Can an illusion bark? :)
Can an illusion do anything?
Best i can do is, in direct experience there is no illusion. Things just are.
Is there a you who is responsible for forgetting or remembering, seeing or not seeing?
I don't know..
I really don't.
It seems seeing and not seeing and getting lost in thought are treated as special here. Like they are different from other happenings.
"Oh, but I have control over focus" i love these silly little formatting options here.
it's hard giving that up, and you're gonna make fun of me for saying that*, but if not even here is control,
how can i do literally anything to awaken? there would be nothing to do. nothing.
*you probably won't make fun of me
Oh Becc. All if this makes me want to cry and lie down a bit. I don't understand anything.
I think I found core believes here. so, they are becoming more apparent at least. And it's like they are sort of really infected here, emotionally speaking.
"I am doing everything wrong"
"I should be doing X"
"I can't do that, I should be doing X"
and you, X is never something really defined it seems. I just try to sit with them it seems. But I think that might be what makes everything seem four times as hard as it needs to be. I think this is close to what really hurts here all the time.
SO, it's about time
Is there an experience of the ’now’ moving along the line of time?
That seems like a thought.
More the opposite, where "now" is already there before looking, instead of being somewhere/somewhere not.
So, about time progressing. There is a feeling of time progressing, though that seems like a worry. OH, that's "I should be doing X instead right now"
Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?
There's memory of a "moment just before".
There are convictions (thought) about what happens next.
Is there any actual or direct experience of one event following another?
I notice the thought. Of different "nows".
Of a (narrow) frame of time around now.
I wonder, what to make of it.
I just "remember a moment ago" so much.
Things are sort of flowing, that's something.
Thought "Of, i have missed the moments in between X and now"
I don't know, what to make of this question.
there's not really an experience like that here
How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?
... normal amount
thought that was funny. Okay.
Using another the question first feels natural.
> How long does the "present moment" actually last?
Some of "present moment" is a concept (thought) here.
But it doesn't really end
> when did the "present moment" began?
I don't need to think about it, it's already here.
So, again
How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?
It feels like moving is a thought.
Don't know what to make of that.
It feels like there's something numb or blind to what that *means*
Somewhere else (around the stomach and belly) it feels like this is welcomed.
Like it's breathing here, the sight that this moment isn't moving.
Just writing this out, it's almost as if this (consideration? remembering?) travels.
Looking for an end, can't find it.
Looking at the next questions I want to say:
Oh boy, I am so ahead of you here 😄
Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?
You know, there's a "pinch" somewhere.
Right side of the face beside the right eye.
There's anxiety, feeling it in the legs. (that's a bit odd now)
detour time!
There seems to be quite a thought pattern going on here with
"I don't know what to make of this"
That already implies I should be doing something with this, doesn't it? Facinating. Now that can't be quite right.
I can't find a moment where now began.
I can't even find a moment where looking really began.
How long does the ‘now’ last?
unexpectedly long. it's still going strong.
Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?
these are thoughts. (but what does that mean?)
When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?
Not the now I just found, it doesn't become the past. (I probably really don't know what I'm talking about)
What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?
right now, there is no past.
So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?
thought: "i am way to confused to answer this right now"
Can't find an actual experience.
Still I feel it's time for bed. How does that make sense?