1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
There is no separate self, no watcher, no mind made manager and there never was. There is just life flowing just as it always has.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
From an early age we as children are constantly told that we are ‘this’ and we are ‘that.’ We are bombarded with a never ending avalanche of labels which over time we come to attach thoughts to which create beliefs which build what we think is an identity that is uniquely us. Our toys belong to us, our thoughts belong to us, we are different, we are separate, we must defend ourselves, we must defend our identity but in reality there is nothing and no one to defend. The direct experience of life which we were born with was slowly eroded by an ever increasing number of content filled thoughts related to a self that we mistook to actually exist. As a child I was constantly told (by a family member) that I was rubbish at everything I did, consequently the mind made me began to issue thoughts reflecting the mind made thoughts of another. I was a child and he was the adult, my content filled thoughts told me this must be truth. As we grow up, we learn language skills through interaction and verbal labelling. Humans communicate using verbal labels which can be useful but this has also become a way that the false self has used to maintain the illusion that it actually exists. The false self labels things it ‘thinks’ it sees in the outside world and then creates labels for how it thinks it should deal with those things creating a cycle of never ending illusion.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
The difference from when I started this dialogue with Paul is massive. It will take time for this transition to integrate…I don’t need a content filled thought to tell me this lol There is a clarity within me that I never experienced before. I live much more now in direct experience. I sat yesterday for quite some time just looking at my garden but not seeing it…being it. I’m actually sitting here finding it a challenge to label my experience, isn’t that odd.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
When I began this process with Paul, i don’t think I really saw what I should be questioning and therefore what questions to ask. Paul was constantly pointing toward the path but I think that my ‘mind created self’ wanted a more detailed map toward the destination, it certainly didn’t want to see anything that might put it out of a job….not that it ever had one apart from needless suffering. When Paul told me to ‘question everything’ I didn’t really get it at first. However, as we progressed, my one sentence replies to each of his questions began to change and take on a life of their own. I would write out an answer to Paul but then look at what I had written and began to question that and then question that until my own questions created space for insight and light began to shine more brightly on the darkness that the illusion was hiding behind. This way of progressing reached critical mass for me one day and the constant ‘looking’ toward direct experience became just experience. The genius of this process is that it doesn’t show you the way but helps you via your own insights to find it and uncover the truth for yourself. Also, when i really understood the nature of ‘content filled thought’ my true direct experience of life began to unfold.
5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.
As I go through life now there is no real conscious decision making. I see what needs to be done and I do it.
Describe intention & give examples from experience.
Intension really feels like something my false self might like. Does nature have any intentions? Does the flow of life really need intentions?
Describe free will & give examples from experience.
Life flows and happens and unfolds naturally. Free will seems to me to be the domain of a mind created self that because it believes it is real has a will to be exercised and choices that it can manipulate.
Describe choice & give examples from experience.
See my previous answer.
Describe control & give examples from experience.
Control is biggest lie that the false self tells itself. The false self is just made up of content filled thought, thoughts come and go and change and fluctuate and morph and cannot be controlled, they never could be.
What makes things happen? How does it work?
Nothing makes things happen, they flow and unfold as they should. I don’t see anything in direct experience that makes things happen.
What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
There is no mind created entity here to assume responsibility for anything.
6) Anything to add?
I am reborn. Thank you Paul.