The Gate

Mornin Jackie!

I can't find anything, not one thing - they even try to explain dreams (meaning of etc). They explain, label and make stories about everything that exists - including this person/body.

So back to the redio analogy - Nice feelings - a song on the radio, uncomfortable feelings - another song, one thought - one more song, the body - a song on the radio. Just watch and notice. Notice one rise, give its all in and to the moment till it fades and is gone.

I can't find anything, not one thing - they even try to explain dreams (meaning of etc). They explain, label and make stories about everything that exists - including this person/body.

Notice this. Get curious about this! Have fun with it! :)

I can't see anything that's doing the noticing, it's a blank space. I can't understand how noticing is happening (because it is) if there's no noticer. Is it awareness? But what 'thing' is being aware? Noticing doesn't 'mind' any experience (good or bad) because it's just watching and not attaching.

Lovely! Can you rest there? If not no worries. However I want you to keep checking in to see if this noticing is ever not there or accessible. Does it ever not want something there? Does it prefer one tune or song over another?
Hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah,
I’m having lots of fun with this and I’m laughing at it all. Thoughts/feelings do come and go but they’re no longer very ‘sticky’. Everything is exactly the same but different somehow. Not sure I can ‘rest’ just yet because ‘I’m’ so excited with it all and still a bit unsure about ‘unseeing’ again if that makes sense.
‘Noticing’ doesn’t prefer one tune over another at the moment, but this is just everyday stuff or ‘past experience’ thoughts. At the moment life is just flowing with no glitches so I’ll wait and see. But what is noticing Sarah? It’s like a mind-switch from experience to watching. Wish I could explain this better.
Love and lots of thanks
Jackie
x

Mornin Jackie!
You: I’m having lots of fun with this and I’m laughing at it all. Thoughts/feelings do come and go but they’re no longer very ‘sticky’.

Me: 'No longer very sticky' another song in the radio! 'and still a bit unsure about ‘unseeing’ again' another song on the radio. 'Another glitch' is yet another song. 'I've identified again' another. Body image another. A thought about.........another. Do you see? Try the mirror and body exercise again.

How can you I see what has been seen? Where is the you to un-see?

You: But what is noticing Sarah? It’s like a mind-switch from experience to watching.

Me: is it? Noticing isn't experiencing? But noticing is happening yes? Sit with this noticing. What do you notice about this noticing! Get curious about it! What is it? What is it made up of? Nothing or everything? What is NOT experienced in this noticing?
Hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah,
So sorry for the delay in replying - babysitting weekend which was a challenge!

Me: 'No longer very sticky' another song in the radio! 'and still a bit unsure about ‘unseeing’ again' another song on the radio. 'Another glitch' is yet another song. 'I've identified again' another. Body image another. A thought about.........another. Do you see? Try the mirror and body exercise again.

Yes, I see! I've been trying too hard when everything is really so simple. The mirror exercise was completely different. Just watching with no thoughts, just awareness of movement, shape and colours and nothing else. Hand wiggling was really funny.

How can you I see what has been seen? Where is the you to un-see?

No me at all. Just awareness and effortless 'being' You can't 'unsee' what is.

Me: is it? Noticing isn't experiencing? But noticing is happening yes? Sit with this noticing. What do you notice about this noticing! Get curious about it! What is it? What is it made up of? Nothing or everything? What is NOT experienced in this noticing?

Noticing is just being aware - it's not 'made' of anything but includes everything - does that make sense? It's like an experience in the oneness of everything.

What is not experienced in this noticing is 'ME'

You are amazing Sarah, thanks again
Love Jackie
x

Hey Jackie!
No worries about late replies!

Noticing is just being aware - it's not 'made' of anything but includes everything - does that make sense? It's like an experience in the oneness of everything. What is not experienced in this noticing is 'ME'

Can you rest there?
Is seeking happening there?
Are there any questions there?
What if unsettling feelings happen or frustration or fear - can you look from there? Have a go. What do you notice?
Hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah,

I can easily rest there and I don't feel the need to seek any more. Everything is just so simple. I don't have any questions left to answer, but I would like to explore more. Not sure where or what but the inspiration will come I'm sure.
Funnily enough I have been looking at the hurt, frustration and fear and it still happens. It just needed to be accepted and allowed to move on. No obsessive analysing of thoughts or story just recognition of things just as they are and knowing the thoughts can't hurt.
As Mr. Spock would say - 'fascinating'!

Love and thanks Sarah
Jackie
x

Hey Jackie
You: I can easily rest there and I don't feel the need to seek any more. Everything is just so simple. I don't have any questions left to answer, but I would like to explore more.

