The Gate

Are you ok...? Looking back in a mess of these days I see I was doing whatever only not to look. And a lot of possibilities came - all the tempting things to stick to and to loose any desire to see the truth. And a sedative thought that it is not my falt because it's happening by itself. But the desire turned out to be a stubborn thing, when the waves subside it is still here, even more persistent. Maybe it's just a very slow-going case. I've always been very slow about everything I really love. I just hope I don't waste you time. All I can say I feel different now - all the things about physical being have a slight difference in them and the way I see everything is strange. I look at all actions as if from the point of wordless doubt ingraned somewhere deep inside - the doubt whether it is me doing them. I don't know where it goes from here but it feels like I can't jump the track.

Are you ok...? Looking back in a mess of these days I see I was doing whatever only not to look. And a lot of possibilities came - all the tempting things to stick to and to loose any desire to see the truth. And a sedative thought that it is not my falt because it's happening by itself. But the desire turned out to be a stubborn thing, when the waves subside it is still here, even more persistent. Maybe it's just a very slow-going case. I've always been very slow about everything I really love. I just hope I don't waste you time. All I can say I feel different now - all the things about physical being have a slight difference in them and the way I see everything is strange. I look at all actions as if from the point of wordless doubt ingraned somewhere deep inside - the doubt whether it is me doing them. I don't know where it goes from here but it feels like I can't jump the track.

What feels different? In what way is everything seen strange?

There is doubt, who has that doubt?

Look when or right after how actions take place!

Drop the need to do something perfect to become perfect...

Just pick any time, an hour or so, sit or stand, opened or closed eyes, and just watch thought, just watch them, dont get into the content at all, and watch everything unfold. Thoughts will pass that you like, thoughts will pass that you dont like, thoughts will pass that this is nonsense, that your not doing it right and to stop, to do something more fun or important, but stick at it, see the thoughts unfold, are you doing the thinking? Controlling the exact content of the thought? Arent it just thoughts that tell you something is not right and has to change and done perfectly and that you arent perfect? Arent it thoughts that say you havent seen what is pointed out or cant see it..............................yet


Do this propperly, allow it to unfold and see... Dont tell me what is thought onlyw hat is seen.


What is there besides thoughts and sensations?


Are you doing them?

Oh god gracious this is not about just seeing that there is no one to do the seeing! I knew it from the very beginning! I've been looking at my hand and for the second it felt like it's the same - the one who looks and the hand! That's what is happening and I can't stop it! Can i? There is nothing at all, nothing to look at and no looking!!!! Dammit

Oh god gracious this is not about just seeing that there is no one to do the seeing! I knew it from the very beginning! I've been looking at my hand and for the second it felt like it's the same - the one who looks and the hand! That's what is happening and I can't stop it! Can i? There is nothing at all, nothing to look at and no looking!!!! Dammit

That is not what is happening or about you stopping it or not, it is already the case. Everything is there just no differentiation. Nothing to do the looking, but looking is there, only it is impermanent and no you doing it! Do you see?

Indeed not looking at anything in particular, looking what is really happening and if you are really doing it...

So you are seeing that your not your body (afterall all your cells have renewed, something is there all this time), not the senses belonging to the body, not the thoughts nor the feeling. So if your not all that ask ''what am I then?'' look what is felt, let looking unfold, are you doing the looking? No? Then what do I consider to be me? Thoughts come and label the I this or that, are you doing this thinking? Who or what experiences the thoughts? I, so then what do I consider this I to be?

Just sit with it, begin with eyes closed, do this inquiry for whatever comes up or happens, who or what experienses it? I, so then what is that? Is there such a thing? Where? There is nothing more to it! Dont limit it to that time though, do it every moment you can, when doing something wonder who is doing it? I, what is it?

Still one thing to consider, in deep sleep nothing is there, not even the feeling I am, yet there is an unconditional happy peaceful sleep, but when awake there are suddenly all kinds of conditions to that happines, how come? Can you be what is impermanently there or only that which is permanently here?

Really consider this! If every 7 years EVERY cell of the body is totally renewed, then what has remained all this time? Not body/senses/mind and its feelings and thoughts, then what remains which can be I? Anything?


So there you have it... This is it! Thats all I got, the rest is up to you... Know that it is not a doing but a seeing! Keep looking and inquiring like this and seeing the reality will be!

GO! start now!

Do so and when ready post direct answers to questions in this post, okay?

I still didn't finish with the previous thing about watching the thoughts, but okay!

That is not separate from this, combine them, alternate between them...

All in your experience can be used to see if you are any of it, isn't it all impermanent? What are you? Anything?

Look for yourself, do not depend on me, depend on reality!

Hi ms Heart, how are thing going? Tell me whats going on, what are the obstacles if any?

Maybe it's because in my native language personal pronouns are not obligatory and I rarely use them in my thoughts.

I can't find out where they come from or is there something behind them having them because wherever I look there are only thoughts, nothing else. The Matrix got me! :)))))

Wow what language, want to learn ;))

Only thoughts, no I doing them... loud or not, thoughts will come, stop and go on, what is aware of this happening? Whatever is seen cannot be you by definition, it all needs to be seen to know its happening right? For this you need to be conscious, are you always conscious? What is there when your not?

Oh god gracious this is not about just seeing that there is no one to do the seeing! I knew it from the very beginning! I've been looking at my hand and for the second it felt like it's the same - the one who looks and the hand! That's what is happening and I can't stop it! Can i? There is nothing at all, nothing to look at and no looking!!!! Dammit

This here is close, but it is about what is and has been true always, just saying that this is further a clear post... Although something is there alright, which has been given many a name, although it cannot be named or objectified, it is that which is always...

Which can be known for certain is what your not by way of negation, so for all the sensations and thought look if you are that or not, what is left?

Look beyond thoughts, words and concepts... Have read back and although this bit might sound a bit contradictory, do with it what you like just the other half of the same coin...