The Gate

Dear Lucia,

About the location, the center seems to be the brain, the place where I am conscious of the perceptions. There is a sound, the hearing happens and together with the hearing there is the knowledge of the direction from the sound comes

Let's return to the exercise of "I, I, I" and "me, me, me" (in Italian, of course :)

Where is the I?
Where is the me?

All the perceptions--seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and some touching--come in through the head, so, of course, it's normal to feel that the head is the center.
But is it?

Describe "the center" in terms of Direct Experience.

Perhaps close the eyes. Now, where is the center?

Love,
Cheryl

Hello Cheryl!

All the perceptions--seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and some touching--come in through the head, so, of course, it's normal to feel that the head is the center.
But is it?

Describe "the center" in terms of Direct Experience.

Perhaps close the eyes. Now, where is the center?

The center is not a point but the area where the sensations are felt. I am looking and I cannot say that there is no center, ‘cause the house of the sensation is my physical body, so the center for seeing and haring is the head, for tactile sensations the skin, for emotions the stomach/hearth.

💕
Lucia

Dear Lucia,

I cannot say that there is no center, ‘cause the house of the sensation is my physical body, so the center for seeing and haring is the head, for tactile sensations the skin, for emotions the stomach/hearth.

The house of sensation, my physical body, the center--these are all assumptions.

Describe the house of sensation in terms of Direct Experience.

Describe "my physical body" in terms of Direct Experience.

Describe "the center" in terms of Direct Experience.

Love,
Cheryl

Dear Cheryl,

Describe the house of sensation in terms of Direct Experience.

Describe "my physical body" in terms of Direct Experience.

Describe "the center" in terms of Direct Experience.

What I want to say is that sensations are felt in my body.
Looking: I see legs, hands, fingers, arms and so on. I perceive their temperature.
I can touch and smell each external part of it.
It is the receptor of the sensations.
Many sensations are located in the head, others in the stomach, other in the skin. In this sense there is not a center, there is the entire body.

Love,
Lucia

Dear Lucia,

Let's review Direct Experience. You have only 6 choices to describe experience.
seeing
hearing
feeling/touching
tasting
smelling
thinking

So when you say

sensations are felt in my body

,
Direct Experience would describe experience something like
sensation
thought--arm
thought--my arm
sensation
thought--head
thought--my head

Describe the house of sensation in terms of Direct Experience.

Describe "my physical body" in terms of Direct Experience.

Describe "the center" in terms of Direct Experience.

Love,
Cheryl

Hello Cheryl.

Describe the house of sensation in terms of Direct Experience.

Describe "my physical body" in terms of Direct Experience.

Seeing: I see it.
Hearing: I can snap fingers and hear the sound for instance, or my stomach when I am hungry or my heart beating in some circumstances.
Feeling/touching: I can touch every external part of it
Tasting: If I would I could taste my skin
Smelling: I can smell my skin
Thinking: I can think of it.


Describe "the center" in terms of Direct Experience.

I can't feel a real center, the sensations are felt in the different parts of the body.
In this moment I feel the fingers on the keybord, foots on the floor, and the eyes focused on the screen. No center.

Love, Lucia

Dear Lucia,

Seeing: I see it.
Hearing: I can snap fingers and hear the sound for instance, or my stomach when I am hungry or my heart beating in some circumstances.
Feeling/touching: I can touch every external part of it
Tasting: If I would I could taste my skin
Smelling: I can smell my skin
Thinking: I can think of it.

Now, go through these and delete the object of the sentence.
For instance, delete "it".

Seeing: I see.
Etcetera.

How does that feel?

Love,
Cheryl

Dear Cheryl,

I feel like crying with relief.
Maybe is because of the stressfull period I'm going through, but in any case deleting the object of the sentences is very very relaxing and it gives me a sense of expansion, peace, non resistance.
It's like allowing things to happen whitout the need of my mind in control. There is no need for a mind, for knowing things, there is no need to catalog anything.
I see
I hear
I smell
I taste
I think...

Then the thought arises, "Yes, I am seeing without an object, but that is a door, that is a chair... I can pretend not to give them a name but I know what they are."
Can you help me with this?

Love, Lucia

Dear Lucia,

Yes. That ingrained habit of naming things is as old as we are. Our parents told us "ball," "cat," "cabinet."
Never mind that every ball is different. Even the "same" balls are different.
Every cat is different.
Cat is a cat-egory :), but "cat" as a category doesn't exist.

It will take a very long time to decondition this habit of naming things. Can you see the emptiness of the category of cat? If not, don't worry. It will come in its own time.

the thought arises, "Yes, I am seeing without an object, but that is a door, that is a chair.

Well, that's a thought. Then there are thoughts about thoughts. And then there are thoughts about thoughts about thoughts. And it's turtles all the way down. (Do you know this story? In ancient times, some people thought the world was supported / held up by a turtle. But what was that turtle standing on? Another turtle. Etcetera. Thus, it's turtles all the way down. :)

Next assignment:

I see
I hear
I smell
I taste
I think...

