Hmm looking closer at the words in my head - they don’t necessarily imply a self, again. Like, I’m hearing a voice. I can feel that it is just shapeless, and in this way it feels more endless, or nothing, like another space of existence (really working on not imagining a space here).
When looking what is seen? Right now, it feels a little like nothing again. Right now it doesn’t feel so familiar either. Like I’m surprised I can move my fingers because it feels distant. This feels like the trippy parts.
During the day it felt more natural, but it’s getting harder to talk about or even understand what’s going on. I feel like I don’t understand this at all. I sometimes get a sense of it being beautiful too, but something around that is unclear too.
It’s already present
Re: It’s already present
"Hmm looking closer at the words in my head - they don’t necessarily imply a self, again."
'Imply' could sound like logical thinking. Beyond logical thinking and words, in direct observation, are thoughts a self or controlled by a self?
"it’s getting harder to talk about or even understand what’s going on. I feel like I don’t understand this at all."
Write more about this.
'Imply' could sound like logical thinking. Beyond logical thinking and words, in direct observation, are thoughts a self or controlled by a self?
"it’s getting harder to talk about or even understand what’s going on. I feel like I don’t understand this at all."
Write more about this.
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: It’s already present
Also do this exercise:
Palm Flipping
1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.
2. At some moment, turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.
Watch like a hawk.
Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.
Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:
Did a chooser initiate the flip?
Does a thought control it?
Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
What governs this action of the palm flipping?
Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?
Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?
Palm Flipping
1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.
2. At some moment, turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.
Watch like a hawk.
Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.
Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:
Did a chooser initiate the flip?
Does a thought control it?
Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
What governs this action of the palm flipping?
Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?
Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: It’s already present
Also do this exercise:
Palm Flipping
1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.
2. At some moment, turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.
Watch like a hawk.
Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.
Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:
Did a chooser initiate the flip?
Something did. I mean you asked me to do it. But in direct experience, I don’t know. I’m really looking into the moment of decision, there is no thought there, it’s familiar, but I can’t catch the moment.
Does a thought control it?
No, not a thought. A will, perhaps, which is different then thought.
Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
Today it felt like something just completely happened on its own while I was talking to someone. It became very hard to listen to her but I let words come out of my mouth too on their own. I can feel it now too.
What governs this action of the palm flipping?
I’m not sure. A will. What is writing right now? What chooses the letters? I’m just watching this with no answers.
Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?
This was completely automatic, not even will involved. What is automatic? What is the difference between this and what seems to act as will?
Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?
I can’t find the will on its own. So I can’t also find the separate self no. But I also don’t find no self, just not knowing.
Re: It’s already present
True will is also an idea, a belief.
Sounds like you keep equating no self with something you could find, a state, an experience, something that exists. And then you keep thinking you have not found it. Imagine you investigated if unicorns exist in your direct experience, and said "I find no unicorns, and I don't find the No-Unicorn and the feeling of No-Unicorn either". Right.
So how is the process moving, feeling? How is fear and ambivalence?
Sounds like you keep equating no self with something you could find, a state, an experience, something that exists. And then you keep thinking you have not found it. Imagine you investigated if unicorns exist in your direct experience, and said "I find no unicorns, and I don't find the No-Unicorn and the feeling of No-Unicorn either". Right.
So how is the process moving, feeling? How is fear and ambivalence?
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: It’s already present
"Still doesn’t work though it did work in the middle of the day…
I see something when you ask if this is all not part of the movement, and the witness dissolves to some degree. What is seen? It’s hard to say, I feel like it’s very subtle and when trying to write about it it turns into an imagination, but that everything is in the same pace, the same…
I’m just going deeper into the sensation of not knowing, then feeling something quite pure which feels more powerful than I understand. These are small moments.
Something with the boundary feels a bit stuck. After we did that exercise for a few days I just sensed like it’s also possible that there is no boundary, and I keep going back to that moment.
Right now the process itself feels stuck, or repetitive. I’m writing this more to understand the mechanism of thinking and not to take this thought too seriously. Im feeling less fear but more stressed today around that.
See you tomorrow "
Beautiful. Yes, trying to understand rationally or to hold on to this we are out of it, out of the direct experience, lose the simplicity/clarity. We don't know what this is, yet we can "learn" to live in/from/as the simplicity/sweetness.
Now look: this innermost quality of direct experience, can we be in touch with it at the same time that we effort to be someone/something extra special, more special then normal?
Here of course I am not speaking of pursuing interests, talents and values with sincerity and creativity as much as possible. I am talking about the craving thoughts to be an extra special extra succesful person.
I see something when you ask if this is all not part of the movement, and the witness dissolves to some degree. What is seen? It’s hard to say, I feel like it’s very subtle and when trying to write about it it turns into an imagination, but that everything is in the same pace, the same…
I’m just going deeper into the sensation of not knowing, then feeling something quite pure which feels more powerful than I understand. These are small moments.
