiving; it’s open, it's big, clear, colorful, sparkling, it owes me nothing, it's complete, and it's effortless.

Looking out has the distinct sense of “me” doing the looking which brings with it labeling, owning, categorizing, comparing, judging, wishing it were different, and exhausting.

Thanks.

[s-p-a-c-e]

Receiving light is just that, receiving; it’s open, it's big, clear, colorful, sparkling, it owes me nothing, it's complete, and it's effortless.

Looking out has the distinct sense of “me” doing the looking which brings with it labeling, owning, categorizing, comparing, judging, wishing it were different, and exhausting.

Cool. Now, that distinct sense of "me" doing the looking - see if you can home in on a seeming location, a kind of "me" HQ.

Hint: unlikely to be in the left little toe. :)

Thank you!
John

[Periwinkle]

Cool. Now, that distinct sense of "me" doing the looking - see if you can home in on a seeming location, a kind of "me" HQ.

It seems to be in the head, sort of wrapped around behind the eyes.

[s-p-a-c-e]

It seems to be in the head, sort of wrapped around behind the eyes.

It is indeed. And its been there, how long?

[Periwinkle]

It is indeed. And its been there, how long?

I can't recall a time without it.

[s-p-a-c-e]

It is indeed. And its been there, how long?

I can't recall a time without it.

Indeed. Meet "me".

[Periwinkle]

Indeed. Meet "me".

Yes, I can feel/sense it.