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I have looked numerous times and found no separate entity anywhere in any shape or form) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
What is here has remained unchanged for as long as thinking/feeling has been here , at some point I started to check for this separate I , I cannot say for certain that it was ever here.
From my experience believing I was a person moving through time , the thoughts and senses associated with the body here were assumed to be mine .2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
It started once I could communicate through language,sometime around age of 3?I became familiar with the name Mairead.
This was seen long time ago, it was shocking and relief also to realise the thoughts that I had assumed were mine had nothing to do with me.3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
I am relying on memory here,this was quite a while ago. looking for the separate being, looking for edges, where I begin and where I end. I could not say.4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Unsure what you are asking me to describe, but here goes.
Decisions are thinking ( thoughts )5) Describe decision & give examples from experience
Suddenly a thought appears I will book a holiday ( thinking )
Will I go to France or Portugal ( thinking )
Researching holidays on the internet ( seeing )
Thoughts about budget, length of holiday , time of year ( thinking )
Indecisive ( thinking )
Intention = to clean house tomorrow ( thoughts ) = thinkingDescribe intention & give examples from experience.
Intention to go to bed early = thinking
Don’t really know what this meansDescribe free will & give examples from experience.
If I say I have free will to do as I please, how many times have I set out to do something and suddenly plans change .
nce.Describe choice & give examples from experie
Choose to drink coffee/tea = thinking
To stay at home or meet some friends for a drink = thinking
I cannot describe what control is, I cannot control what I’m thinking or feelingDescribe control & give examples from experience.
I don’t even know what I am going to say next
I play bridge online and have little patience for players who do silly things , even tough I realise most are far less experienced players than I am , I cannot control my irritation.
I say to myself , be patient and next minute I am messaging my frustration to them
Belief in two causes one thing to appear to affect another.What makes things happen? How does it work?
.What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience
Again unsure how to answer this, I can only be responsible for what I am believing
Can I even be responsible for that, that’s just another thought
Without thoughts there is nothing to say about anything6) Anything to add?
Thoughts were believed to be the source of suffering here
That is just another thought
There is freedom to not knowing what any of this means
So anything else I can say are just more thoughts about thoughts
Thank you for messaging regularly this past month.At the start mind kept saying, I know all this,why am I doing this?
I would ask it, do you really know , how can a thought know what anything is.
I prefer to not know anything.
Mairead
