The Gate

2. Explain the self in detail.
The self appears vividly as a solid, self existent entity which is self supporting ie as something independent of the body or thoughts.
It seems to grasp any experience & claim it, even "spiritual" experience. It wants to be separate & special. It NEEDS to be or the game is up!

I can sympathize with it's fear of Not Being. I know it's a construct but it's ripples of anguish are experienced in this body on an energetic level.

Answer to Question 2
Please read careful you are getting there.

The self appears vividly as a solid, self existent entity which is self supporting ie as something independent of the body or thoughts.
It seems to grasp any experience & claim it, even "spiritual" experience. It wants to be separate & special. It NEEDS to be or the game is up!

I can sympathize with it's fear of Not Being. I know i t's a construct but it's ripples of anguish are experienced in this body on an energetic level.

you confirm with me that self is just a Construct?

Iknow i t's a construct but it's ripples of anguish are experienced in this body on an energetic level.

There will always be issues of fear when people truly recognise that their is no self Just the story, Just thoughts,
That their is only now. Consider this after seeing through the illusion there is a period of setteling and unfolding were old habits of self still happen. You have clearly stated you have seen through the illusion of self
does it matter that echo of old self pop up.

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Love and light look forward to question 3

Love and Light
Nina

No it doesn't matter if old self pops up, I'm not in control anyway!

3. I just don't know. Everything is the same but isn't. The paradox of seeing without a seer or doing without a doer it blows my mind. I wish we could skip this question because I have no idea what to say.

Will try again soon.

Love

Question3 How does it feel to be liberated

I just don't know. Everything is the same but isn't. The paradox of seeing without a seer or doing without a doer it blows my mind. I wish we could skip this question because I have no idea what to say.

Lets hit this one on the head. We cant skip it this is the one that pins you in the corner. There is no way back because you state there is no I.

This is the liberation you are running from, Seeing that there is no< I> never was and< I >In Your words this is a self made construct to hide the truth.

Question3 How does it feel to be liberated

I am sure that you can answer.

Love and Light Nina

Nina I've seen, I KNOW I've seen but somehow it's not sticking. I don't think I'm running away from it, hell I even quit my job & moved into a Buddhist centre 18 months ago & have thought of nothing but Liberation since then. I've had the full Non Duality thing, the no self, the bliss, the dissolution experience of the mind completely breaking up. I've seen the interconnectedness of everything & how I was never in control & life couldn't possibly have happened in any other way. I had the direct knowing that everything I do & every seeming meaningless thought affects everything else in this creation. It was so beautiful & humbling.

Am I so identified with being the seeker that I can't drop the seeking?

I can't go back can I "Once seen never unseen"

Today has been a roller-coaster - full blown panic attack, energy going crazy in my body. I feel like I'm messing you around because thing are so unstable & transient.

Any suggestions?

One way train, take a break for tonight and if i was with you i would offer you a lovely glass of red wine,
Your expectation of change and setting aside <seeking> Is a long term Pattern that you have flooded yourself with over years.
It will Pass as you settle, for many people the experience is complex. An equilibrium will return.
Finish the third question tomorrow.
You are doing so well.
Talk tomorrow
Relax and sleep use your breathing
Love and Light
Nina

P.S when you open a door it has been opened
when you have seen you cant go back to the point prior to seeing.
Like when a flower opens it is never a bud again,
Nina

Nina you're wonderful.

I decided to chill with a few beers (no wine in the house) & watch some comedy :)

Speak soon x

Fantastic i was concerned that you have been anxious. Please take your health seriously. A few drinks and the company of others are important. You are wise and young a fantastic combination.
Talk tomorrow I will ask the other guides to help me with your journey and will walk with you through this
Love and Light

Nina

I still believe in Sat Chit Ananda as the yogi's describe it Being Consciousness Bliss. Is that wrong?"

Nothing in it self is wrong.
I am going ski holiday next Saturday and have asked another very experienced Guide to work with me over the next few days. We are sure that you have seen and there is not much more to do.
It is clear that you have put lots of energy and dedication into following your belief that is a positive thing no one
going to tell you to stop doing anything.
When ever you commence something new there will be fear and anxiety because holding on to past ways of looking and seeking is a normal reaction of people that care about things at a deep level.
You are now just looking in a different way.
This path does not diminish you it sets you in the centre.
I look forward to the next step.
Love and Light Nina

.

Vince will be working with us both i am sure that you will get on very well

Great I'm looking forward to integrating the seeing with the knowing.

Good day Francis, vince here.
Would you give me a rant on your Current expectation of Francis being 'liberated' please.
Don't edit, let what flows, happen.

Hi Vince

I feel like I'm stuck in an intellectual loop of arguing that How can "I" be liberated when there is no "I"?

I guess my expectations are that there would be the clarity that was there in the past. Ease, lightness, joy, flow are the words that come to mind to express what I've felt in the past.
I have clearly experienced life just living itself & it was soooo obvious it couldn't be any other way. The frustration of loosing the view & being somehow unable to hold onto that is bugging me!

It feels like any effort contradicts my past experience because it just WAS. Intense desire is driving the inquiry on like I have no choice.

Looking forward to cutting through the veil for illusion.

arguing that How can "I" be liberated when there is no "I"?

We're not worried about advaita correctness here, but do want as much accuracy as language allows.
Are you coming from a perspective that is experiencing no "I" ?

I guess my expectations are that there would be the clarity that was there in the past. Ease, lightness, joy, flow are the words that come to mind to express what I've felt in the past.
I have clearly experienced life just living itself & it was soooo obvious it couldn't be any other way. The frustration of loosing the view & being somehow unable to hold onto that is bugging me!

Sounds like it was a wonderful experience.
Would you expect any experience to persist ?
Did you take those experiences as 'liberation' ?
When you say it is "bugging me", are you having a shitty emotion because you think you should be able to get that experience back and to keep it ?

It feels like any effort contradicts my past experience because it just WAS.

Are you saying that before it happened without effort and now you are putting effort in and not getting results ?

Intense desire is driving the inquiry on like I have no choice.

Do you believe that you 'normally' have choice, that you make decisions that happen ?
Do you believe that you have control over life ?

Looking forward to cutting through the veil for illusion.

What will you do if this doesn't happen ?

vince