Something with the boundary feels a bit stuck. After we did that exercise for a few days I just sensed like it’s also possible that there is no boundary, and I keep going back to that moment.
Right now the process itself feels stuck, or repetitive. I’m writing this more to understand the mechanism of thinking and not to take this thought too seriously. Im feeling less fear but more stressed today around that.
See you tomorrow "
Beautiful. Yes, trying to understand rationally or to hold on to this we are out of it, out of the direct experience, lose the simplicity/clarity. We don't know what this is, yet we can "learn" to live in/from/as the simplicity/sweetness.
Now look: this innermost quality of direct experience, can we be in touch with it at the same time that we effort to be someone/something extra special, more special then normal?
Here of course I am not speaking of pursuing interests, talents and values with sincerity and creativity as much as possible. I am talking about the craving thoughts to be an extra special extra succesful person.
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: It’s already present
Im having a wave of consciousness, let’s call it that way.
It’s passing by and I’m checking if I can find here the desire to be special, and I can, but more as a craving as you said, something powerful, not so unpleasant, good but in a way that does feel harmful a bit. It is present here, but also that conscious state that is deepening.
Asking here what the openness wants for me, what does the heart want, is just to keep discovering and not rush into conclusions just because of the timing or because I’m saying not so nice things about myself.
Holding back some criticism, but it doesn’t necessarily seem to contradict one another in this point, just maybe allowed me to be more connected to something deeper that underlies below this need to be special.
It’s easier to get back here.
It’s passing by and I’m checking if I can find here the desire to be special, and I can, but more as a craving as you said, something powerful, not so unpleasant, good but in a way that does feel harmful a bit. It is present here, but also that conscious state that is deepening.
Asking here what the openness wants for me, what does the heart want, is just to keep discovering and not rush into conclusions just because of the timing or because I’m saying not so nice things about myself.
Holding back some criticism, but it doesn’t necessarily seem to contradict one another in this point, just maybe allowed me to be more connected to something deeper that underlies below this need to be special.
It’s easier to get back here.
Re: It’s already present
Wonderful.
Do uges to be special and all the normal thoughts like that need to go away for presence/awareness to be there?
Do they come from or point to a separate self? Or where do they come from?
Here is another exercise for you:
Stand in front of a large, well-lit mirror, if not at home, perhaps at work. Notice the image/color in the mirror. Now, also notice any thoughts arising.
Where are the thoughts appearing? Are they floating, contained within something, are they moving?
Where are you in relation to the thoughts? Are you in the thoughts, or are the thoughts in you?
Where are you in relation to the image color? Is there any connection between the the thoughts and the image/color? Is there any connection between you and the image/color? Do movements or changes in the image/color indicate changes in you?
Do uges to be special and all the normal thoughts like that need to go away for presence/awareness to be there?
Do they come from or point to a separate self? Or where do they come from?
Here is another exercise for you:
Stand in front of a large, well-lit mirror, if not at home, perhaps at work. Notice the image/color in the mirror. Now, also notice any thoughts arising.
Where are the thoughts appearing? Are they floating, contained within something, are they moving?
Where are you in relation to the thoughts? Are you in the thoughts, or are the thoughts in you?
Where are you in relation to the image color? Is there any connection between the the thoughts and the image/color? Is there any connection between you and the image/color? Do movements or changes in the image/color indicate changes in you?
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: It’s already present
There was a moment yesterday. I’m feeling it now too.
Just, the entity “no self” disappeared. So there is seeing of just life, and function with just this, whatever’s going on. Right now it feels like this can work, this can work on its own. And I just let go of something and watch it. I looked at the mirror, first of all, thoughts just seemed to be there, not necessarily in the head. And it felt like they are just heard. Then. The entire sight, of me, mirror, room. It was the same substance. Only seeing. In a way, no subject and object (but also a thought regarding this “famous” feeling).
Only seeing… it’s crazy.
Fingers are writing this, but there is in a way far less identification with Zoie right now, just love, and sweetness to “her”, but the feeling is that of being bigger than this.
Or even being bigger is a lie, just, function movement, just there is no need for self or no self to walk in here too. This can happen on its own I guess. This writing. I’m just watching.
Soooo weird.❤️
Just, the entity “no self” disappeared. So there is seeing of just life, and function with just this, whatever’s going on. Right now it feels like this can work, this can work on its own. And I just let go of something and watch it. I looked at the mirror, first of all, thoughts just seemed to be there, not necessarily in the head. And it felt like they are just heard. Then. The entire sight, of me, mirror, room. It was the same substance. Only seeing. In a way, no subject and object (but also a thought regarding this “famous” feeling).
Only seeing… it’s crazy.
