Cheese

[Magdalena]

You say

There is no I.

Then why did it feel like someone needed to say that?

Where’s the silence behind it?

If there’s no “I,” who typed it?

Who was hoping it would land?

What changed in your actual, lived experience between “I exist” and “there is no I”?

Where is that shift showing up?
Not in words—
in the absence of someone managing anything.

Look again.

Don't tell me “there is no I.”
Show me what’s left when the I is actually gone.

[Cheese]

It seemed like a natural response as no I could be found. There is a sense of I though otherwise everything is happening on automatic. I am not sure what is true.

[Magdalena]

No “I” could be found

— but who looked?
Who came back to report the findings?

You say that

There is a sense of I.

Good. Of course there is.
There’s also a sense of center when you spin in circles — doesn’t make it real.

Now stop.
Right now.
Drop the reporting. Drop the logical conclusions.

Look.

Is there an “I” doing any of this right now?

Typing? Thinking? Responding?
Or are those just happening, and thought comes after to say “I’m doing this”?

Don’t tell me what you believe.
Don’t tell me what you think is true.

SHOW ME the “I.”

If it’s real, it’ll be here now.

So where is it?

[Cheese]

I don’t know.

[Magdalena]

Then stay there.
Don’t say another word.

“I don’t know” is only the right answer when there’s no one left who needs it to be.

If you really don’t know—stop.

Stop searching, analyzing, writing, explaining.

Let “I don’t know” swallow you completely.

Don’t respond until something real breaks.

Or don’t respond at all.

Either way—this isn’t a game anymore.

[Cheese]

But I don’t know since a long time.

[Magdalena]

You’ve

not known for a long time?

Then what are you still doing here?

Really—if you truly don’t know,
and there’s no one to know,
then stop acting like there’s something to figure out.

But you're still showing up. Still typing.
Still clinging to the identity of the one who doesn’t know—
like that’s something meaningful.

It’s not.
It’s just another mask.

You’re not confused.
You’re just not finished with performing.

So either stop pretending and let it all fall—
or admit you still want the illusion.

No more in-between.

[Cheese]

Do I want the illusion? I am confused as to what to do next? You said to stay in the not knowing but drop the identity.

[Magdalena]

You're confused about what to do next?

Good.

Now look:
Who is confused?

Don’t tell me.
Don’t think about it.

Just stop.
Let the confusion be there—without the one who’s confused.

That’s what I meant.
Not a practice. Not a step.
Just this: confusion, arising in no one.

Stay with that—or keep pretending.
Your call.

[Cheese]

Why do you imply I am pretending?

[Magdalena]

Because you're still showing up as someone.
Someone confused.
Someone wanting to know what’s next.
Someone asking why I'm saying what I’m saying.

That’s pretending.

Not consciously, not maliciously—
just the habitual need to keep being “you.”

You say there’s no I.
But every word still defends one.

So again—
stop asking questions.

Let it all fall.
Let even this reaction burn without needing to protect it.

Otherwise yes—you're pretending.