Now take the subject (the "I") out of every sentence.

How does that feel?

Love,
Cheryl

Hello Cheryl,

Wow...that feels so peaceful...
It lasts few seconds but it is a profound rest, there is no fear as though "I" am not responsible of anything. Life just happens and there is no need to protect "myself" from it.

About categories, yes I see they're empty, I have to reason a bit but I see it.

Love,
Lucia

Dear Lucia,

Let’s explore choice, control and decision-making a bit further.

Can you take me through a biggish decision that you made recently - not something very personal so you share more details about it.
How did it come to be?

Consider all the conditions that were necessary for it to happen. If any one of those conditions were different, would the outcome have been the same?
How many of these conditions were outside of your influence?
What was in your control (according to thought)?

Please give me some details about your decision making.
Love,
Cheryl

Hi dear Cheryl.

Can you take me through a biggish decision that you made recently - not something very personal so you share more details about it.
How did it come to be?

I start by saying that I do not like taking decisions or programming life because I've had several experiences where I had planned a certain way and something happened that ruined everything.
I must say that I am afraid of making programs/taking decisions.
The last big decision I took was my trip to Marrakesh.
I hadn't taken a trip in 16 years because there are 4 of us in the family plus 2 dogs and organizing a holiday for everyone is too expensive.
This year our daughters had a trip to the Canary Islands paid for by an aunt, so I felt like booking a small trip for my husband and I too and I immediately bought the tickets. Then I started to panic, I started to think that I had been too hasty and that something could happen that would ruin the trip. Fortunately everything went very well.

Consider all the conditions that were necessary for it to happen. If any one of those conditions were different, would the outcome have been the same?

No, I think that the that conditions were the ones that made the trip possible and a great experience.

How many of these conditions were outside of your influence?

All the conditions: my daughters with their Canarian holidays, the nice price of the plane tickets, the possibility to take 2 days off from work, the health and the good weather.

What was in your control (according to thought)?

The decision to buy the tickets…I felt a strong desire but I am used to ignore many of my desires because first come the wellness of the entire family. In this case I have chosen to give me a super gift.

💝
Lucia

Dear Lucia,

Sounds like a great trip! You're inspiring me to consider Marrakesh :)

What was in your control (according to thought)?
The decision to buy the tickets

Now go through the decision to buy the tickets, little step by little step.

What was under your control?

Love,
Cheryl

Dear Cheryl,

Yes if you like typical and historical places, you have to go!

go through the decision to buy the tickets, little step by little step.

What was under your control?

First I had a look on the various destinations available with departure from Venice, ‘cause we didn’t want drive too far.
From the list I checked prices of the flights and the hotels.
For instance Barcelona and Alicante, which I’d love to visit, were too expensive, or Alicante, too expensive.
I finally saw Marrakesh and it was ideal both in terms of flight and hotel prices and flight times.
My husband agreed.
And then I tap in “buy tickets” and it was done.
For sure availability, prices and flight times weren’t under my control.
In that moment it was ok to buy tickets and so it happened. Yes, I see it wasn’t under my control.
Yes…
The thought of not making the purchase could have prevailed, but the thought of leaving prevailed instead. I don't know what made one prevail over the other. It just happened.
It's strange to see how my choice happens without my having control over it. So it's no longer a choice. So we have no choices....
When it comes to positive actions it is quite easy to agree, however when they are mistakes or actions that cause pain to someone it is more difficult to accept the non-choice.
Sorry if I'm going on but this thing is bothering me a lot.
In recent days I had to do some of the work of a colleague who was on holiday and therefore I had to stay in the office later. One evening I was particularly annoyed and I closed the PC even though I knew there was a small error in a file.
I thought for a moment about turning it back on and correcting it, but then I thought I was tired, they were waiting for me at home for dinner and no one was dying due to a turnover estimate that wasn't precise to the cent, and I left.
Then I felt guilty for two days for not having been precise and dutiful…It seems it’s a matter of thoughts, the stronger thought decide the outcome. That evening the strong thought was to go home.
Is this really how it works?
Love,
Lucia

Dear Lucia,

Is this really how it works?

Well, look closely.
IS this how it REALLY works?

One evening I was particularly annoyed and I closed the PC even though I knew there was a small error in a file.
I thought for a moment about turning it back on and correcting it,
but then I thought I was tired,
they were waiting for me at home for dinner
and no one was dying due to a turnover estimate that wasn't precise to the cent,
and I left.
Then I felt guilty for two days for not having been precise and dutiful…
It seems it’s a matter of thoughts, the stronger thought decide the outcome. That evening the strong thought was to go home.

Break this down into the tiny steps of Direct Experience.

What is guilt--in Direct Experience?

Love,
Cheryl