No One Ever Wakes Up

[HappyRichard]

Hi Stacy. I've been reading Gateless Gatecrashers... I saw no self again yesterday. I'm aware today that there is no self. No further thoughts are arising to challenge that. I don't need to keep watching tons of YT videos on the topic or reading so many books... basically, I can stop searching for it. This is how I'm thinking and feeling now... will be interesting to see if it's the same later today. Thanks ;)

[Anastacia42]

That's great, Rich. Let me know when to put like to answer the checkpoint questions.

Loving,

[HappyRichard]

I'm ready to answer the questions.

[Anastacia42]

Okay! Sorry about the typos. I do this on my phone.


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Loving

[HappyRichard]

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No and No

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion is that there is a "me" inside or somewhere. There isn't. It starts as soon as we are taught that there is an "I" or "me." So probably when we are 2 years old. The way it works is thoughts arise with feelings and we can see objects that added together make us think that we are this body/mind. The machinery of thoughts and feelings about "I" continues as before. Seeing that there isn't a self here doesn't change anything. Like seeing that Santa isn't real didn't change anything. It's just another fact. Everything stays the same.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

The experience is the same as it was before, no difference as far as can be perceived. Thoughts still arise, feelings still happen... life goes on.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Reading GatelessGatecrashers did it.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Decisions are made and appear in my consciousness as if a "me" made the decision. Intention, free will, choice, control are illusions that arise as thoughts and feelings of "I" and "me."

It's all just thoughts arising and disappearing about an "I" who is this way or that way but that's all it is thoughts.

Thank you so much Stacy for taking the time to help with this. I really appreciate it. Thank you

[Anastacia42]

You are welcome.

Your answers will be shared with other guides who may have questions.

I have one. You say nothing is different. In a way. that is true. But are you still seeking something? And do things still upset you the way they used to?

How does it feel to know there's no "self? "

Loving

[HappyRichard]

But are you still seeking something? And do things still upset you the way they used to?

Yes. I'm still seeking (trying to figure things out, how to be happy). I've been updating my psychology for a while. I had $800 go missing from my bag 2 days ago... I looked several times but it's gone. I'm not bothered. I'm happy fo whoever got it. I hope it makes them happy. I really suffer with relationships. Thoughts of how people are really put off by my energy come up that have a sting. I then get thoughts about how those thoughts aren't true. I'm not depressed but very detached.

[HappyRichard]

How does it feel to know there's no "self? "

The same as before I discovered no self. The reason for that is probably not really having a self identity to start with. I heard somewhere (maybe Pernela) that one has to have a hewlthy semse of self before they can realise no self.

[Anastacia42]

We are looking for a shift in perception like what you've read about in Gateless Gatecrashers.

It can be slow & subtle, but seeking drops away. It is usually an expansive. light feeling.

It sounds like there is not any shift, that your understanding is only intellectual, not visceral or embodied.. Is that what you're saying?

Also, what do you mean that you had no self identity to start with?

Loving

[HappyRichard]

We are looking for a shift in perception like what you've read about in Gateless Gatecrashers

.
I dont think I have been able to detect such a shift.

It can be slow & subtle, but seeking drops away. It is usually an expansive. light feeling

. If I should stop seeking I can try to do that. In fact I have tried but it doesn't last more than a day.

It sounds like there is not any shift, that your understanding is only intellectual, not visceral or embodied.. Is that what you're saying?

if there is a shift I'm not detecting it.

Also, what do you mean that you had no self identity to start with?

Pernille Damore mentioned in a video I watched a year ago that we need a healthy sense of self in order to see no self. She teaches the fetter model. As such, what thoughts arise here is that I'm not having any noticeable shift due to having a week sense of self.
Loving

[Anastacia42]

Okay. Thank you.

No shift usually means we aren't finished.

Yes, I think I saw a video where Pernille said that. Did she say where she guides a person in that case?

Loving,

[HappyRichard]

Hi Stacy, thanks.
I'm going through Pernille's videos now to see what she has to say about it.
Hope you are well and happy. Thanks again for all the time and help with this. I really appreciate it. Identification with thoughts today has been really rough. I see how the more I let go of all the thoughts about controlling stuff the more uncomfortable it gets... I'm practicing "surrendering" and "allowing." I'm not micro managing things in my life... it gets uncomfortable. I'll report back as soon as I find out what Pernille has to say on the matter.

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

I posted & tagged Pernille & her husband, Todd

2 things.

Todd says: If you want to have him email me at unfetteredmindfulness@gmail.com I can give him access to our inquiry group this Tuesday where we can maybe get more clarity about his situation from him.

And Todd says that next week, Pernille will be releasing a new video on this. So, watch for that.

Loving,

[HappyRichard]

Hi Stacy

Here's a video of Pernille talking about why a strong sense of self is necessary

https://youtu.be/SjYFbZQtkv0?si=gAt7eJkYrppEOFKE

I have been in communication with Todd. I've joined the discord and will attend online meetings.

I am so grateful Stacy. This could be such a positive change as I have beliefs about myself that have caused me to ruin relationships all my life. Such fearful maladaptive strategies. I know that there is no self but at the same time... I feel hopeful about a better life? Not sure how this all works but therapy is probably a very good idea (with the right therapist). I've been such a doubter.

Thanks again for all this support. Life changing :) Could lead to a happier illusion lol

[Anastacia42]

After you can say there's 100% definitely no separate "self," we have some traditional checkpoint questions. Let me know if you become ready for those.

Keep posting & let me know what is coming up.

Therapy might be a good idea or facilitation in The Work of Byron Katie to question stressful thoughts. They have a free hotline.

Loving,