Hand on the gate

[Lubo]

Hi Charmain,

Sorry for delay.
I feel your reply is very deep and honest. Thank you.

There is 'charmain' thinking ideas about 'not good enough' and there being 'something missing'

let's find this part that is not good enough. This part is ashamed and it doesn't want to show itself. gently find what is the shame?
Something missing, notice lacк of what? Allow imagination to bring God's hand in front of you and you have right for one desire.
When you are ready...Take this hand and ask!

...but catching that as just an idea -a realisation that it is these ideas that keep the sense of charmain going.

Some part are contracted, injured, shamed.
You are not guilty about that. Let's find and heal this part of us with loving attention.

Love
Lubo
PS This evening Luchana has an exploration meeting . If you want to join write me.

[LoveEd]

Hi Lubo

All perfect with the timing.

Enquiring with the part that doesn't feel good enough and what that actually means! Not good enough for what? what does it mean to be not good enough. When dropping down through the meaning of it, it all leads to a fear - of being left / abandoned somehow. Like there is a system of life going on that it can't be good enough for - a sense of 'others' getting it right and this one not getting things right. The shame keeps relating to letting others down because it can't figure it out properly or won't listen to whats expected. On deeper enquiry - there doesn't seem to be a real penalty though for any of this - its all just a sensation of dread. What is there to be truly guilty about? I can't find that answer. Taking God's hand can seem like a betrayal to the attachments and roles, although again on enquiry, these are ways to sustain chairman, perpetually trying to get it right. God's hand is always there - only the fear gets in the way of taking it. Its like a circling round, hand of God, fear, no meaning, take hand of God, fear, no meaning, take hand of God ...... :-)

With love

[Lubo]

Hi Charmain,
Thank you. You did amazing work!

You found what voice of shame explain:

Like there is a system of life going on that it can't be good enough for - a sense of 'others' getting it right and this one not getting things right.

The shame keeps relating to letting others down because it can't figure it out properly or won't listen to whats expected

Let's de-shame this part.
Connect wind this shamed part and invite her for a dance.
Ask her "My dear, I see you, you are so beautiful. No need to hide.
The voce of shame is stupid and it is not a voice of truth
You are good enough and you belongs here.
You are not here to pleased others.
No need to fit in any pattern of good or right
You are beautiful exactly what you are.
You deserve love and no need to change any thing or to do anything in order to deserve love.

it all leads to a fear - of being left

and also hug the same part and tell her: "I am here I am your home, I am your mammy. I never left you. I love you so much. I never left you alone.
Notice my dear that you are accepted and loved already.
And you no need evidence from anyone else about this"

Stay with this part enough time. This part deserve loving attention and support.
And notice how this part feels ?
Invite your power, your anger to take care for her little sister.
Ask "My dear anger can you protect your little sister from this arrogant shame? Who is stronger you or shame?"
What is the anger's answer ?

How this part feels under anger's protection? Is it feels safe?

Love and freedom,
lubo

[LoveEd]

Thank you so much Lubo

Such a sense of relief, like a de-pressuring of a pressure that I didn't know was there. Relief, relief and so many tears, there are still tears now writing this. I may cry the rest of the day.

That part feels so much pressure, it was resolute that it was on its own and then then everything she constructed came from that premise. There wasn't an option to realise otherwise, just a pressure to defend herself from more pain ALL THE TIME. She got so absorbed in that story, lost in a maze of doing. So much responsibility and then worry about not living up to it all. Living up to what and for whom? I can feel a letting go of that ... nothing to do to prove or to be deserving of the love, nobody to reject or abandon. Nothing to do to prove worth. No matter what.

There is another part there that is her protector, it feels like its pushing everything back, telling everything to back off so she can have space and cry. Feels like a representative of God. There is nothing she need do, she's having time to cry right now in safety. Will stay with her.

With love x

[Lubo]

Wonderful proces.
Tears are here because of the healing proces. Yes. Stay with it.

She got so absorbed in that story, lost in a maze of doing. So much responsibility and then worry about not living up to it all. Living up to what and for whom? I can feel a letting go of that ... nothing to do to prove or to be deserving of the love, nobody to reject or abandon. Nothing to do to prove worth. No matter what.

Yes. This is living in non duality. Every "should" is voice in a desert, nothing should be done, noting to deserve, no purpose, nothing to fix.
You are what you are already. Everything is done. This is it :) The only purpose is to live in your desire, you are here for this.

There is another part there that is her protector, it feels like its pushing everything back, telling everything to back off so she can have space and cry. Feels like a representative of God. There is nothing she need do, she's having time to cry right now in safety. Will stay with her.

Yes. wonderful. Notice that protector is uncompromising and so powerful.

Write me tomorrow what is unfolding.

Love and love,
Lubo

[LoveEd]

Yes thank you Lubo will stay with the process and let you know

There is a sense of a very drained and fragile chairman curled up being protected, more tears ......

will write again tomorrow

with love
thank you x

[LoveEd]

Hi Lubo
Woke up this morning very relaxed - like a weight has been lifted. Dreamt about winning something. The constant review of what is going on and what needs to happen has lifted - there are flashes of things but its like they can't really impact, theres no charge. There is a lot going on with lots of people today but a sense of peace and relaxation. Still a sense of tears if I 'go there', but a softness and knowing everything is just okay. Taking God's hand, there is a presence with a beautiful smile, the tears are maybe on joining with this presence. Soft peace.

