Dear Lubo,
I had some more experiences of being aware that people I met where just appearances in that aliveness and that there is no me that can suffer although pain, fear or whatever can be experienced.
What is to find that there is No ONE alive?
Sometimes it is relaxation and a feeling of emptiness. But this is still the idea that I am no one/I am empty .So still the identification with something.
When focusing and exploring the aliveness/power, there is just aliveness, being, thoughts become very rare and if there are some, they are quiet ones. The story and meaning making stops, there is just being and noticing what happens (thoughts, feelings, colors, taste, sounds). Things happen by themselves. What was inside my body and outside my body before becomes all one.
Ok. Notice where is the problem?
Yes, when being reminded by your question it is obvious. There is still the idea that a me has to get somewhere. That there is someone who needs to wake up.
This going in circles is also known?
Yes, this is very familiar. Still the old story that "I" need to move forward. What is just happening is not good enough. Comparing "myself" with imaginary other people who are assumed to move forward so quickly.
That wich knows that, it it in a circle?
That which "realizes" it goes in circles is not there. There is the thought "I am going in circles" and more thoughts about a me feeling stuck, has felt stuck before, should experience something different,.can't see what is there. All this story, but the character of the story is made up, not there, Just thoughts and feelings of disappointed and frustration.
Notice why the story " going in circles" should be a problem?
For whom?
Exactly. No one there who is going in circles. Just the imagination of it and being identified with that character. When this is realized the drama goes away. Just some sensations + thoughts that are sometimes staying and sometimes even go away completely when the aliveness comes into focus. Then there is relaxation or even joy.
Best wishes,
Nicole
