The Gate

No worries! Glad that you are okay!

Love, Kay

Hello Kay,

Thank you for the quote from A Course in Miracles. I have read it over several times and each time it seems to have greater meaning.

Thank you also for the advice for guiding my son. I may reach out to Ilona in the near future.

Here are the answers to the questions you have asked:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

No, there is no separate 'self', 'me', or 'I', at all in any way shape or form. And no, there never was. Thoughts arise containing this information, for example, 'I am Sarah' and 'my body', but there is no 'self' to be found in these passing thoughts. Just the same, these thoughts are simply thoughts. They know nothing of these labels 'I', 'me', or 'self'. Thought only 'knows' itself. In this way, it does not reflect (or know) this 'I', 'me' or 'self', it is only a thought.
Further , 'thought' is simply experience. It is one in the same. All else which we experience; sensations, sounds, smells, color, taste, is quite the same. 'We' experience all of these in the 'now', and thought adds labels and stories, which gives each of 'us' the understanding 'we' have about who 'we' are.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of separate self is everpresent in thought experience arising with ANY label and/or story. There is no beginning, just as there is no ending, because there is only THIS.
The illusion of separate self is the label 'Sarah' and stories which accompany this label - self, time, experience, body, etc. Looking through the lens of illusion, the separate self sees this conglomerate of stories/color/sensations/sounds/smells/tastes called 'Sarah' as being separate from everything else it 'sees around it' (i.e. couch, dog, house, trees, etc). Looking instead through the lens of experience, the no self simply IS. There is no separation of any kind.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

It feels like 'time' has stopped. It feels like a dream within a dream while at the same time, more 'real' than anything 'I' have 'ever' experienced. With persistent illusory thoughts arising making for an interesting mix of experiences.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

It occurred more gradually for me. Beginning with the understanding of labels the elimination of 'I', 'me' and 'my' from thoughts was the first big eye-opener.
Next I would say was observing non-deviated sensations of body and all which 'surrounds' it which allowed me to experience no-separation.
I'm sure I am forgetting a few incremental steps which allowed me to look, but the last I will mention is this idea of 'time'. It was a big aha moment for me to see that all is now, there could not be anything else. There is just THIS.

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.
b) What makes things happen? How does it work?
c) What are you responsible for?
d) Give examples from experience.

(a) Decision, intention, free will, choice and control are all illusions. Thoughts of the the previous will contain the labels 'I', 'me', 'my' etc, as they arise and pass. This is all they are.

(b) Things just happen and 'I', 'you', 'we' simply experience. There is nothing else. To tell you different would just be a story.

(c) My responsibility is to remain conscious and aware of experience. However, from my experience I do not have control over this.

(d) Examples from experience are the sensations felt at this moment, the colors 'all around me,' tastes 'in my mouth' and the passing thoughts 'in my head'.

6) Anything to add?

I would very much like to join the group for those who have passes through the gateless gate.

Thank you so very much, Kay. This really has been 'life transforming' for me in so many ways. I look forward to the continued journey.

Lovingly,
Sarah

Hello Sarah,

Lovely to hear from you and thank you for your responses. I will now ask other guides to have a look at the thread to make sure everything has been covered clearly. This may take a few days and there may or may not be other questions for you to answer. In the mean time, look after yourself and if you need to contact me...you know how. :)

Love, Kay

Hello Kay,

Thank you so much. I look forward to being in touch.

Lovingly,
Sarah

Hi Sarah!

Congratulations, and welcome through the Gateless Gate. There are no further questions for you. It has been a pleasure to walk with you and point the way. Thank you for being so open and willing to LOOK!

Keep an eye out for an email notification from the forum about a PM (private message) inviting you to join our Aftercare group. The PM also details other resources available to you. Your name will change from green to blue, which indicates that you have had the realisation of there being no separate self.

You can contact me at any time, if you have any questions etc, via the forums PM system, or via Facebook if you decide to join our groups there. I know you wanted to do Further Investigations (FI) as well. Let the dust settle for a couple of weeks from this exploration and when you are ready, you can contact me or you can just start a thread in the FI forum.

Love, Kay

Hello Kay,

Thank you for the wonderful news. I will make sure I am part of the FB group and would like to continue FI when the time is right.

Thank you again for your pointed guidance and loving support. The experience has been like no other and I am surely looking forward to connecting again.

Lovingly,
Sarah