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[Bill]

OK great Pauline. :)
Im so you conjured up the patience to stick with this, even though it was very frustrating for you at times.
Its a very simply thing but so difficult to see as its not how we've been taught to look and see things.
We're nearly done... one thing first...
You know that at the end of these we have these 6 questions we always ask.
I'd like you to do them at your own pace. No rush.
Take half of them at a time... or even singly. Whatever you're comfortable with.
Answer each one fully, when you are ready, bring your current thoughts and feelings to each.


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you actually take the look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen?
How does it work?
What are you responsible for?
Give examples from your recent day to day experience.

6) Anything to add?

[PaulineF]

Hi Bill! Happy Saturday :)

OK - let's put this baby to bed ...

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

- No. As I said, no separate self now, so no separate self ever. There's nothing more to say about it.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

A long time ago (seemingly!), there was a body, stuff happening, sensations, feelings … life being lived. Then at some point, separation was created - he world was described as being out there, and this body and mind apparently belonged to me. Being told ‘you’ and ‘me’ was the start of the big fat story, along with lots of other ways of describing what was just happening ... the illusion was firmly intact :) Things would be described as mine, yours … life was described as happening to me, or to them.

Really, stuff was just happening, all by itself. Now - thoughts occur, but they’re not mine. Feelings occur, but they don’t belong to anything or anyone, they just occur. Stuff happens, but it’s not happening to me now - it’s just going on. I still occurs, but the story is now seen. The idea of being separate self is just a belief, a concept - a thought. Without any of that, without the I stories, life is just happening and experienced and could not be any other way. It’s pretty sweet!

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels really sweet - the feeling of being released would not be incorrect - there is an incredible feeling of freedom. That said, everything really is the same as it was … life’s going on, except it’s not mine and it’s not happening to me. Everything seems to be less effort, less pressure, less rush, less … ah, whatever. Thoughts still going on, I thoughts still going on … but seeing the story, all good. It feels so simple, it’s incredible! There’s just enjoying … life happening.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

When you asked ‘Are you a concept?’

Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Decisions are just thoughts occurring - there is no decision, no one to make a decision, just thoughts. I don’t decide - a thought may say ‘i’m deciding’, but it’s seen for the thought it is. There’s simply no I to decide anything! Similarly, there’s no free will. There’s the thought that free will doesn’t exist, but that’s just a thought too. Things just happen and they couldn’t possibly happen any other way!! No choice, no me to make a choice. Saying - will i go out today? Thinking Yes - then more thought labelling that as a decision. Really, just stuff happening, thoughts occurring. Responsibility? No one to be responsible. I can’t be responsible for anything because there’s no I here. Just stuff happening … all by itself :)

Anything to add?

Just a big fat thankyou, Bill!!! Have you anything to add?

[Bill]

Great answers Pauline!
Its very clear to me you've seen through the illusion of self.
Again, Im so happy for you that you stuck with it... took time out when you needed it
and came back and kept at it.
I really enjoyed seeing you unravel this in your own way.


The other guides looked and confirmed your answers. No questions.

Someone will be in touch in the next day or so, and your user name will turn blue on the forum,
and more of the website will open up to you.
When this happens be sure and check out this page (while logged in)

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=696

We have several groups on Facebook (discussion, aftercare)
and also one you can use for learning about guiding,
if that's something you want to consider, and also many for further discussion.
I'd encourage you to take a look at these and see what resonates with you.
Guiding is a good thing to do and learn if the inclination is there for you...
It's a way to keep fresh and also work with others.
Feel free to respond back with any questions or other comments you may have.

Life goes on as it does. I sincerely wish you the best. :)

Namaste,
Bill

[PaulineF]

Ahhhh ... Thankyou from the bottom of my heart, Bill - the journey was something else! Thankyou for being my guide and sticking with me - and just telling me to keep looking, even when it felt I was all looked out - it worked :)

I'll definitely be sure to stick around and keep this fresh ... looking forward to exploring the forum and FB groups, and who knows, maybe I'll even explore the guiding!

With the deepest gratitude x