Hi Stacy,
Thank you for checking. I just finished my responses (below). It was delayed because I felt like I need some quiet time to be certain I wasn't just answering them from an intellectual standpoint. I finally had that time this morning.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No. No.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The illusion of a separate self is a belief that thoughts and sensations belong to an entity - ‘me’ - that is distinct from other existence and can cause/manage outcomes, and that it has a specific lifespan.
Not sure from actual memory when it started but it is reasonable to say that as this body and mind developed, the illusory self was reinforced by family and society in general. I don’t know how/why the initial false perception of separation comes into existence but there is a cycle of the self believing it has to survive, protect itself, and seek happiness which in turn strengthens the illusion. This self deems it necessary, and in fact exists, to move away from current experience because that experience is fearful, painful or unsatisfactory. That attempt to move away is actually the source of discontent, not the experience itself.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
It feels two ways. First, it feels like the first time I put on reading glasses. :-) Nothing changed except clarity of what was there. But that clarity was most welcome! Second, it feels ‘ungrounded’. I struggled to find the right word but generally it means no standing on something solid, ever changing, uncertain, unspecific.
I had been primed for Seeing and had been provided glimpse of Truth prior to entry into this dialog. But the dialog itself removed limiting veils that had not been noticed prior. One example is that any concern of something being undone or forgotten, in terms of seeing Truth, is gone. Experience can’t change the knowing of no self.
Experience in the past week can be described as checking and ‘being’. Checking whether the self exists in ANY circumstance and then ‘being’ the recognition of the answer, which is no.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Can’t say for sure but the following realizations were devastating for the self. ;-)
- the self NEVER EVER existed
- time cannot be found
- the self is not responsible for outcomes
5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.
Describe intention & give examples from experience.
Describe free will & give examples from experience.
Describe choice & give examples from experience.
Describe control & give examples from experience.
What makes things happen? How does it work?
What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
I don’t mean to circumvent answering these questions individually but they all seem to have the same answer. Decisions, intention, free will, choice, and control are all illusions. Thoughts and actions happen spontaneously based on brain activity. A self-entity does not control the activity of the brain. There is no self-entity to do that.
There is no “you” to be responsible for anything.
Let me know if you need something more for these questions.
6) Anything to add?
Two things.
First, it feels like there is so much more to be seen now that that the primary veil has been lifted. Limitless in some ways.
Second, gratitude arises for you Stacy, and for the work of Ilona and all the guides (although it does seem that that gratitude is much broader and not just directed to someone :-) ).