The Gate

Hello Kay,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

Thoughts of ‘me’ ‘I’ etc. arise, but are seen as empty fluff… there’s no ‘me’ or ‘I’ attached to the doing, feeling, seeing, hearing etc. the stickiness is gone, and can see it slide off or naturally drop away. There is much left to do, but the belief has evaporated.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

The belief that I was ever more than this already complete experience.
It began from ‘birth’, gradually conditioned socially and culturally to believe that I am a unique individual in a seemingly external world of separate things objects and other people.

3) How does it feel to see this?

It feels nice. Not like happiness, but a calm, abiding peacefulness... like everything is just right and as it should be. But I am curious to see if this will remain when interacting with family!

What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

Confusion and uncertainty of ‘where and what I am’ is considerably lightened, if not altogether gone. Experience feels more natural and authentic, free of the low-level unease and discomfort I felt going into this process.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

What pushed me over was the experiential ‘aha! moment of seeing that sensations are just happening in the vastness of experience, and by natural extension so is everything else. The dots quickly connected. The constant sensation that I always felt like happening to ‘me’ no longer has this quality; It’s just ‘being’ and the ‘me’ is no longer necessary and seen as redundant.

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.

I can see that there is no ‘decision maker’, only a kind of moving towards preference based on prior experience or certain causes and conditions taking place in experience; It’s a thought that comes up after the fact to claim ownership.
Intention resonates as more subtle and relevant, like setting a target or goal in the present that one works towards in harmony with life.
The notion of free will is not something I can relate to… that there is an ‘I / me’ who ‘has choice’ and is firmly ‘in control’ of his actions and their possible outcomes. All point to a ‘doer’ who has the ability to manipulate experience. All point to thought / label.

b) What makes things happen? How does it work?

There is nothing that ‘makes’ things happen in experience. Things are just happening, and there is no mechanism for this other than life itself.

c) What are you responsible for?

I am the only one responsible for my own experience and continued growth in this life. I am the only one responsible for my feelings and thoughts, not anyone else.

d) Give examples from experience.

A good example of responsibility has been this experience of guidance; You were the torch, shining the light on where to look, but it was only ever up to me to be honest and look at my actual experience in order to truly understand it.
An example of responsibility for my thoughts and feelings is in interacting with others. An example with my partner over a minor issue, thought labelled her her ‘cranky’ and ‘unreasonable’ and subsequently created a story about her ‘making’ ‘me’ feel ‘annoyed’. But these thought labels are not ‘her’—she is not ‘cranky’ or ‘unreasonable’ nor did she ‘make’ ‘me’ ‘annoyed’. All of it is a story created by thoughts belonging to no-one.

6) Anything to add?

I’m more than happy to do round 3! :)

Best,

Gray

Hello Gray,

Thank you for your responses. There are a couple I think we need to look at.

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.

Intention resonates as more subtle and relevant, like setting a target or goal in the present that one works towards in harmony with life.

What exactly is it that is "setting a target or goal in the present that one works towards in harmony with life"?
What is the AE of "intention"?

c) What are you responsible for?

I am the only one responsible for my own experience and continued growth in this life. I am the only one responsible for my feelings and thoughts, not anyone else.

Describe to me in detail what it is exactly that is "responsible for my own experience and continued growth in life"?
Can a 'doer' be found who is responsible for anything?
What is the difference between free will, control, choice, decision and responsibility?

Love, Kay

Hello Kay,

Great! Here are the answers.

What exactly is it that is "setting a target or goal in the present that one works towards in harmony with life"?
What is the AE of "intention"?

To clarify this, for example, there has been a kind of simplicity in my work the last couple of days. There are things that needed to be ‘done’. This was known / understood. Once the knowing was there, things got done without procrastination, fuss, worry, overthinking, doubting, questioning. Those kind of thoughts might have arisen, but they passed without muddying the water, so to speak.

Describe to me in detail what it is exactly that is "responsible for my own experience and continued growth in life"?
Can a 'doer' be found who is responsible for anything?
What is the difference between free will, control, choice, decision and responsibility?

In other words, there is no longer this gnawing feeling of dissatisfaction fuelling a desire to search for books, resources, techniques, or methods, and putting my hopes’ in authors, gurus and spiritual teachers. There is no longer any attraction to this. So, actually I would say this more like the sense of needing to ‘do’ has dropped. There is no difference at all between free will, control, choice, decision and responsibility, they point to the same concept of a ‘doer’.

Best,

Gray

Hey Gray,

What exactly is it that is "setting a target or goal in the present that one works towards in harmony with life"?
What is the AE of "intention"?

To clarify this, for example, there has been a kind of simplicity in my work the last couple of days. There are things that needed to be ‘done’. This was known / understood. Once the knowing was there, things got done without procrastination, fuss, worry, overthinking, doubting, questioning. Those kind of thoughts might have arisen, but they passed without muddying the water, so to speak.

Okay...I am with you! There is no longer a seeming 'resistance' to doing stuff. It simply gets done without all the thoughts moaning, groaning, wanting, not wanting etc(ie muddying the waters!) It makes the seeming doing a pleasure. I used to dislike doing the dishes...but it has become a joy to do these days...the job just gets done without all the muddying thoughts!

So what happens from here is that I am going to get other guides to have a look at your thread to ensure that I have covered everything and that my pointing has been clear and has been beneficial to you. They may take a couple of days to read your thread and they may have extra questions for you. When they have gotten back to me, I will get back to you and let you know what is going on.

Talk to you soon
Love, Kay

Hey Kay!

Okay...I am with you! There is no longer a seeming 'resistance' to doing stuff. It simply gets done without all the thoughts moaning, groaning, wanting, not wanting etc(ie muddying the waters!) It makes the seeming doing a pleasure. I used to dislike doing the dishes...but it has become a joy to do these days...the job just gets done without all the muddying thoughts!

Yes! Exactly! For me, it's not all quite joy (yet :)), but certainly much lighter. But I still need to see how this all feels when more difficult situations arise.

So what happens from here is that I am going to get other guides to have a look at your thread to ensure that I have covered everything and that my pointing has been clear and has been beneficial to you. They may take a couple of days to read your thread and they may have extra questions for you. When they have gotten back to me, I will get back to you and let you know what is going on.

Fantastic. Thanks so much!

Best,

Gray

Hi Gray,

Congratulations, and welcome through the Gateless Gate. There are no further questions for you. It has been a pleasure to walk with you and point the way. Thank you for being so open and willing to LOOK!

Keep an eye out for an email notification from the forum about a PM (private message) inviting you to join our Aftercare group on Facebook. The PM also details other resources available to you. Your name will change from green to blue, which indicates that you have had the realisation of there being no separate self.

You can contact me at any time if you have any questions etc, via the forums PM system, or via Facebook if you decide to join our groups there.

Love, Kay

Hello Kay,

You have my deepest, deepest gratitude! Thank you from the bottom of 'my' heart.

All the very best,

Gray