Thank you

I will write again later.
x

[Lubo]

Calmness and relaxation arrive here .
This is so beautiful:

Taking God's hand, there is a presence with a beautiful smile, the tears are maybe on joining with this presence. Soft peace.

Soft peace, this resonate deep with me.
let's say this is the reality, notice what is here to disturb this? Investigate everything that is not soft peace?
This the way :)

I am here. I am holding you.

Love and light,
Lubo

[LoveEd]

Good morning Lubo
Thank you.
I'm still in peace. Its still like a softening. There are some thoughts about things but with no charge to them. Theres a letting go of the sense that they are in any way 'important', or matter perhaps, so no charge. They are not disturbing. Im smiling at the idea that they matter!!! what matters? why? :-) There's a constant state of noticing too, not being pulled out or just mind wandering off, like something is staying close??

I am going to stay with this noticing today and will weed out ANY disturbance if it arises - so far though - its still.

Thank you Lubo - This stillness is so beautiful ... NOTHING MATTERS - there are no repercussions or punishments or anyone to upset. Its like a soundtrack has been switched off!

I can report back later!

Much much love

[LoveEd]

Hi Lubo

Just checking in again. So, there was a task hanging around in the background involving contacting a bunch of people, left not done. I noticed a ripple of feeling when I remembered it ... much milder .. its like I'm circling it, seeing how it is now. Im not going to fix it, Im just going to leave it there - no need to try and rescue the sense of the situation, it just is - there is nothing hanging really. Im just curious around it. Like it can't really get anywhere.

Deeper sense of presence, I'm just being with whats in front of me. No thinking ahead. Just a whisper to get my car in the garage on Tuesday. Not a disturbance because it will be what it will be.

Found a letter in the hall I had not opened - knowing it is was about a driving offence, very slight charge whilst opening the envelope whilst staying present.


x

[Lubo]

Hi Charmain,
Beautiful!

there was a task hanging around in the background involving contacting a bunch of people, left not done. I noticed a ripple of feeling when I remembered it ... much milder .. its like I'm circling it

From this place of calmness and power, notice
- what you want from this situation? What is your desire?
- Is there a fear ? fear of what?

Love
Lubo

[LoveEd]

Hey Lubo

I have been with this all day today. I was feeling a ghost urge to fix it, just contact them .. but didn't - just stayed home with this

I wanted to maintain some form of 'image' that was perceived as being 'out there' :-) A desire to be liked and not judged negatively - the fear was all related to 'what are they thinking', all charmain trying to be charmain - what if they see that it was fake and that she was not reliable, has all this life just been about maintaining some sort of image?
faint fear that if this image is dropped then opportunities will be withdrawn, missed - but knowing that just can't be - what opportunities and for who? What is an opportunity and what do they lead to? Without the desire to maintain the image, 'opportunity' is meaningless - opportunity for what? haha its like the 'doing' programme has switched off, or is switching off? I will keep checking if there is any other urge to do something out of this apparent need. i can feel a sense of warmth and presence, peace.

Its so beautiful to feel the release from this. Release from guilt, from doing.

Thank you Lubo

[Lubo]

Hi Charmain,
Nice :)

I wanted to maintain some form of 'image' that was perceived as being 'out there' :-)

Notice what image is maintained?
Notice that this image is mental construction dependant of fear, should vоice, the rules of society, parent's voice...
is it like this?

A desire to be liked and not judged negatively - the fear was all related to 'what are they thinking', all charmain trying to be charmain - what if they see that it was fake and that she was not reliable, has all this life just been about maintaining some sort of image?
faint fear that if this image is dropped then opportunities will be withdrawn, missed - but knowing that just can't be - what opportunities and for who? What is an opportunity and what do they lead to? Without the desire to maintain the image, 'opportunity' is meaningless - opportunity for what? haha its like the 'doing' programme has switched off, or is switching off?

BIG YES! We a trying to keep an image that we are not :) To protect this image from others :)
Look around - what is the evidence that there is anything more then this?
What is coming when you say loudly - This is it! Nowhere to go, nowhere to arrive, nothing to achieve?


Stop protect this image and notice are there images in apparent others? :)
There is no Charmain - is there Lubo?
Stop protect imagined image and check what desire is here?, what really "you" like or don't like?
You are not here to please "others".
Live in desires and stop protect the image, live like the whole day or two days, a month, why not the whole life :)

Lao Tzu says, Be like a crooked tree. Straight trees are convenient to use and cut down, but a crooked tree no one cuts it, no one can use it.

Love
apparent :) Lubo

[LoveEd]

The image has been solely focused on the image!! Believing that it is what it does. Crazy. Its instructions being the shoulds and rules etc. There is no evidence that anything else at all is happening. Everything is this. The nowhere and nothing is like letting the air out of everything, deflating meaning, a dissolution. with others, they too are images focusing on images. How can that be real, where is it real?
What a relief / lightening felt today, and a natural sense of what is truly desired emerging.

Will write again tomorrow

Much Love apparent Lubo

[Lubo]

Hi apparent Charmain :),
Yes, the images are not real.
Notice without "should" voice and any believes,
what is here, what is real, what is This?
Is there (here) any subject?

Love
l.