The Gate

Good evening Sarah,

Are you clear?

Sitting with the question, "am I clear?" The thought arises of a pond and water. Thoughts of the word blue, then the color blue. Thoughts just arising. Feeling and hearing breathing. Hearing TV dialogue in the background, the sound of the AC. Thoughts, sounds, movements, conversations - all just arising and happening. Life simply living the only way it can in this moment. The thought comes to mind of how water flows down a mountain. Life is flowing in this way.

Any doubts?

No doubts at this moment. Fear arises that busy-ness will "cloud" this clarity. But fear will pass. Busy-ness may happen and...wait...then there is the recognizing of a story constructing itself before "my" eyes. :) No doubts. Returning to direct experience - hearing the ceiling fan twirling overhead, the bed creaking, no separation between hearing and heard, seeing and seen.

Has seeking ended?

In this moment, yes, seeking has ended. Thank you, Sarah! This experience has been truly wonderful and perspective-shifting!

Dave

Thoughts come up, so quickly. Noticing happens. Smiling happens. How quickly stories form - continuing to feel amazement at this! When spontaneous noticing happens of these thoughts and stories it can feel like emerging from a cloud. *POP!*. :) Thank you again Sarah!

Right then Dave
Lets check list then - l like to be thorough!!!!! Please answer in as much detail as you feel is needed. :)

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days. What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

Anything else to add?
Hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah! Some beginnings below then more to come tomorrow!

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No "self/me/I". Just unique perspective. Unique experiences experienced and unique conditioning and patterns that have arisen. No ownership of these experiences. The ownership is just thought and story.

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of separate self is the thoughts and stories that are layered on top of experience. Breathing happens. Typing happens. Movement happens. Ideas arise. Thoughts arise - dog. Sounds arise - dog snoring. At any moment, thoughts of MY dog may arise or MY hand typing. Less so now in this moment as awareness of no-self is present.

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

Anything else to add?

Seeing in this moment feels fantastic. Will circle back tomorrow with more to come!

With gratitude,

Dave

Thanks Dave. Looking forward to it!
Hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah, Continuing from your thread yesterday -

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

At this moment, happiness arises - happiness just to look, listen, feel, smell, taste, and sense overall. The recognition that thoughts, stories, and emotions just arise with no ME conducting or directing them, feels just like this train ride happening now.

Before this dialogue, seeing of LU or Gateless Gatecrashers had not yet occurred. Neither had a thorough examination of no-self, thoughts, emotions, "autopilot", or the life-ing of life.

There is less resistance now. There is more acknowledgement now. Acceptance that this is what is being felt. That this is the experience NOW. OK-ness with that. With this recognition of thoughts and stories naturally arising there is less "power" to them. In absence of "self" there is no ME to "buy-in". Buy-in is recognized as yet another story. Another sand castle on the beach of life that gets built but is ultimately washed away.

What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Like everything the looking was a continuous process. A link in a blog post, some space and time created by a new job, availability of "you" as a guide, and all the unique experiences experienced through this perspective leading up to NOW!

A couple of passages in Gateless Gatecrashers - that life is impersonal but "self/I/me" makes it seem personal; and that no-self does NOT mean no unique perspective - led to a feeling of WOW and a SHIFT in perceptive. Very eye opening. Literally, brows raised :)

Actually LOOKING into these questions and others around how thoughts, stories, and sensations arise, timing, in relation to each other, the "autopiloting" of life, the inseparability of seeing, "seer" and seen, and how conversations happen and noticing their echo-ing nature was critical.

Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

No - "you/me/I" are all just labels and language, sometimes useful to communicate, and sometimes not. Conditioning, past experiences, life events happening NOW all simply flow forward from moment to moment, "event" to "event".

Anything else to add?

Can't express how much appreciation is felt. For this website for enabling these conversations, for Ilona and Elena for creating this, and for "you" and the time you've spent reading, writing, questioning, and pointing.

Dave

Hi Dave
Thanks for that. Im a bit busy today - so will get back to you later - hope that's OK.
Big hugs Sarah xxx

No problem Sarah!

Soz for the delay Dave. Will be in touch as soon as possible! Keep checking in please! Hugs Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah, No worries - still here. Enjoying the breathing, listening, chatting, and seeing that is happening in the now. Movements - of head, hands, stomach rising and falling - all happening on automatic. Thoughts and stories arising around "work"; feelings arise as well, then pass. Just thoughts, just stories. :)

Hey Dave
At last!!!!! Have sent you 2 pm's! LOL.
Hugs Sarah xxx