Ready for a guide

[tryfailtry]

Notice how its noticed after it occurs?

Can you locate what is doing the noticing?

and Fear is ok- just doing its job.

[alexmcca]

There really is just noticing...

things are being seen through... it is so odd .... I just get caught up on the understanding that there really is no way to take any control over thoughts .... no-one to take control..... and yet thought patterns can and do change over time..... and thought patterns about taking control of thought patterns... and thought patterns about seeing through self so that the belief in thought is gone... and thoughts that that must mean that there was intention! but from where, from who!?

[alexmcca]

and thoughts now "I am getting so close, but I can't get there..."..... "no, this is silly, nothing can change....".. "but I chose to come here and do this work!".... "but there is no 'I'.. it really just emerged..." etc

[tryfailtry]

Excellent!

Do you see that those thoughts just show up- effortlessly--who is there to effort?

How did you choose to be here?

What if i tell you there is no place to get- how would you even get there? Do you have choice in where you are right now?

[tryfailtry]

and tell me what this odd seeing through is like :) Look and see if you can find where your words come from-

[alexmcca]

and tell me what this odd seeing through is like :)

It is like an awareness now that this moment, right now, is all there is... that when thoughts are about "Alex".... or past events or the future... they just kind of fall away, because, how can they be real....? only real is now... current experience and they are just thoughts.

Look and see if you can find where your words come from-

well it just seems as if an internal voice shows up.... and then words are seen too and then typing is happening...

Fear shows up a bit... along with the thought "I don't want to find this and then lose it...."

[tryfailtry]

It is like an awareness now that this moment, right now, is all there is... that when thoughts are about "Alex".... or past events or the future... they just kind of fall away, because, how can they be real....? only real is now... current experience and they are just thoughts.

Yes! Nice!

well it just seems as if an internal voice shows up.... and then words are seen too and then typing is happening...

Fear shows up a bit... along with the thought "I don't want to find this and then lose it...."

relax- its ok- how would you go about losing this? who is there to lose?

Doubt might show up sure-fear-sadness- happiness- anyone home to control that?

Not to be redundant- but again- what is the "I" now.

[alexmcca]

relax- its ok- how would you go about losing this? who is there to lose?

thank you so much. This helped... really helped......

some sadness.... guilt... various emotions .... but just sensations and images running through the mind

what is the "I" now

attachment to images of things that don't exist

when I say attachment.... just experience of a weighty sensation going along with images that give it a sense of being something.....

[tryfailtry]

It's ok!


You are right where you are supposed to be- experiencing all of this with or without 'you' yes?

and they show up without consent- and don't need to be labelled to be experienced. If you called guilt- saddy baddies- its still felt is it not?

Who could these emotions hurt?


Does the absence of "I" change anything you are experiencing?

Does it feel less personal knowing we all experience this shit? the good-the bad-the ugly

You aren't alone- you never were!

How are you feeling?

Keep the dialogue going.

[alexmcca]

Yes, I think the dialogue is a big part of this..... it seems to crystallise things

Who could these emotions hurt?

First thought came... "the body could be hurt, over time... by being so stressed out".... but next thought "only if the sensations are labelled and 'I' is believed. Otherwise it is more like movement of energy..."

Does the absence of "I" change anything you are experiencing?

Yes and no. Actually, sensations are feeling stronger than ever! Body is on fire! And some are still labelled as difficult emotions.... what is different is that quite quickly it seems labels are dropped and the sensation is just experienced. Also, thoughts like "but that thought is just an image" .. are showing up....

Does it feel less personal knowing we all experience this shit? the good-the bad-the ugly

That hadn't occurred to me in that way..... yes, it is not personal.. it is just life......

You aren't alone- you never were!

not sure on response to this one.... many thoughts in the past about how I like to be alone and want to get away from others. this one seems like a blank right now......

How are you feeling?

Body sensations are maybe 80% of experience right now... like energy and pressure and aching moving all over my back and chest and shoulders and head! Heart fluttering. Thoughts of "oh will this change anything"... show up.... but then the knowledge that that is just a thought......

[tryfailtry]

First thought came... "the body could be hurt, over time... by being so stressed out".... but next thought "only if the sensations are labelled and 'I' is believed. Otherwise it is more like movement of energy..."

Who is there to predict it being hurt? What would know? What else is there but right now?

Movement of energy!!!! yes yes.

Yes and no. Actually, sensations are feeling stronger than ever! Body is on fire! And some are still labelled as difficult emotions.... what is different is that quite quickly it seems labels are dropped and the sensation is just experienced. Also, thoughts like "but that thought is just an image" .. are showing up....

Anything controlling any of it? Is there an experiencer? Just experience? Does it need defined? It might be called sadness here, and God knows what in some last remaining tribe across the world- does it make a difference what its called?

That hadn't occurred to me in that way..... yes, it is not personal.. it is just life....

Yes. Yes it is.

not sure on response to this one.... many thoughts in the past about how I like to be alone and want to get away from others. this one seems like a blank right now......

well being alone is irrelevant- there are introverts-extroverts- any choice in that? My question was pointing to do you find a separation now between you and experience? Maybe the "I" just gets in the way?


you say- Body sensations are maybe 80% of experience right now... like energy and pressure and aching moving all over my back and chest and shoulders and head! Heart fluttering. Thoughts of "oh will this change anything"... show up.... but then the knowledge that that is just a thought.


How else could it be? Who would change it? .....relax. You have been through plenty I'm sure- and you are still here yes?

[alexmcca]

Who is there to predict it being hurt? What would know? What else is there but right now?

Yes prediction is just a thought in the moment.

Just experience? Does it need defined?

yes just experience. there is no "me" that needs it to be defined.... I mean it might be... like a thought comes up "that was nice..." or something.... but that is just a thought

do you find a separation now between you and experience?

no. there is the thought sometimes.. "oh maybe I still believe in me".. but know it is just a thought at the same time! There is a sense of "I" that is coming and going... but also sense/knowing that the sense itself is just part of experience...? if that makes sense....

How else could it be? Who would change it? .....relax. You have been through plenty I'm sure- and you are still here yes?

Yes, it is as it is. Can't be any other way. Yes, my words were just a narrative of experience.... the body sensations are just there - and then the thoughts I mentioned... just a report for you of the experience .... no sense of any worry about the sensations .... pleased to say thoughts /worry around concept of physical health went away some time ago anyway with previous "work on myself" (lol). Yes, "I" have been through plenty.... and released/rewritten so much unconscious programming ... but this, right now, is something different......

[alexmcca]

it is time for my dinner.... I will come back a bit later and write some more. I want to see how this unfolds a little....

THANK YOU so much.....! really SO MUCH.

[tryfailtry]

Excellent- do you have anything to add right now while the wind is a blowin----?

You mentioned - There is a sense of "I" that is coming and going... but also sense/knowing that the sense itself is just part of experience...? if that makes sense....

Can you confirm if this a new experience for you? A shift in perspective? This sense of 'knowing'- did it need any input to show up? Describe this knowing if you could.


Would you like some exercises to experiment with? Or are you compelled to sit with this for a bit?



- You are so welcome- Enjoy your dinner. That is a perfect time to see whats happening!!!

[alexmcca]

I would love some exercises yes, thanks.....

This sense of 'knowing'- did it need any input to show up? Describe this knowing if you could.

The knowing is like....

well for instance an experience comes of getting sucked into a sensation and image/thought about something "I am anxious about"... it is like I believe it is real.... but if you imagine being sucked into that is like being lost in a sort of dark mist.... the knowing then emerges, like going right through that mist and back out into clear vision again and noticing the present moment.

If that makes any sense!