Fingers are writing this, but there is in a way far less identification with Zoie right now, just love, and sweetness to “her”, but the feeling is that of being bigger than this.
Or even being bigger is a lie, just, function movement, just there is no need for self or no self to walk in here too. This can happen on its own I guess. This writing. I’m just watching.
Soooo weird.❤️
Re: It’s already present
Yes!! Just continue to watch what unfolds and write soon again 🤍☸️
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: It’s already present
So, it’s hard to talk about.
Just there is a feeling that feels accurate, and it’s the ability to walk into something that just looks at Zoie function. I’m trying not to imagine something that is looking and distancing myself, but just experiencing. It feels like another way of experiencing is operating.
It’s hard to say anything else right now. I’ll try to write again later maybe. There is a very intense experience. There is no watcher of Zoie function. That’s important.
Just there is a feeling that feels accurate, and it’s the ability to walk into something that just looks at Zoie function. I’m trying not to imagine something that is looking and distancing myself, but just experiencing. It feels like another way of experiencing is operating.
It’s hard to say anything else right now. I’ll try to write again later maybe. There is a very intense experience. There is no watcher of Zoie function. That’s important.
Re: It’s already present
Yes yes!
When you feel like having more exercises, listen to this playlist, take one recording at the time. Listen to it while laying down or sitting comfortably. While you listen don't focus on if what is being said is right or wrong (it's at best a helpful pointer, it's not direct experience). Focus on what reactions come by themselves: thoughts, sensations, feelings. I repeat: don't make it about if you understand and agree or not. Just see what unfolds in direct experience while listening. And write me about it.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXbh ... 0g7qZE8lve
When you feel like having more exercises, listen to this playlist, take one recording at the time. Listen to it while laying down or sitting comfortably. While you listen don't focus on if what is being said is right or wrong (it's at best a helpful pointer, it's not direct experience). Focus on what reactions come by themselves: thoughts, sensations, feelings. I repeat: don't make it about if you understand and agree or not. Just see what unfolds in direct experience while listening. And write me about it.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXbh ... 0g7qZE8lve
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: It’s already present
Hey, good morning :)
There are small moments that just feel spot on. That just feel like stillness within this body. I let it do its thing when “I” just watch. I is said because the thought stream is identified with the watching at the moment. But not exactly something found.
It’s present in small moments, sometimes, but it feels deep. Something with just seeing, even this body, just seeing, makes the seer so empty, nothing. (Imagination walks in imagining a transparent self seeing, it’s working extra hard putting this into something imaginable).
Listening to the videos really stirs something inside. It just induces a very direct look with each sentence. I feel like I can’t hide with thoughts. Most of it doesn’t seem to click, or to be completely understood, but really just letting it sink to wherever it needs.
Lots of love.
There are small moments that just feel spot on. That just feel like stillness within this body. I let it do its thing when “I” just watch. I is said because the thought stream is identified with the watching at the moment. But not exactly something found.
It’s present in small moments, sometimes, but it feels deep. Something with just seeing, even this body, just seeing, makes the seer so empty, nothing. (Imagination walks in imagining a transparent self seeing, it’s working extra hard putting this into something imaginable).
Listening to the videos really stirs something inside. It just induces a very direct look with each sentence. I feel like I can’t hide with thoughts. Most of it doesn’t seem to click, or to be completely understood, but really just letting it sink to wherever it needs.
Lots of love.
Re: It’s already present
Good morning - beautiful! :)
Keep going-seeing and write soon again 🌼
Keep going-seeing and write soon again 🌼
With love,
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Elad
Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
- Kahlil Gibran
One gets there by being there.
- Master Woof (Gilbert, Ta Hui)
Re: It’s already present
Hi, I came to write a few times the last days and just stopped.
I see through, right now. I mean. It’s hard. There’s something avoiding writing.
Right now, there are glimpses of moments that seeing, just feels like the only thing there is, just seeing. Nothing seeing. It hits me again and again for a second. Now I can hold on to it a few more seconds while writing this, which is strange. Sentences are written as sound in the head, finger is typing, and still I can feel into a space that is on some level, just seeing.
But, there is a choice to enter there. I don’t know it or understand it. But there is something saying “there is just seeing” or whatever. This is a tricky one.
❤️
I see through, right now. I mean. It’s hard. There’s something avoiding writing.
Right now, there are glimpses of moments that seeing, just feels like the only thing there is, just seeing. Nothing seeing. It hits me again and again for a second. Now I can hold on to it a few more seconds while writing this, which is strange. Sentences are written as sound in the head, finger is typing, and still I can feel into a space that is on some level, just seeing.
But, there is a choice to enter there. I don’t know it or understand it. But there is something saying “there is just seeing” or whatever. This is a tricky one.
❤️
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