Hi Adam,
Here we go!
1. Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
Nothing solid can be found and direct looking confirms this and that there never was; only the illusion of a separate self.
2. Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
It’s a constructed self so to speak. It must start when we are very young, if not before we were born and is reinforced by the language we use to communicate in our society, which rewards the separate self. I don’t know how it works but what does seem clear is that when suffering reaches a certain level, the process can start to reverse so to speak, where the separate self starts to deconstruct. The separate self may appear to return, only to be seen to be illusory once again, with the recognition deepening each time.
3. How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
Seeing and seeing this simply happens. Before this dialogue started there would have been a better story to go with this. The last few days have been good, problems come and problems just go.
4. What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
What apparently is happening via direct looking, is that the intellectual understanding that there is no me, is being replaced by a deeper more intuitive understanding.
5. Describe decision & give examples from experience.
Decisions just happen. When I go for a walk later and get to the bottom of the road, there will likely be a decision made whether to turn left, right or to carry straight on and this decision will happen in the form of thoughts. Sometimes decisions are “made” easily, other times not, and though the content changes they are simply thought trains. Just because decisions are made, that doesn’t mean there is a doer.
6. Describe intention & give examples from experience.
Intention is just the belief that there is a self present, that could and does make the decisions.
7. Describe free will & give examples from experience.
Free will depends on there being a sense of self and works in direct relation to that. If it is seen there is no separate self, then there is nothing to attribute free will to, so it is seen to be illusory. When there was a sense of self here, that was naturally accompanied by a belief that “I” had free will, that was being used to choose jobs, to have preferences and to make all kind of grandiose plans.
8. Describe choice & give examples from experience.
Choice is what I will theoretically “have” before I get to the bottom of the road later and need to decide which way to go. Choice is an illusion and is rather just one form of language that thoughts come in. I could say that I chose to join LU but that is simply not true. From memory there is a trail of thoughts that gives the impression there must have been a choice made but there is no choser to be found anywhere in direct experience.
9. Describe control & give examples from experience.
Control is what in the dream world, we have over the way milk boils in the pan when we make a hot drink. We can control the heat which in turn controls the way the milk boils. There is no ultimate control though, as no controller can ever be found. For the more neurotic in society, control is what they have over their lives, so that they can use their free will, that governs their intentions, to help them make choices and decisions, in order to best control their lives.
10. What makes things happen? How does it work?
I’m not even sure things do happen, never mind how they work. For sure words cannot answer this question.
11. What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Nothing. There is no me that could be responsible for anything. Not to take life too seriously, and as a concession to the inverted society which we find ourselves, some level of responsibility is assumed for meeting people where they are at on “their” journey and also for spreading the message about how spell binding rhinos are.
12. Anything to add?
Only my warmest thanks to Adam for his guidance and to all at Liberation Unleashed for all you do.
Best regards,
Nick