The Gate

Hi Thomas,

I haven't been active here but I just got an email notifying me of your post.

I'm going to cut to the chase: Every time you look for 'I', you find something within experience (either a thought or a sensation). If you can find 'I' within experience, then what makes it so different from all other experience? If it's a thought/sensation, what makes it so different from other thoughts and sensations?

Is it always there? When immersed in an activity, isn't there no sense of 'I' at all, but you still have your other sensations obviously in experience? So if it's not required to experience anything else, and it's not permanent, and it's noticeable/observable just like all other experience, do you think that it could really be 'you' or anything special? Or maybe it's just a thought/sensation you've learned to label as 'I'?

Anyway, it doesn't matter what you label it as. But now that you've noticed the seer/observer/I is just another thought/sensation, my question is: Who's noticing that thought?
Who notices that "it always points back either to a thought or to a sensation"?
Who notices that "it's circular again"?

Does anyone notice? Does anyone generate those thoughts? Or do they appear spontaneously and then disappear again? Is there anyone here who is "observing" the sense of I? Or is the sense of I simply there independently? Is the sensation in your head felt by anyone, or is it just there, by itself?
It would help to be in a clear, quiet headspace when exploring these questions.

Who's noticing that thought?
Who notices that "it always points back either to a thought or to a sensation"?
Who notices that "it's circular again"?

There is no "one" that is noticing the thought or the sensation. These just appear. Everything is just objects of perception, there is no subject.
Thought : we will see in daily life if this is still clear.
Thought : that is a thought about the future.
Feeling my body.
Feeling this knot in my stomach (I just did an IFS session, discussing with some part of me).
Thought : do I still need to be guided ?
Thought : still the I-thought
Silence.
Hearing birds.
Feeling my body.
Noticing "my" is a thought.
Feeling grateful for you and for your patience.
Feeling touched and even moved.
Tears appearing in my eyes.

I don't know what more to say.

During the IFS session I discussed with the part of me that wants awakening, and actually it wants certainty and security. It is a very deep part. I think it is some kind of protector because it is hard to access the sensation. I spent 40 min feeling it, welcoming it, giving it space.
Maybe I will do this again. It might take time.