Me: has the illusion of self been revealed? You have no doubts?

You: It just needed to be accepted and allowed to move on. No obsessive analysing of thoughts or story just recognition of things just as they are and knowing the thoughts can't hurt.

Me: where is the acceptor? Is that thought wanting something other than what is? Look.
Hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah,

Me: has the illusion of self been revealed? You have no doubts?

I have no doubts Sarah.

Me: where is the acceptor? Is that thought wanting something other than what is? Look.

Just old habits of expression there. It's hard to describe but it's just a flow and there's no awareness of any 'wanting something other than what is'. It's like everything is just the same but different. Going with the flow so to speak. No 'eureka' moment.

Love Jackie
x

Hey Lynda

I have no doubts Sarah.

OK then. I want you to take your time with these. Answer them in as much detail as you feel is needed to be clear.

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

Anything to add?
Have fun!
Hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah,

I've used a lot of 'I's but it's hard to communicate without.

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, there never was, just life happening.

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

This illusion of self began as an infant. Words and language have a big part to play in this illusion. Parents give you a name and so you 'become' a person who is separate from others. 'Given' your life by the world without questioning it. I never felt truly at ease with this world and became a victim (in my mind, Sarah) of every person and circumstance. I felt like I didn't belong and didn't want to.

The illusion is that we are all separate beings in control of 'our' life which has to be protected and we have to 'be' someone instead of just being. We and everything else in this play are just one great ocean of life.

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

There hasn't been a big reaction apart from 'it was there all the time, why couldn't I see it?' Plus a quiet smile.

I first said I just wanted to stop fighting life, and that has happened. Nagging worries have stopped. 'Story of life' problems still come up but they are seen also as part of everything and not a 'blip' that has to be agonized over or controlled. They just happen, pass and are gone.

Guilt has gone - there really was not guilt to 'answer to'. No more compulsions to keep going when I am tired because this or that needs doing, I just rest now and start again when I am ready or get the chance.

What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Funnily enough, the 'fight' did it. I was striving too hard and had had enough of 'intellectually' getting it but not truly 'seeing'.

After reading the piece by Joan Tollifson you kindly sent me, all the fear of 'not getting it' or 'losing it again' left me and I just kind of relaxed into it. No big 'this is it' moment. Just realised I was already here and had been all along.

So, I started with trying to 'get it' then on to intellectually understanding it. Then frustration mixed with anger because 'it' wouldn't stick, going around the houses to try and find what was already there. After releasing all the 'angst', frustration and questions I realised I'd never been anywhere else.

Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

Not at all, although I used to think so. Yesterday I was reading Joan Tollifson's book 'Nothing to Grasp' when all of a sudden thoughts kicked in on a tangent ( I presume a word or phrase in the book triggered them). It was a story about what I would do if I was on a world cruise which had been taken over by terrorists! I have no idea where that came from and I really laughed. I live in a quiet village with no great urge to travel so it was utterly beyond me why the thoughts would go in that direction. There is no control of events Sarah, you only have to look at what happened to my 'chilling' plans for the weekend. Never happened. And that definately was nothing to do with 'me' lol. I suppose some 'happenings' or 'events' do seem to start with 'me' (booking train tickets, choosing to go out for a meal etc) but really they don't. This leads to this leads to this without any help from 'me'.

Anything to add?

Everything and nothing has changed. I still have preferences and dislikes but they're also part of 'lifeing'. Everything is.

I would also like to add a very big thank you Sarah. For sharing and helping people in this 'ocean of life'. I feel it comes as part of realisation to want to help others to 'see'. After all, the help benefits all of life.

Love Lynda lol
x

Hey Lynda
Thanks for that. Ive sent you a pm. Ill get back to you as soon as possible! :)
Hugs S xx

Hi Sarah,

I can't see a pm anywhere

Love Jackie
x

Hi Lynda
I think it's sent it to your own email! Can you check your emails, maybe your spam/trash area too! Let me know if you can't see it! Lol
Hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah, just seen it.
Must admit I'm a bit of a technophobe and have no idea how to work Facebook. I've always avoided it. Is it essential that I join? Willing to but clueless lol.

Is there a reason you're calling me Lynda by the way? Just hoping you're not mixing me up with someone else that's all.

Love Jackie
X

Hi Sarah,

An addition to the above post. I've had a look at the 'after the gate' forum and would like to know how I can register for that. I'm so excited to go further with this. Do I just post to you? Could do with a full set of instructions. I'm sure I've probably been sent or directed to them but I'm still a bit confused.

Love Jackie
x