The Gate

Hi Hopefulness,

In answering the original questions, I am leaving out the ones that are the same answers and only listing those with numbers that have changed. Hopefully this will be clear for you...

5b what have you done along the way in terms of reading or practices, etc.? Be descriptive so don't worry about it being too long.
In the mid 90's I discovered the Abraham/Hicks materials and began avidly devouring them. Also at that time I discovered Network Chiropractic which has been a cornerstone of my physical and spiritual development. In 2001 I decided to become a Lifecoach and took training for that which led to my retirement from the Education field and also eventually, in 2005, to separation/divorce from my husband. I worked with a spiritual coach throughout this time and gained immeasurably huge understanding of my life and journey. Much of my path in recent years consists of friendship with the Lifecoach who has supported my journey as well as reading, studying, workshops (Delores Cannon Technique, Laura Alden Kamm, Oneness/Deeksha, etc), intuitive readings, etc. etc.
Often the suggestions that I have followed have been that of the Lifecoach I wrote to you about this morning who is also the one referred to here. She has also been instrumental in pushing me hard sometimes to wake up. I mention her a lot because she has provided so much in the way of catalyst and supporter of my growth process.
7 What is the goal of this meditation?
Th goal has been to feel better in the moment and to receive answers to daily challenges and raise vibration to allow for flow in my life.
Since working with LU I am more aware of using meditation to pacify or medicate. Meditation has seemed to change to more open eyed enjoyment of the moment.

10 What are your goals in life
At this point my goals are mostly for rewarding relationships and close community. Being in my children's and grand children's lives as a trusted and loving elder is very important to me. I would also like to experience a deep loving relationship with a male. I would love to travel to sacred sites in the world with those close to me.
I have noticed a difference in my ability to clarify with family members about situations that I previously would have miscommunicated about or felt misunderstood about. I was able to clear with those involved more easily and, I believe, prevented further misunderstanding in a possibly very touchy situation. This seems to be building stronger but less codependent relationships.
11 What are your expectations for liberation. What do you expect it to do for you. Write a LOT on this one.
Eg. A. Constant bliss
Actually, I'm not quite clear on this except I expect it to "get rid of" the discomfort, angst and stress of feeling separation that has seemed to get bigger lately. I expect liberation to allow for closer relationships in my life and in writing that I am seeing the fallacy of no self no other so...where does that leave it?? Maybe just an easier drive on the expressway rather than a feeling of everyone, including myself, being a little whacky.
Driving, although still bringing up emotion, is definitely better in that it feels much less personal. If things happen, and they do, I am able to see the thought/emotion hook up and get less involved with the thought and explore the emotion instead. I'm also noticing more of the attachment that others have with thoughts followed by reactions.
B. Knowledge of all answers
Have always had "a knowing" but there is a sense it is all in my head.
Since participating in LU there is definitely a greater sense of clarity and if there isn't clarity there is greater patience in being with what is in the moment.
C. Magical powers
A deepening of intuition. That is always nice!
D. etc., etc., etc.
12 What do you expect to be after liberation, if attained?
Operating from a different place...clarity, detachment, observing
I totally get there is nothing/no one to be detached from...
13 How do you define your "self"?
In two ways...there is the little self...the ra, ra, ra, this is who I am listen to me self because I'm right self. Then there is the wise knowing that appears sometimes to often as a very different state of being.
I don't define myself now...
14 Do you have any hobbies?
Reading, hiking, knitting, painting
15 Are you left handed or right.
Right, although I have been told I came as left but was changed.
16 What is the most beautiful nature scene you have ever seen?
Mountain top New Zealand
17 Is there any music you've listened to that makes you forget yourself temporarily?
Deva Premal and Tom Kenyon mantras and meditations
Becoming the music is more the experience now...
27 How badly do you want “enlightenment”?
I tend to move away from pain rather than innately moving toward something like enlightenment. I really want a state of freedom from this state I am in.
I now have a much more solid approach when stresses present in my life. I don't know what enlightenment really is but there is a much stronger feeling of liberation now present in my experience!

In pasting my answers I see the ones I added did not turn up as bolded. I hope you can decipher what are the changes. If not let me know and I will find another way to clarify it.

Again...many a thank you for your support!
Jane

Hi again,

O.K. I was able to sort it out O.K. It's nice to have open-minded friends that you can talk to about this stuff. I live in a very fundamentalist Christian environment, and they do don't do satsangs and new-age stuff, so I just keep my mouth shut about all this. :)

I want you to keep doing the outdoor thing as much as possible, weather permitting. I also want you to put a rubber band around your wrist. Everytime you see that rubber band during the day I want you to remind yourself that, "there is nothing outside of this moment, and there is no one in it." If a week or so down the road you find that it isn't serving as a reminder anymore, then change to a different color. The point is that there should always be something unfamiliar in your sight to remind you.

Write what comes up tomorrow.

Hi Hopefulness,
Sorry but the day got away from me with pre turkey busyness! I love the exercise and it will be useful throughout the day tomorrow, but I will report back again on Friday. Just wanted to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Jane

Hi again,

No problem. I know how it is. Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours as well. We'll resume afterwards. :)

Hi Hopefulness,
I haven't been wearing a ring for a long time and am now using a ring that I can move between fingers and change around as the reminder to repeat the "mantra". At first I realized I didn't get the wording exact but when I got the wording, the "mantra" really works to bring awareness present to the moment very nicely! I really feel the shift as I work with it! That has been very good!

