The Gate

Yes, what are they? (I know you sent them, but I forgot)

There is no rush - you can answer them all at once or one or two at a time, what feels best to you.

Just remember to answer from your direct experience.


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

6) Anything to add?

Hi Sandra, some of the answers may be the same as before, some may be different. I will try to keep my sense of humour out of this and answer as concisely as possible.

1, No. If there is not now, there never was. I will elaborate if you like.

2. The illusion of a separate self is exactly that; an illusion. There is no memory of being very young without one, but I presume we are born without one. It must be gained from environmental influences; our parents and those around us. Mum must keep saying "Shannon, Shannon..." then there must be the thought; "Oh, that's me" Then it all starts: "This feels nice, if I do this I will get more. This feels nasty, what can I do to avoid this... etc. Until a whole story of who I am and what I want, and what I don't want is built up, and called "me". With this "me" comes "mine" and "you" and "yours". Then you have to start defending what's "mine" and getting what you want from "you", and the whole bloody mess gains momentum and is totally believed in! How I see it now looks bloody hilarious! (whops, sense of humour!) But it's true, it just looks ridiculous! That is describing it as I see it now. This belief causes a heap of suffering, and I guess that's not so funny. I'm just glad to be out of it.

3. There is a stillness underneath/behind everything, this is unchanging. There have been many "effects" experienced, some quite wonderful, but the real difference is knowing that all that stuff which I took so seriously "my life" is not real at all. This is liberating. This is liberation.

4. There have been several moments which have made the seeing complete. The one I wrote about last week: Looking, looking, looking for something that I know doe's not exist is a frustrating and pointless exercise. Through this realisation I saw that I knew already. The other was a quite unexplainable occurrence yesterday, when there was a sharp pain in my head, then total clarity. The clarity has not diminished.

5. No, "decisions" just happen, even if they are very calculated. Like weather to paraglide or not, there are many factors taken into consideration for safety etc, then the decision "no" just arrives. Someone said the other day "from your subconscious", I had a good look, and I don't seem to have a subconscious! Anyway I wrote a whole load about this the other day with examples, and the same conclusion was arrived at: No.

6. I am happy to go on with the enquiery with you Sandra, I presume that doubts/unclarity will arise. (Again, I am struck by how you are just words that appear on a screen, but thank you so much). The looking continues, but the search is over. Much love.

Thank you for your answers! I will talk with you soon. Have a good night, Shannon :)
Much love, Sandra

Good morning, Shannon.
I'm going to send you an e-mail.