Same words sometimes have different meanings. When LU talks of self, me, and I they mean something specific. In common usage, me can refer to an appearance of a "body" with colors of a "hand" and sound of a "voice"; a bit like apple can refer to an appearance of a certain color and taste. This is not what is meant here. When LU talks about me, they mean a supposed "invisible" entity that can influence what thoughts, colors, and sounds appear; an entity that is the "central controller".1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
After careful observation of direct experience (color, sound, various sensation, and a mysterious thing called thought), it is seen that these things just appear and there seems no possibility to influence it. It is seen in countless experiments that what appears in direct experience happens outside control. In particular, trying to find a supposed central controller ends up leading nowhere. Without any evidence of such an entity, it is hard to suppose such a thing exists. The long-held belief of its existence must thus be discarded due to lack of evidence.
Here is what happens as I'm typing these words.2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
There is a sensation of "typing", there are colors of "letters" appearing on the "screen". There is a thought "where do these words come from?". No answer. There is a thought "this sentence needs to be slightly changed". More sensation of "typing", more letters appearing.
Afterwards, there may be a question "Who typed these letters?" or "Who had these thoughts?". I may answer with "I typed these letters, I had these thoughts". Previously, it may have been believed some controlling entity within did this. Now, it is seen that these things just happen by themselves. And when the word "I" is used, it refers to direct experience here and possibly an appearance of a body, voice, and associated phenomena.
I notice no big change in direct experience.3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
For me, the most important part was definitional and experiential.4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Definitional: Understanding what LU meant by me or separate self. (Since I'd had insights previously and used other terminology here.)
Experiential: direct experience, careful looking, carefully examining the evidence.
Decision: A lot of "decision" seems to happen without awareness of it, there is simply a recognition (thought) of "a changed state". Other decision here happens in awareness: it involves sensation, thoughts "options", thoughts "decision", color and sensation "action". In summary: an interplay of thinking and various sensation.5) Describe decision,
intention,
free will,
choice and control.
What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from experience.
Intention: thoughts appearing.
Free will: thoughts appearing.
Choice and Control: thoughts appearing.
Assuming you here means a supposed inner "controller" and responsible means "ability to influence things", then, since no evidence of such a controller can be found here, there is nothing that the "I" can be responsible for.What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
In a broader sense, there is an appearance of a you, that is, a body/brain that does seemingly influence things, does take care of its body (involving thinking and various sensation), and other appearances. However, there is no inner controller that does it, rather it's something that happens by a decentralized interplay of thinking and sensation. This interplay is the essence of awareness; there's no evidence of an entity that controls it, there's no evidence of an entity that manages it, the interplay just happens. Awareness happens.
There seems to be inner confusion. On the one hand, it is recognized that there's no entity that controls by lack of evidence... it is looked again and again and again... and no controller is detected. On the other hand, there is still voluminous thinking/sensation appearing whose content seems to suppose there is control and a central entity of some kind. Maybe this is inevitable and the shift in content will happen gradually.6) Anything to add?