I'm also enjoying the Direct Path book and am about to start the section on the body. The body seems more challenging somehow as discomfort moves in and out from time to time. I have experienced on more than one occasion the amazement of full awareness brought to physical sensation with the result being change to the sensation. But then attachment comes in using the ideas of cause/effect and control over the sensations...and then all gets" gooked up"!

There is now such a sense of awe with current experiences for which I am very grateful!

Grateful for your hopefulness and helpfulness!
Jane

Hi again,

A ring is fine. You might want to even switch rings occasionally just in case. This should be an all-day reality to stay in immediate experience as no one.

Yes, amazement and awe are the felt reality of this, among other things.

Yes, the body is a tough one, but keep seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching. Is there a "you" in there?
Are sensations really "attached" to any one thing, or even each other, or does thought just say so?

Write what comes up.

Hi Hopefulness,
In exploring more with the body from senses to sensations of pain, walking, hearing it is very evident that thoughts about the body and what is happening are a predominant part of the experience. When there has been discomfort, there is thought about the discomfort being real or hurting or being uncomfortable. Then there is noticing that that is just a thought about the sensation and then there is allowing of just the sensation...and the sensation is just that...sensation. However when thought is believed or when the mind goes into solving an issue or defining it and studying it or worrying about it, the experience seems to be accentuated.

Jane

Hi again,

Stay with it. Remember to stay with the mantra.

Enjoy.

Hi Hopefulness,
Today I read the Direct Path about the body and explored pain and efforting on a walk. This was a bit harder than the rest of the concepts because the experience seems so directly connected with the body. However, as I walked and asked the question is there really a body that has pain and effort, I could not find a body with pain and effort...I could only experience the awareness of efforting(deep breathing, cold wind, burning in the legs, sticker in the shoe, scratching pain on foot). There was no evidence of an object called a body...only evidence of experience. One might say experience came through the body as in foot scratched...sticker in shoe but the only thing definite was that both were there. Even cause and effect could not be proven with direct experience.

I am aware that I have in the past had strong attachment to the body and things going on in the body driving my experience. This was an amazing experience today exploring this!

The mantra is working very well also to keep me focused in the moment and aware that there is no "I". It seems as though decisions about what I do are done more with presence and less from habitual ritual so to speak. I am becoming more aware also of the commentary going round and round in the mind.

With deep appreciation for your guidance!
Jane

Hi again,

Good. I don't see anything to add here. First look at, then cast doubt on the beliefs of "Jane" and "awareness in a body." Stay with it until they pop.

Write what comes up.

Enjoy.

Hi Hopefulness,

The mantra exercise continues to be worthwhile in that the reminder of focus really allows for dropping into the moment and remembering that actions are happening and there is no self doing them. I have had quite a bit of food preparation that was happening today and there was a tiredness/back aching sort of thing happening when I repeated the mantra. After that things just flowed and before I knew it the body felt fine and it seemed as though actions just completed on their own. It really felt that there was no "Jane" doing anything.

I've started the section of the book on the mind but haven't read much. I did notice a lot of future thinking going on while I was walking today.

That's it for now...
Jane

Hi again,

Yes. Future thoughts show up but no one is "thinking" them. Other thoughts just say that.

Here's a link to an article by Scott Kiloby. I just re-read it for about the fourth time. You've already done some of his guided visualization stuff. This article is in the "articles" section of LU and is called "After the Fall" in case my link doesn't work. There are lots of other links in the article to other exercises he works with, but I'd prefer you just read the article right now and continue with the exercises in "The Direct Path" for now. This one article will just be a little brief diversion.

http://www.liberationunleashed.com/Arti ... -Fall.html

Hi Hopefulness,

This article was great and very helpful and timely to help root out beliefs of self lurking in my experience! Interestingly I went to a gathering of people that I have gotten together with for years and found myself triggered in exactly the way Kiloby describes in the first part if the article. When I read it this morning I could really see the catch of the "I've arrived" syndrome I experienced last night and was able to easily find the fears and be with them as they softened some this morning. I'll continue with everything today and write more tomorrow when I'm sure to be home by the fire during the approaching snow storm!

Jane

Hi again,

O.K. This board is acting strangely the last few days. It doesn't bring up your posts timely and it completely deleted my post earlier this evening. Anyway, I'm glad the article helped you see the traps that seem to show up. Keep up the good work with the exercises.

Write what comes up.

Hi Hopefulness,

Since the Scott K. article, I am seeing so many more instances that the habit of verifying the existence of a "me" tries to come in. At the same time there is more relaxing into the mantra and allowing that to lead rather than having to grasp it and remember to say it. There is more of a sense of "being" the mantra rather than "doing" it.

The reading today is going into the mind, which is a strong one for me. The realization of sensation, thought and feeling piling in on each other and how they are then used habitually to verify the self's existence is marinating in my system today.

Hoping the board is operating better!
Jane